"A revelation of insight into the foundations of human suffering & transcendence. It not only lays out essential steps for inner freedom and joy but illuminates the way to true human potential." Paul Rademacher, author: A Spiritual Hitchhiker's Guide to the Universe

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre

"Rewiring the Soul is one the best introductions to the spiritual life I've ever read. Not esoteric but real-world and practical. The implications are profound." Peter Shepherd, author: Daring To Be Yourself

Monday, November 23, 2015

Irritation May Help You See Better

Do this exercise quickly: make a list of habits and character traits of others that most annoy you. Even perhaps some others with whom you haven't got a particular relationship, but when that kind of person shows up at the office, in the neighbourhood, or at a dinner party, you can feel your annoyance engorging, your hackles rise, your irritation increases, and in general, you just know that you very much dislike having a person like that around you.

Perhaps some of the habits and traits you dislike look like this (and of course there are hundreds more):
  • being weak and helpless
  • always being helpful
  • never helping
  • always being gay and joyous
  • always being pessimistic
  • knowing more than others
  • knowing very little
  • being domineering
  • being loud
  • being quiet
  • being subservient
  • being harsh
  • being abrupt
  • being overly explanatory
  • complaining
  • self-involved
  • impatient
Now here's the thing: any behavior or attitude or trait or habit of another that evokes affect (emotion) in me, tells me something about me, and not about the other. That is to say: the other may be any of the above things (or other, far worse things), but the point of this little exercise is to make you see that as soon as an emotion of annoyance, irritation, etc., arises within you, it is telling you something about you, as opposed to proving that the other is a this or a that. If you were not involved in this, none of your emotions would surface. The whole thing simply would not matter to you. The fact that your emotions do surface, means it does matter to you because there is something in you that is affected by this behavior of the other, that you need to take a look at. Because the inner place in which you wish to be is a place where the behavior of others does not have the power to affect you in this way. Not because you do not care, but because you are in a place of inner awareness and balance. Therefore, it means that when these emotions arise, they should be taken as indications of something in me that I need to look at, and hence, they can be illuminating and helpful to my own growth. Jung put it like this: Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.

What is irritating you about another person today? And what do you intend to do about it?

Image: Bay of Naples


Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is available globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English). Available globally in paperback or Kindle e-book versions

Bücher von Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (Deutsch) ... JETZT bei Amazon (Taschenbuch oder E-Book) erhaltbar 

Angefangen mit Rewiring the Soul - auf Deutsch: Deine Seele und Du, jetzt weltweit erhaltbar als Taschenbuch oder Kindle E-Book (Blog hier), werden auch meine anderen Bücher in Zukunft auf Deutsch bei Amazon erhaltbar sein.

Libros por Gabriella Kortsch (español) ... próximamente en Amazon en versión bolsillo y E-Libro para Kindle

Empezando con Rewiring the Soul - en español: Reconectar con el Alma (blog aquí), se podrán encontrar mis libros en español por todo el mundo próximamente en Amazon.

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is The Tao of Spiritual Partnership, so named for another one of my books. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed. 

My blog posts are also featured on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, Pinterest & you can find me on Instagram 

No comments:

Post a Comment