Have you ever noticed that when you are not in the
best of moods, or when you are upset or resentful or angry about something, you
seem to find more people who actually
create even more of those feelings in you? Almost as though a tuning fork were
set to ensure that those people with negative feelings that exactly match yours
cross your path that day at exactly the same time as you are there! As a matter
of fact, when I was younger this happened at a certain point with such
frequency that I deliberately started paying attention to it. It had grabbed,
you might say, my attention, because it was happening too often to be put down
to mere coincidence. Was, I asked
myself, the universe playing with me?
As I became aware of all of this, I also began
noticing that when I was in a good place inside, I seemed to bring more people
with that kind of mood, or inner
vibration into my sphere during that day. It also seemed to be a lot more
difficult to make me lose my cool, to become upset about anything, or to engage
in hostility or negativity.
So, I thought, this must mean that depending on how I
feel, and perhaps on what I emanate, just by virtue of what can be seen or felt
by those who are in my vicinity, I attract a whole different kind of experience
or person into my life. Therefore it appeared not to be a bad idea to decide
that I live in a friendly universe, a
term I have borrowed from Einstein and Wayne
Dyer. A universe in which it is just as
easy to run into friendly people as it is to run into angry people, just as easy to run into helpful people
as it is to run into impatient and unkind people, just as easy to run into positive and joyful people, as it is to
run into negative and unhappy people.
And although the connection is wide, as I revisited
this topic in order to write today's article, that immediately made me think of
a book titled Brain Rules by
neuroscientist John Medina, who after writing many chapters jam-packed with
near clinical detail about the brain and how to best understand how it works
and how to deal with it, expresses wonder and amazement near the end of the
book describing his young son one day as he accompanies him to his nursery
school. They were walking a short distance that would have taken Medina father
a few minutes to cover, but because he was escorting the small child, it took
much longer. But mainly it took so long - and this was the source of the
father's wonder - because his son stopped at every blade of grass, as if to
observe its growth, or to examine how it had emerged from a minute crack in the
cement of the sidewalk, or to become totally absorbed in the inspection of an
ant as it shouldered its load of a bread crumb on its way to the underground
anthill, following a long line of its brethren. He - Medina - realized his
child was much more present than he himself tended to be, and although he does
not use the term mindfulness in his
book, I do, because I believe that is what a child does, and what we adults
tend not to do, and hence find it so much harder to decide that we are living
in a friendly universe.
As we arise in the morning, we already make decisions
about the day in question:
·
oh
no, it's raining
·
oh
no, it's not raining
·
oh
no, it's so cold
oh no, it's so hot
And the problem is not the condition of the weather,
but our inner resistance to what is.
Krishnamurti said that the secret to his happiness was not minding what happens, and I have repeated this frequently in
workshops, talks and other articles, because I truly believe it contains
endless wisdom. It does not mean
becoming apathetic, but it does mean
accepting what is, finding inner balance and peace with regards to that, and only then deciding what needs to be done
about it, rather than embarking on reactions and actions based on a feeling of
resistance to what is.
So if we embark on our day with an attitude of
acceptance, and then go to the wonder and joy of the child, perhaps we will
hear the brilliant birdsong as we open the window, or see the ray of sunshine
amidst the grey, as it attempts to slice a cloud in half. And as we do so, we
notice our inner energetic vibration being in a good place, and we are aware of
the fact, not only due to research in a multitude of disciplines, but also
because of how we feel on this more visceral, physical level, that our inner
mindset is also affecting the state of our cells, our very biology.
And so we progress throughout our day, looking for the
many reasons that the universe is indeed a friendly place, filled with events,
and sights, and people and moments that can quicken our heart with joy and
well-being … if only we decide.
You get to decide whether you live in a hostile or a
friendly universe. You can decide what each of the things that happen every day
mean. You get to decide whether your life is good or bad no matter how
it may look on the outside...remember what I've said so often about
Viktor Frankl or Nelson Mandela or the innumerous others who have gone through
great suffering, and yet have made a choice about how their life is going, and
especially how they are going to look at it, think
about it, and hence, feel about it, and react to it.
It's also true that the more you look for reasons to
believe that things are going against you, and that people don't like you or
accept you, the less you will be disappointed in your expectations...
And don't forget that your thoughts -
as molecular and cellular biology show us (see these posts on
that subject) really do become
things, so the manner in which you view your world and think
about it is of great importance.
As I've pointed out so frequently: you choose.
You can choose to wake up in the morning and be
grateful for the new day and new opportunities. You can choose to remember to
be grateful to five people every day about something that happened with them,
and to make a habit of this - without fail - in order to help keep your mind on
that instead of what you didn't like. You can choose to find something in what
you didn't like that is of value to you and your life, even if it is learning
how to choose not to react negatively in the face of adversity.
You choose.
So start choosing the way that is of use to you,
instead of the way that simply increments the negative; start choosing to live
in a friendly universe.
You choose.
Image: Amalfi Coast, Ravello, Italy
For more about being aware of your thoughts and habits and how that will enhance your life and promote a different future, as well as bringing you joy, greater inner peace and freedom, have a look at my book Rewiring the Soul: Finding the Possible Self
To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here
Reviews From the Back Cover:
A revelation of insight into the foundations of human suffering & transcendence. It not only lays out essential steps for inner freedom & joy but illuminates the way to true human potential. Dr. Kortsch is a spiritual master for our time. Paul Rademacher, Executive Director, The Monroe Institute; author: A Spiritual Hitchhiker's Guide to the Universe
"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, Director, Center for Sacred Theatre, Ashland, Oregon; author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre
"The instruction manual on rewiring the soul. An in-depth guide on life, love, spiritual evolution & our integration within the universe." Michael Habernig & April Hannah; Producers: The Path- The Afterlife & The Path 11 Documentaries
"Rewiring the Soul is one the best introductions to the spiritual life I've ever read. Not esoteric but real-world & practical. The implications are profound." Peter Shepherd; Founder Trans4mind.com; author: Daring To Be Yourself
"The human being's directory to the soul. A breakthrough for those seeking practical assistance, those of a more mystical bent & every soul awaiting discovery." Toni Petrinovich, Ph.D.; author: The Call: Awakening the Angelic Human
My new book The Tao of Spiritual Partnership is now also available in print and Kindle formats.
To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here
From the Description on Amazon: More exciting than any other kind of relationship you have ever known, spiritual partnership is a path, a Tao, available to you so that you may transform your life. Spiritual partnership becomes background music to daily life allowing you to enhance the process of your growth and evolution.
This ground-breaking book addresses:
• relationship patterns that hold you back from a truly fulfilled life
• the strong connection between sexuality and spiritual partnership
• communication leading to true connection & lasting transformation of your relationship
It is precisely at the problematic crossroads so often encountered in relationships that we are offered the opportunity to create a new foundation based on mutual complementarity rather than need; a free relationship between two people who want to be together, rather than two people who need to be together. Needing another, we are told, is the measure of love, but for a fully conscious individual nothing could be further from the truth. And therein lies part of the secret and healing power of spiritual partnerships.
Praise for The Tao of Spiritual Partnership
“All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come."
Chris Griscom: Spiritual Leader, Author
“Eloquently and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion.”
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"The Tao of Spiritual Partnership is a unique blend of wit and wisdom; Dr. Kortsch encourages us to take responsibility for our relationships, while recognizing and seizing the opportunities for our own personal spiritual growth."
William Buhlman, Author of Adventures Beyond the Body
Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is The Tao of Spiritual Partnership, so named for my new book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.
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