Today I'd
like to share my thoughts about living with doubt. If you have mastered being
able to do that - being able to live with doubt - you will have removed one of
the greatest impediments from your daily well-being. What a blessed and hopeful
way to live!
Isn't
it true that when you doubt, you suffer? Think of doubting that you will be
able to keep your job, or be able to bring your marriage back to a viable
position, or that your health will improve, or that your child will get into
that school you have your heart set on because of the academic advantages it
offers.
All
of these doubts - and as you see I've attempted to choose from a wide panoply -
attack your well-being. But they're understandable doubts, and of course you
can think of dozens - even hundreds - more.
So
what can you do? Doubt leads to stress, to worry, to fear, pain and suffering.
Doubt is most definitely not your friend. Further, doubt eats at your
well-being, bringing in its wake depression, lethargy, anxiety, panic, not to
mention all the physiological consequences of such negative emotions: high
blood pressure, acidic body, headaches or other pains in the body, chest pain,
stomach problems, or digestive issues, etc.
First,
please understand that doubt is composed of thoughts. Thoughts create doubt
that then may lead to other negative emotions. As you have read on many
occasions in these newsletters and in my blog articles, it is entirely
possible to take charge of your thoughts. Reiterating, taking care of your
thoughts does not mean shoving them under the carpet, pretending the problem no
longer exists, but being able to manage them by choosing where (and how long)
to focus your attention. (For further information, please read Get a Grip on
Your Thoughts & Get a Grip on Your Life! from my Nov. 2011
newsletter or How Your
Thoughts Change Your Body from my March 2008 newsletter). For instance, if
your thoughts are about your health and a worrisome diagnosis you have just
received from the doctor, choosing where to focus your attention would
imply that you would be very consciously aware of how long or how often you are
entertaining the specific thoughts that create doubt. You would also be aware
of the feeling state such thoughts and such potentially lengthy dwelling on
precisely those thoughts and the circuitous thinking (going around and around
the same issue over and over again, like a hamster caught on his treadmill)
this would provoke. Hence, you would, assuming you are aware of yourself in the
healthy ways we have discussed over and over again, be able to focus your
attention elsewhere by utilizing simple mindfulness exercises that move you
into the present moment as opposed to finding yourself in the past or the
future (for further information on this, also see from my blog, for example, Your Choice
of Reaction to Stress).
The
moment you find yourself fully in the present, you are no longer suffering, and
no longer entertaining doubts because in the present there is only the
present, and thoughts of past and future (doubt, fear, worry, suffering
are always involved in the past and/or future, never in the
present) pass by your mind in a way that allows you to remain unaffected by
their potential emotional weight. There is a caveat however: this 'moving
consciously into the present' needs to be practiced. You can't expect this to
work simply by doing it once, moving into the present moment, and then noticing
that seconds later your thoughts have moved back to doubt, worry, or fear. As
always, this can be compared to muscle building or body toning - it simply
doesn't work if you only go to the gym once.
And
there are such endlessly marvelous benefits: living a major part of your life
in the present moment by consciously taking charge of your thoughts implies:
- greater well-being
- emotional
- physical
- psychological
- spiritual
- greater peace
- greater continuous state of conscious awareness -
simply being present implies this (just as being awake means not sleeping)
- greater inner harmony and equanimity which leads to
greater ease in choosing your reactions in any situation and circumstance
you can imagine
- grater connection to your own self (among other reasons
because you are not seeking to distract yourself or to find ways to feel
better due to those nagging doubts)
- greater ease in finding in within yourself to be
- kind
- compassionate
- loving
- patient
- caring
- greater ease in seeing the connectedness of all beings
MOVING INTO YOUR OWN SKIN
We
might say, therefore, that vanquishing doubt, learning how to take charge of
your thoughts, remaining consciously aware, and living mindfully in the present,
all allow you to move into your own skin. Although I will write another article
about this in the future, I'd just like to say that this - moving into your own
skin - is the closest that I have been able to come to understand the true
meaning of Joseph Campbell's famous follow your own bliss, seen from the
position that it implies inner contentment because you are involved in a life
purpose and it implies being involved in a life purpose because you have inner
contentment, which again, can be laid to rest at the door of vanquishing your
doubts by being in charge of your thoughts and living consciously and
mindfully.
Using
these ideas as your own personal Leitmotif promises you greater
riches than any you will find in your portfolio, and certainly greater
satisfaction than any you may find in professional, academic, or social
success. All these mundane and more material matters form part and parcel of
our lives, and so they should, but if the underpinnings to the delight and joy
those outer successes may bring us are not based on the principles this article
espouses, then the satisfaction and contentment the outer success brings will
never last. But the inner connection, living life in your own skin, following
your bliss, and finding peace, harmony and joy there, offers you the
possibility of enduring well-being.
*********************************
Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is out globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.
Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English)
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