"A revelation of insight into the foundations of human suffering & transcendence. It not only lays out essential steps for inner freedom and joy but illuminates the way to true human potential." Paul Rademacher, author: A Spiritual Hitchhiker's Guide to the Universe

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre

"Rewiring the Soul is one the best introductions to the spiritual life I've ever read. Not esoteric but real-world and practical. The implications are profound." Peter Shepherd, author: Daring To Be Yourself

Monday, February 20, 2012

What If There Is No One To Blame?

Life as a child was great ... I always found someone or something to blame for whatever was going wrong. My older brother had not let me come along to play with his friends, the girl down the street had broken my favorite doll, the weather had spoiled our picnic, my mother had scolded me harshly, I would tearfully tell my father when he returned at night, the 'bad' stove had made me burn my hand, the 'nasty' friend had not let me win the board game. As you can imagine, I had a lot to learn.

And learn I did! But in that learning, and in the realizing that the more you take on full responsibility not only for all you do, but also full responsibility for all you think, feel, say, and above all, for how you react to those things that happen, meant that I began to see life with totally different eyes.

And of course, doing that, means there is no one left to blame. No matter what happens, and no matter what another does.

That is ridiculous, you say.
  • The government and the financial system which it allowed for so many years has messed us up so much, that many of us are living on the brink of poverty. That is clearly the government's fault.
  • Or: my car was totalled in that accident yesterday when someone ran the red light, and that is clearly the other driver's fault.
  • Or: I've been diagnosed with breast cancer, and that is clearly the fault of my genes plus the environmental pollutants.
  • Or: I've been training for national qualification as an equestrian jumper, but my father has been so negative about it all, stressing me every time I go practise, that I didn't make the grade, and that is clearly my father's fault.

We could come up with any number of other examples, but what I wanted to show by using these in particular, is that even in cases where many of us might agree that it is so obviously not my fault, if something of this nature occurs, I would still say: but you must take full responsibility for how you react; for how you choose to react.

Because of course much of this is a question of seeing that there is always a choice. A choice of how much attention I pay to what is happening in the government, first at my community and local level, then provincial or state, and so on, and finally at the federal level. I also have choices about the kind of car insurance I have and what it covers, and while I don't have a choice about the genes I inherit, I do have a choice about how I influence those genes on the basis of much of the information that is coming out of cellular and molecular biology (and it is my choice to read about these things), not to mention what I allow into my 'environment', which includes not only what I breathe, eat and drink, but also how I live, how I manage stress, with whom I am surrounded, and so on. And finally, I always have choices about how I react to others' negativity. I even have choices about how much time I spend with people who are negative - even a father.

But while I stand by the last paragraph, I believe that much more important even than that, is the choice to always assume responsiblity for your own reactions. Find a place within where you gain equanimity and inner balance about whatever it is that is happening, and then, and only then, begin to decide what to do about it. Some things we can change. Others we can't change. But what we can do always, is to love the self so much, that our first priority is the recuperation of this inner balance. That is the first and the most gigantic step in not blaming and in accepting responsibility for yourself.

Take your life in your own hands, and what happens?
A terrible thing: no one to blame.
Erica Jong 

For much more about choosing your own reactions, about loving yourself (the book has an entire chapter dedicated to this subject), about being aware of your thoughts and feelings, as well as about choosing to seek your inner well-being above all, in order that you may have a ripple effect on all those who come in contact with you, have a look at my book Rewiring the Soul: Finding the Possible Self, available at Amazon.

Click here to download the first chapter.

Description of the Book:

Ask anyone, whatever their circumstances, if their life is vibrant, fulfilling, harmonious and happy. An honest reply is likely to be 'no', because to answer a truthful 'yes' is no mean feat. Only to grow psychologically and emotionally is not enough. And only to grow spiritually is not enough either. All three dimensions need to be developed in order to realize your full potential. If you are willing to assume total responsibility for the self and to start what is an on-going journey, you will quickly begin to glimpse the first fruits of the ultimate goal: inner well-being, freedom, peace, harmony and joy. This book sets out the pathway to self-mastery and self-discovery and walking that pathway will be the most exciting adventure of your life.

From the Reviews:

In Rewiring the Soul, Gabriella Kortsch shows us in very practical ways how to lead a soul-guided, soul-infused life. With the wisdom of one who has traveled far and learned much, Dr. Kortsch blazes a path for all who have the courage to follow. The rewards for walking that path are great: an understanding of why we are here; an expanded awareness of who we really are; a new or heightened sense of purpose and meaning; and a deeper appreciation of life's many blessings. Highly recommended.

ROBERT SCHWARTZ, author, Your Soul's Plan: Discovering the Real Meaning of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born

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