"A revelation of insight into the foundations of human suffering & transcendence. It not only lays out essential steps for inner freedom and joy but illuminates the way to true human potential." Paul Rademacher, author: A Spiritual Hitchhiker's Guide to the Universe

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre

"Rewiring the Soul is one the best introductions to the spiritual life I've ever read. Not esoteric but real-world and practical. The implications are profound." Peter Shepherd, author: Daring To Be Yourself

Friday, April 24, 2015

Is Moodiness Your 'Default' Mode?

Waking up in a bad mood, or devolving into one during the course of the day, is almost always a sign of not really being aware of yourself. Moods are different from negative emotions (although both are difficult and can be dealt with if you so choose because it is a choice) in that moods are so much more all-pervasive, all-encompassing, and in some fashion appear to envelop the person affected by them in a dense fog of ... well ... moodiness. Almost as though you get lost in them, as you might get lost in the fog. Sometimes - possibly very often - you're not even quite sure exactly why you're in such-and-such a mood. Emotions, on the other hand, are more defined, crisp, and potentially closer to your awareness.

I've written a great deal (in these articles and in this blog and in this other blog) about emotions and how to deal with them. Today I want to address mood and moodiness.

You've probably been in this situation: you come home and find your partner wearing a dour expression. Or a sour one. Or perhaps the curves of his/her mouth are simply etching a moue. So you ask: What's wrong, dear? And you are told: Nothing. Of course you know something is wrong, but even if you probe a bit further - at this particular point, you most certainly don't appear to be getting a reply. And perhaps the most difficult part about trying to understand  it tends to be the fact that you could get this same answer whether or not you have done anything to cause the mood, according to your partner.

Another situation related to mood can be observed when someone asks you how you are, and you realize that you are not only not 'good', but that you've been in a foul mood since Monday. And you hadn't really stopped to think about it ... you just were living inside that foul mood.

What's not right with this scenario? If you are in a mood of some kind you may know that you are annoyed about something, or upset in some way, or just plain down or miserable, but the lack of a clear answer, realization, or understanding about exactly what is going on, tells you that some, if not a lot, of awareness around this mood is missing. With missing awareness comes missing self-responsibility for the mood (remember that 'you are always responsible for your happiness'), as well as a missing self-responsibility for being not only more forth-coming with your partner, but also for being kinder, more considerate, and simply - less moody - with your partner in the face of a question (such as in the first example). Also, with missing awareness, comes a further missing decision to make better choices, and finally - and most importantly, comes a lack of self-caring and self-love. If you care for yourself, and if you love yourself in healthy ways, you will 'catch' those moods when they threaten to overtake you, and you will very proactively do something about them, not because you're going to pretend that this or that isn't wrong in your life, but because you don't want to be caught in a sticky spiderweb of your own blind reactions to life. Taking care of this is a huge part of what it means to love yourself. If you are not yet taking care of it on a regular basis; i.e., catching it as it happens, and then choosing to change it, you will have to trust me that you have not yet really begun to love yourself.

Doing something about the moods has to do with your self-dialogue. What do you tell yourself when a bad mood overtakes you like a thundercloud overtakes a sunny afternoon? There can be countless variations, but you probably are familiar with your own. So therefore it has to do with you then choosing to change that narrative. Perhaps a part of the new one is: I don't really want to be here - in this moody state - so I'm going to do something about it. Perhaps that 'something' is deliberately focusing on beauty and gratitude in order to make a mindful energetic shift. It won't be huge, but it will take you in the right direction. And if you then continue on that particular road, and if you have time, you might choose (because you care for yourself and your inner well-being) to take a mindfulness walk (which will help you also change the state of your thoughts if you practice it on a daily basis) and/or to vamp up that good energy that is beginning to build up by further listening to, viewing, or reading some inspirational and motivational material (so much is freely available on the web). You want to bring yourself to a point where this higher inner energetic frequency is part of who you are; is part of your 'default' mode. These are choices you can make on a daily basis and they will have an enormous impact - if you continue doing them - on the quality of your life.


Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is out globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English)

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (Spanish & German - coming Spring 2015)


Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is The Tao of Spiritual Partnership, so named for another one of my books. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

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Meine Bücher auf deutsch ab Frühjahr 2015 
Mis libros en español a partir de la primavera de 2015

Angefangen mit Rewiring the Soul - auf deutsch: Wiedervereinigung mit der Seele (Blog hier), werden meine Bücher weltweit auf Amazon ab Frühjahr 2015 erhaltbar sein.

Empezando con Rewiring the Soul - en español: Reconectar con el Alma (blog aquí), se podrán encontrar mis libros globalmente en Amazon en español a partir de la primavera de 2015.

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