Recognizing the Vampires

Most of us have vampires in our lives. They may not drain us of our blood, but they do drain us of our energy and emotional well-being. Sometimes we fail to recognize them for what they are because they come in the guise of helpless - almost lovable - people that populate our lives. Occasionally we do recognize them but have no idea how to deal with them. And frequently we only recognize them when they have already spent a good amount of time draining us, as said, of our energy and emotional well-being.

Some easy-to-recognize examples are:

• the friend who calls every day to re-hash the latest drama in his/her life. You want to be a good friend, but you are beginning to dread the calls
• the person with whom you had an affair who threatens to harm themselves if you leave them
• a teen who tells you that unless you help with their homework, they will fail the class (this is not about 'normal' helping, but of going above and beyond because the teen is not choosing to take any initiative)
• the friend who wants to live life through you ... so they want to know every detail of your life and because you began this relationship by feeling flattered that someone wants to know so much about you, you complied, but now, months or even years later, you feel so drained, that you just want out, but of course that makes you feel guilty

Most of these scenarios have to do with unhealthy boundaries. And unhealthy boundaries are always linked to a lack of self-love. Recognizing the vampires is not so hard: Feel a tightening in your gut? A restriction in your chest? A queasiness? An uneasiness? These body sensations, as well as what follows, which is taken from the way we feel, gives you a hint that you might be in the presence of an emotional or energetic vampire. Remember: the way your body feels when you spend time with someone, and your feelings in the emotional sense of the word, are always indicators of something going on that you want to investigate. It may not always mean you are faced with a person of the type I have been describing, but it certainly warrants some careful consideration.

• Guilty (we feel guilty as we ask ourselves how we can possibly be feeling some of the things we are feeling, if this person is being so good to us or so helpful and hospitable.)
• Drained and sapped
• Tired and weak
• Unenthusiastic (or if we were enthusiastic earlier in the day, after a bit of time in their presence, our enthusiasm is gone)
• Pushed and pulled in directions you don’t want to go (ever heard of subliminal manipulation?)
• You may even feel befuddled, less clear in your head, as if you had been mildly drugged

 For much more about this topic, please read my article Emotional and Energetic Vampires (Note: you will need to sign up to gain access).

For much more about creating healthy boundaries, and about loving yourself, have a look at my book Rewiring the Soul: Finding the Possible Self, available at Amazon as a paperback or e-book for Kindle and all Kindle applications.

Click here to download the first chapter.

Reviews From the Back Cover:

A revelation of insight into the foundations of human suffering & transcendence. It not only lays out essential steps for inner freedom & joy but illuminates the way to true human potential. Dr. Kortsch is a spiritual master for our time. Paul Rademacher, Executive Director, The Monroe Institute; author: A Spiritual Hitchhiker's Guide to the Universe

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, Director, Center for Sacred Theatre, Ashland, Oregon; author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre

"The instruction manual on rewiring the soul. An in-depth guide on life, love, spiritual evolution & our integration within the universe." Michael Habernig & April Hannah; Producers: The Path- The Afterlife & The Path 11 Documentaries

"Rewiring the Soul is one the best introductions to the spiritual life I've ever read. Not esoteric but real-world & practical. The implications are profound." Peter Shepherd; Founder Trans4mind.com; author: Daring To Be Yourself

"The human being's directory to the soul. A breakthrough for those seeking practical assistance, those of a more mystical bent & every soul awaiting discovery." Toni Petrinovich, Ph.D.; author: The Call: Awakening the Angelic Human