It’s
the beginning of yet another day in your life, and it’s once again - as happens every day - an opportunity to make some
symbolic new beginnings. Starting some things in a new way as this day moves forward, is a decision only you can make, but it is also a
decision that can have a major impact on your life and well-being. Imagine you
have found yourself drinking or smoking too much. Or consider that you have
realized that the people you surround yourself with are not necessarily the
kind that enrich your inner life. Or that you eat far too much and far too
poorly, and never or rarely exercise.
In
all of these instances, you would instantly know how you could make
improvements. What I’d like to tackle in today’s post, is another
kind of factor that has a major impact on your life – on a more internal level
– and yet, that internal level, impacts so much else (such as the above) on
external levels.
Running
away from life is what I call a lack of engagement
with – and interest in - your inner self. It is generally based on fear of what
you may find, as well as having its deepest roots in a lack of self love,
because it is self-love that encourages you – even pushes you - towards that
inner voyage.
You
might think that running away from life has more to do with social shyness or
timidity in going out and getting something you want. Certainly, that is also
part of it, but my opinion is that this latter running away is based more on
what is not working in the former description of running away – that lack of
engagement with your inner self. And yes, there are many, many people who are
fully engaged in an outer life, and not at all in an inner life, but frequently
in such cases the outer is used as a kind of bullet-proof vest to protect them
from the inner quest – especially the fears it provokes when they think about
it. Remember, engaging with the self means truly getting to know the self,
along with all its nastiness, messiness, and just plain dysfunctionality, to
mention only a few. But it also means coming to know your inner richness, and
greatness, your inner potential, and all that you could become, if only
you take yourself down that road.
You
might consider the little voice you sometimes – perhaps even often –
hear that tells you that there is something more to life than how you are
currently experiencing it. Some listen to the voice and begin to take some
steps – even if they are baby steps, but many ignore it due to the perennial
fear that sets in when they contemplate looking at the self. They become so
adept at ignoring the little voice, that at some point in their lives, they
truly no longer hear it. Or they misunderstand its meaning, and reach for some
food, a cigarette, or a beer. Perhaps a calamitous event brings the voice back,
chaos and destruction of some kind in their lives, the loss of an important
relationship, illness, death of a loved one, loss of a job, security, or
prestige, but not even that always works. It can be a wake-up call for some –
even an epiphany – but often it is simply looked at as bad luck, fate, or
something else that allows the person to continue avoiding the look inside.
So
what can you do – whether or not you are conscious of hearing the little voice
– in order to promote a greater engagement with your life on all those levels?
In
some senses, I know that what follows will make many of you think I’m beginning
to sound like a broken record, and yet, it is precisely the precepts I repeat
over and over again (based on millennial truths and wisdom) that are truly part
of what can move you towards this path. As I wrote in my first book Rewiring the Soul, in
marketing it is said that an individual must see a given product an average of
nine times before he/she is prompted to purchase it. In psychology, it is a
similar thing. You may need to hear of a concept, or read about it for a good
number of times, before it sinks in, in order to actually be able to make it
your own. Therefore, here, in no particular order, are some of the most
crucial things you can do in order to move closer to your life – your inner and
outer life – as opposed to running away from it:
- Use a method that works for you to become conscious and
aware all the waking hours of your day. Mindfulness is an excellent tool.
- As you become more aware, use everything that crosses
your path to grow. Here are two simple examples:
*
You’re impatient with that co-worker? Learn to become more patient (which
doesn’t mean he doesn’t need to step up to the plate in his task).
*
You’re jealous of your partner? Learn to understand that your jealousy stems
from a lack of self-confidence and self-security, which is related to a lack of
self-love. Also learn, that should your partner deliberately engage in
behaviour that creates jealousy in you, while YOU are responsible for your
own feeling, it is perhaps necessary to ask yourself why you are with such
a partner, and this may be related to poor boundaries.
- As you become more aware, learn to use self-dialogue to
gradually be in charge of knee-jerk reactions. This is part of the path to
emotional maturity
- As you become more aware, learn to use self-dialogue to
self-regulate your thoughts, emotions, actions, and reactions. This too is
part of the path to emotional maturity.
- Understand that being aware means observing yourself at
all times. At the beginning this may seem to be analysis paralysis, but
you will find that very quickly it moves into the background, and becomes
automatic in your day. The more you observe yourself, the more you employ
self-dialogue to talk to yourself about whatever it is that is happening
and the manner in which you are reacting to it, the more you will have
yourself in hand in such a way that your inner well-being grows
exponentially.
And
that is the crux of the matter when you engage fully in your life and self,
without running away from any of it: your inner well-being, and your Inner
peace and harmony. These are meant to be present at every moment of every day, no
matter what the outer circumstances. You may believe this to be an
impossible quest, but I promise you, not only is it possible, but it is
possible very quickly, if you apply yourself to the matter.
***************
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**************************************************
See the preview (click on the title below) to my online video course
*****************************
CHARLAS EN ESPAÑOL EN YOUTUBE
Vampiros energéticos: Su efecto destructivo en tu vida
En YouTube aquí
CHARLAS EN ESPAÑOL EN YOUTUBE
Vampiros energéticos: Su efecto destructivo en tu vida
En YouTube aquí
*******************************
"Límites malsanos y autoestima: Tu felicidad y el amor hacia ti mismo"
"Límites malsanos y autoestima: Tu felicidad y el amor hacia ti mismo"
****************************
****************************
"Soluciones para personas emocionalmente inaccesibles
y con dependencia emocional"
en Youtube aquí
****************************
Narcisismo y Psicopatía: Vivir sin Empatía
en YouTube aquí
****************************
Relación espiritual y sexo en pareja
en YouTube aquí
****************************
Elige hábitos para llevar una vida de bienestar
en YouTube aquí
****************************
Morir: Un enfoque espiritual
en YouTube aquí
****************************
Amor sano o disfuncional: ¿Cuál es la diferencia?
en YouTube aqui
*****************************
"Soluciones para personas emocionalmente inaccesibles
y con dependencia emocional"
en Youtube aquí
****************************
Narcisismo y Psicopatía: Vivir sin Empatía
****************************
Relación espiritual y sexo en pareja
en YouTube aquí
****************************
Elige hábitos para llevar una vida de bienestar
en YouTube aquí
****************************
Morir: Un enfoque espiritual
en YouTube aquí
****************************
Amor sano o disfuncional: ¿Cuál es la diferencia?
en YouTube aqui
*****************************
BOOKS - LIBROS - BÜCHER
Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books (also in Spanish & German). My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is available globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.
Bücher von Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (Deutsch) ... JETZT bei Amazon (Taschenbuch oder E-Book) erhältlich
DEINE SEELE UND DU
Libros por Gabriella Kortsch (español) ... ahora en todo el mundo en Amazon en versión bolsillo y Kindle
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