Who Makes Your Choices For You?

Do you always make your own choices, or are others involved in ways you don't even suspect? Read on.

You form part of group that is discussing a current political or religious issue. You have a very strong opinion about it, but notice that the opinion of most of the members of the group is diametrically opposed to yours, so you either don't voice it, or you vaguely join their side - at least for the duration of the talk. Who made your choice for you?

You have been invited to a very elegant dinner party. You decide to wear a specific dress or suit. But a voice in your head keeps telling you that the people you will probably run into there (as well as the hosts), tend to dress in such-and-such a way, and hence it would be better to wear something more along those lines. Who made your choice for you?

You are contemplating a job or even career change. You think about it, obviously, but you also discuss it with your nearest and dearest. They seem to think you would do better staying put. Your heart and gut are screaming at you to make the move, but since no one else seconds you, you don't make the change. Who made your choice for you?

You have a health dilemma ... a very, very serious one. You believe you should deal with it in a specific way (this is a true story about a friend). Your well-meaning friends, however, and your doctors hammer away at you, and finally you allow the latter to do what you had always said you never would do. After numerous ever-more mutilating surgeries and masses of chemotherapy, you succumb to the illness. Am I saying this person might not have died had he/she followed his own route? Of course not! I'm simply saying that even in situations such as these, our heart and gut often give us better information than others do - no matter who the others are. And in this instance, my friend might still have died (or not), but perhaps with a greater degree of dignity. Who made the choice for this person?

None of this has to do with you being a wimp. It's not associated with being cowardly or weak. It is, however, associated with having low self-esteem, low respect and consideration for the self, and hence a low-calibre decision-making process that in ideal circumstances would listen to others' opinions, but still base the decision on whatever that individual believes is right for him or herself as opposed to allowing the opinion of others to make up his/her mind.

Self-esteem and self-love are closely correlated. I discuss these topics in both of my books Rewiring the Soul (2011), and The Tao of Spiritual Partnership (2012), but due to the difficulty so many have with learning how to love the self, my new book (to be released fall 2013): The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self, discusses the matter in much greater detail and shows exactly how this can be learned, if one so desires.



Image by Ilana Richardson (Greece)

For more about how to consciously move in the direction that is yours alone and how this can move you to greater awareness, inner peace, well-being, success, and joy, have a look at my book Rewiring the Soul: Finding the Possible Self (paperback or Kindle).

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

Reviews From the Back Cover:

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, Director, Center for Sacred Theatre, Ashland, Oregon; author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre

"Rewiring the Soul is one the best introductions to the spiritual life I've ever read. Not esoteric but real-world & practical. The implications are profound." Peter Shepherd; Founder Trans4mind.com; author: Daring To Be Yourself 

"The human being's directory to the soul. A breakthrough for those seeking practical assistance, those of a more mystical bent & every soul awaiting discovery." Toni Petrinovich, Ph.D.; author: The Call: Awakening the Angelic Human

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The Tao of Spiritual Partnership: Background Music in Daily Life That Can Enhance Your Growth


The Tao of Spiritual Partnership is also available in print and Kindle formats.

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

From the Description on Amazon: More exciting than any other kind of relationship you have ever known, spiritual partnership is a path, a Tao, available to you so that you may transform your life. Spiritual partnership becomes background music to daily life allowing you to enhance the process of your growth and evolution.

This ground-breaking book addresses:

• relationship patterns that hold you back from a truly fulfilled life
• the strong connection between sexuality and spiritual partnership
• communication leading to true connection & lasting transformation of your relationship

It is precisely at the problematic crossroads so often encountered in relationships that we are offered the opportunity to create a new foundation based on mutual complementarity rather than need; a free relationship between two people who want to be together, rather than two people who need to be together. Needing another, we are told, is the measure of love, but for a fully conscious individual nothing could be further from the truth. And therein lies part of the secret and healing power of spiritual partnerships. 

Praise for The Tao of Spiritual Partnership 

“All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come." 
Chris Griscom: Spiritual Leader, Author 

“Eloquently and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion.” 
Robert Schwartz: Author of Your Soul’s Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born 

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The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self

My new book: The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self, is due out later this year. Here is a brief excerpt from the Introduction:

It is your right to live a life of love. It is your right to understand that loving yourself first is not a selfish way of behavior, but one that allows you to live that life of love. However, it's highly probable that you never got the instruction manual explaining exactly how to accomplish this. Possibly your family - and it may have been a loving family - considered loving the self an act of selfishness. Or perhaps the members of your family simply didn't practice loving the self, and of course, what you didn't see - what was not shown to you - while you were growing up, meant that you just didn't learn how to apply it to yourself. The closer you are able to move towards loving yourself, the closer you will be to living a life of love - quite independently of whether you are in a love relationship or not. A life of love can be lived with or without a partnership, because a life of love implies that you know that it all begins with you by loving the self. The more clearly you understand how to love yourself, the more clearly you will see that it is very hard - if not impossible - to love others in ways that are unrelated to fulfilling any of your needs. Loving yourself first is - for so many of us - one of the hardest things we will ever learn how to do. But know this: the benefits affect you in every particle of your being - body, mind, and soul - and are greater than you will ever be able to imagine.

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is The Tao of Spiritual Partnership, so named for my new book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.