Have you ever noticed that when you are not in the
best of moods, or when you are upset or resentful or angry about something, you
seem to find more people who actually
create even more of those feelings in you? Almost as though a tuning fork were
set to ensure that those people with negative feelings that exactly match yours
cross your path that day at exactly the same time as you are there! As a matter
of fact, when I was younger this happened at a certain point with such
frequency that I deliberately started paying attention to it. It had grabbed,
you might say, my attention, because it was happening too often to be put down
to mere coincidence. Was, I asked
myself, the universe playing with me?
As I became aware of all of this, I also began
noticing that when I was in a good place inside, I seemed to bring more people
with that kind of mood, or inner
vibration into my sphere during that day. It also seemed to be a lot more
difficult to make me lose my cool, to become upset about anything, or to engage
in hostility or negativity.
So, I thought, this must mean that depending on how I
feel, and perhaps on what I emanate, just by virtue of what can be seen or felt
by those who are in my vicinity, I attract a whole different kind of experience
or person into my life. Therefore it appeared not to be a bad idea to decide
that I live in a friendly universe, a
term I have borrowed from Einstein and Wayne
Dyer. A universe in which it is just as
easy to run into friendly people as it is to run into angry people, just as easy to run into helpful people
as it is to run into impatient and unkind people, just as easy to run into positive and joyful people, as it is to
run into negative and unhappy people.
And although the connection is wide, as I revisited
this topic in order to write today's article, that immediately made me think of
a book titled Brain Rules by
neuroscientist John Medina, who after writing many chapters jam-packed with
near clinical detail about the brain and how to best understand how it works
and how to deal with it, expresses wonder and amazement near the end of the
book describing his young son one day as he accompanies him to his nursery
school. They were walking a short distance that would have taken Medina father
a few minutes to cover, but because he was escorting the small child, it took
much longer. But mainly it took so long - and this was the source of the
father's wonder - because his son stopped at every blade of grass, as if to
observe its growth, or to examine how it had emerged from a minute crack in the
cement of the sidewalk, or to become totally absorbed in the inspection of an
ant as it shouldered its load of a bread crumb on its way to the underground
anthill, following a long line of its brethren. He - Medina - realized his
child was much more present than he himself tended to be, and although he does
not use the term mindfulness in his
book, I do, because I believe that is what a child does, and what we adults
tend not to do, and hence find it so much harder to decide that we are living
in a friendly universe.
As we arise in the morning, we already make decisions
about the day in question:
-
oh
no, it's raining
- oh no, it's not raining
- oh no, it's so cold
- oh no, it's so hot
And the problem is not the condition of the weather,
but our inner resistance to what is.
Krishnamurti said that the secret to his happiness was not minding what happens, and I have repeated this frequently in
workshops, talks and other articles, because I truly believe it contains
endless wisdom. It does not mean
becoming apathetic, but it does mean
accepting what is, finding inner balance and peace with regards to that, and only then deciding what needs to be done
about it, rather than embarking on reactions and actions based on a feeling of
resistance to what is.
So if we embark on our day with an attitude of
acceptance, and then go to the wonder and joy of the child, perhaps we will
hear the brilliant birdsong as we open the window, or see the ray of sunshine
amidst the grey, as it attempts to slice a cloud in half. And as we do so, we
notice our inner energetic vibration being in a good place, and we are aware of
the fact, not only due to research in a multitude of disciplines, but also
because of how we feel on this more visceral, physical level, that our inner
mindset is also affecting the state of our cells, our very biology.
And so we progress throughout our day, looking for the
many reasons that the universe is indeed a friendly place, filled with events,
and sights, and people and moments that can quicken our heart with joy and
well-being … if only we decide.
You get to decide whether you live in a hostile or a
friendly universe. You can decide what each of the things that happen every day
mean. You get to decide whether your life is good or bad no matter how it may look on the outside...remember
what I've said so often about Viktor Frankl or Nelson Mandela or the innumerous
others who have gone through great suffering, and yet have made a choice about
how their life is going, and especially how they are going to look at it, think
about it, and hence, feel about it, and react to it.
It's also true that the more you look for reasons to
believe that things are going against you, and that people don't like you or
accept you, the less you will be disappointed in your expectations...
And don't forget that your thoughts - as
molecular and cellular biology show us (see these posts on
that subject) really do become things, so the
manner in which you view your world and think about it
is of great importance.
As I've pointed out so frequently: you choose.
You can choose to wake up in the morning and be
grateful for the new day and new opportunities. You can choose to remember to
be grateful to five people every day about something that happened with them,
and to make a habit of this - without fail - in order to help keep your mind on
that instead of what you didn't like. You can choose to find something in what
you didn't like that is of value to you and your life, even if it is learning
how to choose not to react negatively in the face of adversity.
You choose.
So start choosing the way that is of use to you,
instead of the way that simply increments the negative; start choosing to live
in a friendly universe.
You choose.
For much more about making choices, about inner well-being, about the self-transformational process - both in your outer life in the world, and in your inner life with your connection to your inner, divine self, have a look at my book Rewiring the Soul: Finding the Possible Self
To download the first chapter, click here
From the Description on Amazon: Ask anyone, whatever their circumstances, if their life is vibrant, fulfilling, harmonious and happy. An honest reply is likely to be 'no', because to answer a truthful 'yes' is no mean feat. Only to grow psychologically and emotionally is not enough. And only to grow spiritually is not enough either. All three dimensions need to be developed in order to realize your full potential. If you are willing to assume total responsibility for the self and to start what is an on-going journey, you will quickly begin to glimpse the first fruits of the ultimate goal: inner well-being, freedom, peace, harmony and joy. This book sets out the pathway to self-mastery and self-discovery and walking that pathway will be the most exciting adventure of your life.
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