Supporting Your Ego With Your Brothers

Let's say I'm a busy lawyer. My practice is doing well, and therefore financially I'm secure. Furthermore, I do regular pro bono work, so in the department of feeling good about myself, I'm also secure. My relationship with my spouse is doing reasonably well, perhaps better than many others, so on the emotional front, I feel that life is good, and perhaps my son has been accepted at the London School of Economics and my daughter is planning on a Ph.D. in electrical engineering at MIT, so again, on the level of pride, I'm doing well.

Let's think about that a bit. As I feel financially secure, how much of that has to do with the actual funds in my portfolio or accounts, and how much of it with the fact that I occasionally compare myself to my lesser brethren who toil at their jobs, but reap little benefit? Could we (could I) say that they don't work as hard? Or perhaps they did not prepare as well while they were studying in order to get into their profession. Or perhaps their networking skills aren't as finely-tuned as mine.

And the pro bono work I do, actually benefits me in more than one way: not only do I get to feel good about myself because I do such work for those who could not otherwise afford my expertise, but I get to see - occasionally - how the other half (or 75%) lives, and so feel even better about how I managed to get myself to where I am.

Lest you are turned off by this person I am portraying as being an individual who is very small-spirited, mean, and petty, let's at least admit that some portions of what I am relating, does indeed cross our minds on occasion.

The fact that my relationship with my spouse is doing reasonably well, is often also a measurement brought on by comparison. Isn't it true that my cousin's marriage is on the rocks? And didn't I hear the neighbours shouting at each other as they came home last night? What about the statistics in the press? I - we - are simply doing so much better than that ... even though our marriage actually leaves a lot to be desired.

What is at stake here is a question of how much my - and your - ego gets involved when you think of where others find themselves along this continuum of the various areas of your life as compared to you. Think of it: the people in your life may serve to make you feel better about yourself by virtue of their failings or at the very least, their lesser accomplishment or accumulation of any kind. Your ego grows in some fashion, thanks to this.

My purpose today is not to point the finger at anyone - or - if I am doing so, then I include myself in it. Rather, my purpose is to make all of us more conscious about how this happens. A quote from the 'Course in Miracles' says: you do not realize how much you have misused your brothers by seeing them as sources of ego support.

Also visit my new website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch:
 
Rewiring the Soul

Click here to download the first chapter.

To see the Table of Contents click here

Reviews From the Back Cover:

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, Director, Center for Sacred Theatre, Ashland, Oregon; author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre

"Rewiring the Soul is one the best introductions to the spiritual life I've ever read. Not esoteric but real-world & practical. The implications are profound." Peter Shepherd; Founder Trans4mind.com; author: Daring To Be Yourself 

"The human being's directory to the soul. A breakthrough for those seeking practical assistance, those of a more mystical bent & every soul awaiting discovery." Toni Petrinovich, Ph.D.; author: The Call: Awakening the Angelic Human

The Tao of Spiritual Partnership

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

Praise for The Tao of Spiritual Partnership

“All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come."
Chris Griscom: Spiritual Leader, Author (among others) of: Ecstasy is a New Frequency

“Eloquent and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion.” 
Robert Schwartz: Author of Your Soul’s Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born 


The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self 

My new book: The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self, is just out. Click here to download an excerpt. 
Here is a brief excerpt from the Introduction:

It is your right to live a life of love. It is your right to understand that loving yourself first is not a selfish way of behavior, but one that allows you to live that life of love. However, it's highly probable that you never got the instruction manual explaining exactly how to accomplish this. Possibly your family - and it may have been a loving family - considered loving the self an act of selfishness. Or perhaps the members of your family simply didn't practice loving the self, and of course, what you didn't see - what was not shown to you - while you were growing up, meant that you just didn't learn how to apply it to yourself. The closer you are able to move towards loving yourself, the closer you will be to living a life of love - quite independently of whether you are in a love relationship or not. A life of love can be lived with or without a partnership, because a life of love implies that you know that it all begins with you by loving the self. The more clearly you understand how to love yourself, the more clearly you will see that it is very hard - if not impossible - to love others in ways that are unrelated to fulfilling any of your needs. Loving yourself first is - for so many of us - one of the hardest things we will ever learn how to do. But know this: the benefits affect you in every particle of your being - body, mind, and soul - and are greater than you will ever be able to imagine.

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is The Tao of Spiritual Partnership, so named for another one of my books. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.