Reaching Towards What You (Still) Might Become

Have you ever wondered about the you that might have been if you had studied archaeology instead of law? Or if you had married John instead of Richard, or Melanie instead of Liz? Or how about the you that might have been if you had taken up that rather challenging and even frightening opportunity to lead a team of investors of your firm, but it meant moving to India? Or how about the you that might have been if you had never taken that first step down a road of ever-increasing prevarications or even outright lies? Or how about the you that might have been if you had cared more about how your profession made you feel, rather than about the amount of money it put into your bank account?

Such questions generally come later in life rather than earlier. They come as we look back over the trajectory we’ve traversed, and begin asking ourselves how we stand with regards to what we’ve accomplished and what our intrinsic reaction to all of it is. They may not be questions and thoughts we share with many or even anyone at all. And yet they are there, in our hearts, our minds, our souls. And we may grieve that which we did not do, wishing we had taken other decisions, or, at best, wondering how and who we might be, had we done things differently.

My take on this is very optimistic. I firmly believe that it is never too late to make changes that take you down a road you may now wish you had taken earlier. Whether that road represents what you do, how you think, or what you believe, I am convinced that it is totally in your hands to make these changes, no matter in which part of your life your find yourself. Young, middle-aged, old … it is simply never too late.

Why do I say this? I believe that it is not the specificity of what you left out of your life that is as significant as the essence of what that implied. The essence I am referring to, comprises the parts of you – the crucial parts of you - that would be different, had you followed that other road. Or at least, that would be different as far as you are able to determine in hindsight. And of course that most frequently implies an inner orientation, a way of being that would have been influenced by having lived that other life.

Therefore, if you are able to visualize … even if only tenuously … what might have been; that inner orientation, or way of being that would be different … you are, in my way of seeing it, already halfway there. What this means is that you already have the inner capacity to create that inner change, no matter what your choices have been thus far.

In practice, this means – and again, this is my view – that you are able to bring new life into your life by working on your inner world, because that is often the part of you that fell by the wayside due to decisions made earlier on the subjects that you are now pondering. Working on your inner world can be an immensely satisfying and enriching bit of business. Begin taking up – for example – some of the following practices in order to take you in that incalculably valuable direction:

• The most primordial and life-changing practice you could foment is that of becoming as fully conscious of yourself as you possibly can. The way I generally recommend is to take up mindfulness – a waking meditation that can be practised at any time and at all hours – that is very simple to learn (see Mindfulness: Change Your Life With This 15-Minute Daily Exercise)
• As you become aware of yourself, you will become aware of your thoughts, feelings, reactions, and actions much more rapidly than you may ever have done. This means you will be able to change your self-dialogue about whatever it is that is happening in your mind, heart, and soul … if you practice doing so.
• As you change your self-dialogue, you will begin to see yourself in ways that are different in a far-reaching manner as opposed to the you that you were accustomed to seeing.
• This will lead you to make changes in those near-automatic parts of yourself that you were not paying attention to at another time of your life, in order to become someone you might like to have as a friend
• All of this leads to self-love, a crucially necessary ingredient to leading a good life.
• That again leads to creating healthier boundaries.
• It also leads to self-regulation management in ways with which you may not be familiar.
• That in turn leads to inner peace and harmony.
• And that in turn leads to loving kindness and compassion.

This is not a fairy tale, nor the unrealistic dream of an overt idealist. This is possible for all of us to achieve. It does require commitment and practice. It’s a gradual process that responds – just as a plant does – to careful tending and gentle nourishing. It also requires a desire to go there, and a realization that it is this kind of work on yourself that could lead you to that evanescent you that you might (still) become.

Also see If You Find Peace Inside, the World Will Automatically Move Closer to Peace

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VIDEO COURSES IN ENGLISH


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Fatherless Women & Motherless Men





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Freedom From the Torture of Your Thoughts




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"Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin"

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CHARLAS EN ESPAÑOL EN YOUTUBE


Vampiros energéticos: Su efecto destructivo en tu vida

En YouTube aquí

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"Límites malsanos y autoestima: Tu felicidad y el amor hacia ti mismo"

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"Basta con la tortura de tus pensamientos"

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"Soluciones para personas emocionalmente inaccesibles 
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Narcisismo y Psicopatía: Vivir sin Empatía

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Relación espiritual y sexo en pareja

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Elige hábitos para llevar una vida de bienestar

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Morir: Un enfoque espiritual

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BOOKS - LIBROS - BÜCHER

Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books (also in Spanish & German). My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is available globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English). Available globally in paperback or Kindle e-book versions

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DEINE SEELE UND DU

  

Angefangen mit Rewiring the Soul - auf Deutsch: Deine Seele und Du, jetzt weltweit erhältlich als Taschenbuch oder Kindle E-Book (Blog hier), werden auch meine anderen Bücher in Zukunft auf Deutsch bei Amazon erhältlich sein.

Libros por Gabriella Kortsch (español) ... ahora en todo el mundo en Amazon en versión bolsillo y Kindle

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