"A revelation of insight into the foundations of human suffering & transcendence. It not only lays out essential steps for inner freedom and joy but illuminates the way to true human potential." Paul Rademacher, author: A Spiritual Hitchhiker's Guide to the Universe

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre

"Rewiring the Soul is one the best introductions to the spiritual life I've ever read. Not esoteric but real-world and practical. The implications are profound." Peter Shepherd, author: Daring To Be Yourself

Friday, October 21, 2011

Listen To Your Gut!

Imagine I were one of your best friends. And I ring you up and say that I'm going through a really rough patch and need to talk to someone. And I tell you that you are such a good listener and that you give great advice. So could we please have dinner tomorrow night?

You actually have some rather fun plans for tomorrow. However, because I am your good friend, you agree to breaks those plans and see me. You suggest we meet at a restaurant we've been at together in the past at 8:30 pm the following evening.

The next day, at about six in the afternoon, I call you, and tell you that I just ran into Robert, and I remind you about how much I have always been attracted to him, and that he has invited me out to dinner tonight. I say: You don't mind, do you?

Now your mind is churning with thoughts. WHAT??? you think, yesterday you were falling apart and needed to speak to someone and so asked me for time, and you know I broke my own plans to accommodate you, and now you are blowing me off? But, as you are thinking these thoughts, you are also remembering that I am am your very good friend, and so now, the question is: how do you react to what I have just said to you? 

Let me interrupt this post here and explain that this hypothetical situation is one that I often pose to clients. I need to know what their reaction would be in this kind of a situation that happens - as I am confident you will agree - rather more frequently than we might like.

So: how do you react to my announcement that I am going to dinner with Robert and not with you?
(Please do think of your response - or remember the last time you were in a similar situation and how you reacted then - before reading on).

Here's the thing: many, many people respond that while they don't like it, they do in fact say that it's ok and that the other person may go ahead and have dinner with Robert.

So if this had been a test, those of you who answered the way many do, let me assure you that you failed miserably :-). But the reason you failed has to do with the fact that you have let yourself down.

Whenever I pose this hypothetical scenario, I then ask the client: do you not notice that when you are being blown off, and when you allow it, by not saying anything about it, that your gut clenches painfully?. And again, most will tell me - and I am confident that in your case it is also the same - that it does indeed clench painfully. And they will often tell me that this clenching is a well-known feeling.

Let me tell you that this clenching is a message from your body to you. You may also wish to read How Your Thoughts Change Your Body and You've Got Mail ... It's From Your Body. What the clenching is saying is that you need to address this situation. You need to say to the other person that what they are doing is not acceptable.

How you can go about doing this and what the other person's different responses may signify both about them and about you, depending on how you react to those responses, will form part of my next post here on this blog.

For much more about living consciously, about being aware of your thoughts and feelings, how you react to others and how you love yourself, as well as about choosing to seek your inner well-being above all, in order that you may have a ripple effect on all those who come in contact with you, get my book Rewiring the Soul: Finding the Possible Self, available at Amazon as a paperback or e-book for Kindle and all Kindle applications. Click here to download the first chapter.

A Review From the Back Cover:

"Rewiring the Soul is one the best introductions to the spiritual life I've ever read. Not esoteric but real-world and practical. Read it and Soul is no longer just a dogma, nor hypothesis, it is made real and as much a part of your being as your toes. We usually shut off our inner voice, yet by recognizing this aspect of ourselves we begin to discover our essential nature, our intuitive truth, and that becomes our loving guide. The author illustrates the limitations of living only as the mind's Ego, and demonstrates in practical terms how we can transcend this by awakening a conscious viewpoint, following the path of our intuition and feelings, no longer separated from our body and the reality around us, and integrating at last our Soul's inner guidance and wellspring of love. The implications are profound."

PETER SHEPHERD; Founder Trans4mind - www.trans4mind.com; author, Daring To Be Yourself

Photo Credit: Salvatore Vuono

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