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Thursday, July 5, 2012

Fragments That Have Authority Over You

Have you ever given some thought to why you react the way you do on certain occasions?
For example:
  • why do you feel intimidated by haughty maitre d's
  • why do you react coldly when you are told by your boss that something you have done needs rectification
  • why do you get upset when a store clerk does not come to help you immediately
  • why does your stomach tense when you need to ask your husband for money
  • why do you feel anxious when you are preparing a report despite the fact that you know you'll be able to complete it well before the deadline, and with ease, because you've done this type of report before
  • why do you feel insulted when the person accompanying you in the car ... your passenger ... but not necessarily your spouse, tells you to watch out for the car that is coming, even though you've already seen the car
These and many other examples I could mention are frequently the red flag of something that has authority over you, of fragments from your past that have authority over you.

Events and feelings connected to those events from your past may be in charge of parts of your life because you have not yet come to terms with whatever it was that happened. And coming to terms with something often implies forgiving someone from your past in order to disconnect yourself from the energetic connection you still have with the feelings that such an event evoked in you. Without the process of forgiving, you not only continue to feel unwanted emotions whenever you remember the past event, but, and this is even more important, you continue to react in ways that are no longer pertinent to your life, due to your emotional connection to that past event, even when you are not consciously aware of the past event.

See also:
So when you react coldly when your boss has some minor constructive criticism about something you have presented him with, it may be connected to the time your father criticized a beautiful painting you had just drawn for him when you were eight, telling you that lions did not really look like that, and that in Africa, skies could not have that impossible colour. When he said those thoughtless words to you, his young child, it hurt you so much, that to protect yourself, you covered up the hurt with coldness, to help you not to feel it the same way. This protective mechanism is now still in place, and may work against your best interests by your reaction with your well-meaning boss. Hence, we say, you are controlled by this fragment.

Being controlled by fragments from your past means several things:
  • you are not totally aware of everything that is going on, because these fragments cause you to react in ways that are not part of free choice, they happen because you are in the dark about them
  • hence you are not in control of your reactions (remember you can't control what happens to you, but you can absolutely choose how you react to events, but only if you are totally aware)
See also:
Frequently you can become aware of fragments having authority over you if you begin to pay attention to how you feel at all times, not only emotionally, but also physically. So if you notice a downward spiral in your feelings when certain things happen, you might be on to a clue about one of your fragments. Also, very particularly, you should notice when your solar plexus (stomach area) begins to clench or feel uncomfortable. That is always a clue that something is going on that is not right. It could be that someone is behaving with you in ways that are not acceptable, and that you need to check out your boundaries (also see: Finding it Hard to Love Yourself? Check Out Your Boundaries), or it could be that you are about to have a reaction to something that is the result of one of your fragments, and the reason your stomach is clenching, or your heart is pounding, is because it is directly connected to something that caused you great pain, or upset of some kind when you were younger.

Discovering these fragments and their - heretofore unknown - impact on your present life, will take you down the road to inner growth and above all, inner freedom.

Photo: Ibiza, Torre del Cabo

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