In order to get to the place I often refer to in these
articles, about gaining inner freedom and inner peace, at some point you have
to realize and assimilate that this is not something you do on Sundays, or on a
weekend workshop, or when you feel relaxed, or on a week-long retreat. This –
becoming conscious and staying conscious, is a full-time job. (Listen to my audio clip: Emotions:
Your Road to Inner Freedom).
Making Conscious Choices
That means that especially at the beginning you will
need to make the conscious choice of how much intention you will put into
paying attention to what it is you are thinking, feeling, doing, and saying.
Because if you don't make such a conscious choice, and begin to apply some
discipline in order to bring about this process, not much will happen.
Reminding Yourself At All Times
As this becomes more ingrained, more of a habit, you
will notice that it soon requires less of an effort. It begins to become
automatic.
Do you remember when you learned how to drive a car?
Wasn’t it confusing? Mind-boggling? The number of things you had to remember to
be aware of? The rear-view mirror, the clutch, the brake, the road, the side mirror, traffic all
around you, the dashboard indicators, and so on. It might have seemed almost
like a nightmare at the beginning, and even if it didn’t, it certainly took all of your attention. But only for
a time. It is something you now do without constantly needing to think about
it, and remind yourself about it.
And so it is with becoming conscious. You need to
continually remind yourself about paying attention to it. At the beginning
that is precisely what is required. You need to constantly remind yourself in
order to remain conscious, or to pull yourself back into consciousness, into
awareness.
Even if you have to resort to tricks such as putting
post-it notes up on your bathroom mirror and in the kitchen, or putting paper
clips in your pockets so that when you feel them, and ask yourself what they
are doing there, you remember to remember to remain conscious or to return to
consciousness. Some people put a small pebble in their change purse, others set
the alarm on their mobiles to vibrate once an hour, or set the kitchen timer in
a similar fashion, simply to use any method that works to help you remain
conscious, or if you've slipped back into blindness, to help you come back from
there.
Becoming
Responsible For Yourself
However, at the beginning, as you make a conscious
choice to follow this process, you will also begin to realize the absolute need
for you to decide to become totally responsible for yourself. (See also Claiming Responsibility For the Self). And in so doing, you
will realize that:
- It is not enough to go to a seminar and get
all revved up by a particularly inspirational speaker
- It
is not enough to read yet another book that makes you feel so wonderful
while you read it because it addresses all those issues that you so much
want to work on.
- It
is not enough to participate in yet another interactive workshop that
blows your mind because of how you feel when you are performing whatever
it is that the workshop is about.
- None of this is enough unless you also decide to take all these wonderful things that you are hearing, reading, and participating in, and make use of them throughout your day, every day, to the end of your life
The Road to Inner Freedom
Many - if not most - clients complain that when we
discuss methods by which they can find greater inner freedom and inner peace,
it sounds like such hard work.
They tell me that it's all very well for me to talk about it, but that for them it is just going to take so long and be so hard.
They tell me that it's all very well for me to talk about it, but that for them it is just going to take so long and be so hard.
Building Muscles
In some ways they are right. None of this work is
possible without some dedication and discipline. I often liken it to developing
biceps and triceps in a weak or flaccid arm. In order to see some change, you
need to be lifting weights or going to the gym on a regular basis for about
three months. You have to be consistent, and you have to believe - during those
early days and weeks - that even though it appears that nothing is changing,
that something is indeed changing, and that you will soon see the desired
results.
Becoming
Aware of the Self
We talk about becoming aware of the self and its
reactions, making conscious choices at each step of the way that are good
for you on an energetic level (these may not be the easiest or most
immediately pleasing choices, but they are the choices that give you the
greatest sense of satisfaction with yourself), and choosing responsibility for
the self in all senses of the word.
When we get to this point, some clients then protest, indicating that there is no proof that the end result will give them what they are seeking (inner freedom and peace in their lives and relationships), other than the fact that I (and untold others) vouch for it due to the effect it has had in their own lives.
When we get to this point, some clients then protest, indicating that there is no proof that the end result will give them what they are seeking (inner freedom and peace in their lives and relationships), other than the fact that I (and untold others) vouch for it due to the effect it has had in their own lives.
Mindfulness:
Paying Attention to Your Intention
Hence it is wonderful to listen to yet another
person speaking the same language - this time couched in the terms of
mindfulness meditation (I've posted about this in the past and mentioned Jon
Kabat-Zinn). In this instance it is Daniel Siegel, MD, author of The Mindful Brain: Reflection and Attunement
in the Cultivation of Well-Being, whose podcast I listened to at the Brain
Science Podcast a wonderful site I link to on my own blog. In this podcast, he
speaks about mindfulness meditation and the beneficial effects it has on your
well-being ... and these benefits speak directly to the type of desired effects
I referred to earlier in this post, that cause some clients such difficulty.
Benefits
By paying attention to your intention over a period of
10 minutes every day, focusing on your breath, you begin to become aware of
your awareness, and in this process certain sections of the brain are
activated. (See also How Low Frequency Thoughts Erode the
Quality of Your Life). Studies show that this process ... a state of mind that you work
on with effort, becomes a trait, a long-term aspect of an
individual's way of being that then happens without effort, and whose
benefits cause you to:
- develop more capacity to
regulate your body (blood pressure and immune system improve, etc.)
- attune to yourself and others
in a deeper and meaningful way (you develop compassion)
- regulate your affective states
better (you approach, rather than withdraw from things)
- develop the ability to
extinguish fear
- develop
response flexibility … the capacity to pause before you act; you think
about your options and choose the most adaptive
- have more
insight into yourself
- develop greater
empathy
- have more
morality
- you have access
to your intuition, which is fundamentally your body’s wisdom
All of
these benefits - brought about as studies have proven - through mindfulness
meditation, are the same benefits that can be achieved through other
mechanisms, but that frequently take much longer, and require much more
conscious effort.
Choose to Internalize Becoming Aware
How you do
it is your business - even whether you do it, is your business - but these
are some of the best roads to inner freedom and peace.
Consciousness
is a full-time job. Until you realize this, until you internalize it, until you
decide to make this realization a central and fundamental part of your life, and
then act upon it, becoming conscious - and living a conscious life - will
elude you and slip from your grasp over and over again, just as wisps of fog
over the sea evanesce in the morning light.
***************
Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books (also in Spanish & German). My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is available globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.
Angefangen mit Rewiring the Soul - auf Deutsch: Deine Seele und Du, jetzt weltweit erhältlich als Taschenbuch oder Kindle E-Book (Blog hier), werden auch meine anderen Bücher in Zukunft auf Deutsch bei Amazon erhältlich sein.
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Bücher von Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (Deutsch) ... JETZT bei Amazon (Taschenbuch oder E-Book) erhältlich
DEINE SEELE UND DU
Libros por Gabriella Kortsch (español) ... ahora en todo el mundo en Amazon en versión bolsillo y Kindle
Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is The Tao of Spiritual Partnership, so named for another one of my books. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.
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