"A revelation of insight into the foundations of human suffering & transcendence. It not only lays out essential steps for inner freedom and joy but illuminates the way to true human potential." Paul Rademacher, author: A Spiritual Hitchhiker's Guide to the Universe

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre

"Rewiring the Soul is one the best introductions to the spiritual life I've ever read. Not esoteric but real-world and practical. The implications are profound." Peter Shepherd, author: Daring To Be Yourself

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Moodiness & the "Default Mode"

Waking up in a bad mood, or devolving into one during the course of the day, is almost always a sign of not really being aware of yourself. Moods are different from negative emotions (although both are difficult and can be dealt with) in that moods are so much more all-pervasive, all-encompassing, and in some fashion appear to envelop the person affected by them in a dense fog of ... well ... moodiness. Emotions, on the other hand, are more defined, crisp, and potentially closer to your awareness.

I've written a great deal (here and on my other blog) about emotions and how to deal with them. Today I want to address mood.

You've probably been in this situation: you come home and find your partner wearing a dour expression. Or a sour one. Or perhaps the curves of his/her mouth are simply etching a moue. So you ask: What's wrong, dear? And you are told: Nothing. Of course you know something is wrong, but even if you probe a bit further - at this particular point, you most certainly aren't getting a reply. And perhaps the most difficult part of it tends to be the fact that you could get this same answer whether or not you have done anything to cause the mood, according to your partner.

Another situation related to mood can be observed when someone asks you how you are, and you realize that you are not only not 'good', but that you've been in a foul mood since Monday. And you hadn't really stopped to think about it ... you just were living inside that foul mood.

What's not right with this scenario? The person who is in a mood of some kind may know that he/she is annoyed about something, or upset in some way, or just plain down or miserable, but the lack of a clear answer, realization, or understanding, tells you that some, if not a lot, of awareness around this mood is missing. With missing awareness comes missing self-responsibility for the mood (remember that 'you are responsible for your happiness'), as well as a missing self-responsibility for being not only more forth-coming with you, the partner, but also for being kinder, more considerate, and simply - less moody - with you in the face of your question (in the first example). Also, with missing awareness, comes a further missing decision to make better choices, and finally - and most importantly, comes a lack of self-caring and self-love. If you care for yourself, and if you love yourself in healthy ways, you will 'catch' those moods when they threaten to overtake you, and you will very proactively do something about them, not because you're going to pretend that this or that isn't wrong in your life, but because you don't want to be caught in a sticky spiderweb of your own blind reactions to life.

Doing something about the moods has to do with your self-dialogue. What do you tell yourself when a bad mood overtakes you like a thundercloud overtakes a sunny afternoon? There can be countless variations, but you probably are familiar with your own. So it has to do with then changing that narrative. Perhaps a part of the new one is: I don't really want to be here - in this moody state - so I'm going to do something about it. Perhaps that 'something' is deliberately focusing on beauty and gratitude in order to make a mindful energetic shift. It won't be huge, but it will take you in the right direction. And if you then continue on that particular road, and if you have time, you might choose (because you care for yourself and your inner well-being) to take a mindfulness walk and/or to vamp up that good energy that is beginning to build up by further listening to, viewing, or reading some inspirational and motivational material (so much is freely available on the web). You want to bring yourself to a point where this higher inner energetic frequency is part of who you are; is part of your 'default mode'.

Image Credit: Krystal Sheldon

Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch:

Rewiring the Soul

Click here to download the first chapter.
To see the Table of Contents click here

Reviews From the Back Cover:

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, Director, Center for Sacred Theatre, Ashland, Oregon; author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre

"Rewiring the Soul is one the best introductions to the spiritual life I've ever read. Not esoteric but real-world & practical. The implications are profound." Peter Shepherd; Founder Trans4mind.com; author: Daring To Be Yourself 

"The human being's directory to the soul. A breakthrough for those seeking practical assistance, those of a more mystical bent & every soul awaiting discovery." Toni Petrinovich, Ph.D.; author: The Call: Awakening the Angelic Human

The Tao of Spiritual Partnership

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

Praise for The Tao of Spiritual Partnership

“All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come."
Chris Griscom: Spiritual Leader, Author (among others) of: Ecstasy is a New Frequency

“Eloquent and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion.” 

Robert Schwartz: Author of Your Soul’s Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born 

The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self 

My new book: The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self, is just out. Click here to download an excerpt. 

From the Introduction: It is your right to live a life of love. It is your right to understand that loving yourself first is not a selfish way of behavior, but one that allows you to live that life of love. However, it's highly probable that you never got the instruction manual explaining exactly how to accomplish this. Possibly your family - and it may have been a loving family - considered loving the self an act of selfishness. Or perhaps the members of your family simply didn't practice loving the self, and of course, what you didn't see - what was not shown to you - while you were growing up, meant that you just didn't learn how to apply it to yourself. The closer you are able to move towards loving yourself, the closer you will be to living a life of love - quite independently of whether you are in a love relationship or not. A life of love can be lived with or without a partnership, because a life of love implies that you know that it all begins with you by loving the self. The more clearly you understand how to love yourself, the more clearly you will see that it is very hard - if not impossible - to love others in ways that are unrelated to fulfilling any of your needs. Loving yourself first is - for so many of us - one of the hardest things we will ever learn how to do. But know this: the benefits affect you in every particle of your being - body, mind, and soul - and are greater than you will ever be able to imagine.

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is The Tao of Spiritual Partnership, so named for another one of my books. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

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