"A revelation of insight into the foundations of human suffering & transcendence. It not only lays out essential steps for inner freedom and joy but illuminates the way to true human potential." Paul Rademacher, author: A Spiritual Hitchhiker's Guide to the Universe

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre

"Rewiring the Soul is one the best introductions to the spiritual life I've ever read. Not esoteric but real-world and practical. The implications are profound." Peter Shepherd, author: Daring To Be Yourself

Monday, October 10, 2011

3 Tips For Greater Inner Peace

Without the requisites of inner peace and freedom it will be very difficult to live a good life. Money, position, looks, and all the other trappings our society values are wonderful, but if inner peace and freedom aren't part of the equation, the others will never be enough.

So here are some tips:
  • Practice being conscious and aware: as simple as it sounds, it is nevertheless something most people don't do. Or at least, they only do it occasionally when it happens - so to say - all by itself. What I mean by being conscious and aware is simply that as things happen to you in your life, during the course of your weeks, your days, your hours and your minutes, you remain aware of yourself at all time.
    1. If someone is angy at you, be fully aware of your inner reaction. If you are, you will not go reactive, i.e., you will not have a blind reaction in face of the buttons that that person pushed.
    2. If someone praises you, be fully aware of your inner reaction. If you are, you will recognize that the praise has made you feel good. You may feel warmth towards the other person. But you will also be able to understand that this good feeling should not depend on the other person praising you, but should come from you for you - if not all the time, then at least a good portion of the time.
    3. If you are given a diagnosis of cancer or some other dread disease, be fully aware of your inner reaction. If you are, you will not go reaction, i.e., you will not have a blind reaction in the face of the potential fear and worry that the diagnosis provoked in you. Yes, you will recognize those feelings, but you will not allow them to take over your inner state because you will remain aware and put the next tips into practice.
  • Take full responsibility for yourself in all ways: Assuming this responsibility means that you are fully in agreement with the fact that you are indeed, responsible for all your thoughts, feelings, words, acts and reactions, then you will wish to continually remain in a place of awareness. As long as you are not aware and conscious of all that occurs in your world, you will not be able to take on this responsibility!
    1. In the example of someone being angry at you, you will assume responsibility for your reaction to the other person's anger, their words, their action. Careful: you are not making yourself responsible for their words, actions, etc., nor are you making yourself responsible for making them understand how wrong (or one-sided, or prejudiced or unfair) their behaviour is, nor are you making yourself responsible for how to change them. You are only responsible for yourself in all these matters. For yourself and how you react.
    2. In the example of being praised, you again will assume responsibility for your reaction to the praise. Perhaps you will take on board the fact that you crave such praise and seek it under any circumstance. That would be the time to begin to make yourself repsonsible for giving yourself praise from the inside instead of needing it form the outside, and therefore that would be the place to begin to show yourself more love and acceptance.
    3. In the example about being given a cancer diagnosis, you would again assume responsibility for your reactions to the diagnosis. You would recognize all the difficult and negative feelings. You would acknowledge them. You might need to allow yourself some time to get used to the actual fact of whatever it was you were told in the diagnosis in order to then figure out which kind of reaction best serves you; best demonstrates to yourself that you love yourself. Consider: how would you show a small child who has just skinned his knee and comes running to you for comfort, that he/she is loved? By going on and on about how terrible it is to skin the knee and to bleed and that the pain will last a long time and that he was careless in falling in the first place? No! Of course not. You would give him a hug, kiss him, take him up on your lap and comfort him with love. And so you can do with yourself. Your reaction plays an enormous role in how your inner well-being plays itself out --- in all senses of the word.
  • Recognize that in the face of any situation at all you always have a choice: This point cannot be stressed enough. Always having a choice means you need not react the way you initially do. It means you can cast your eye about for alternatives that will serve your inner well-being better. In all of the above examples, it is by virtue of choice, that the reaction becomes a reaction that serves you as opposed to one that simply makes it worse.

For much more information about loving the self, inner freedom and peace, inner well-being, responsibility and choice, please see my bestselling book on Amazon: Rewiring the Soul: Finding the Possible Self, available in paperback and e-book for Kindle and all Kindle applications. Click here to download the first chapter.

Description from Amazon:

Ask anyone, whatever their circumstances, if their life is vibrant, fulfilling, harmonious and happy. An honest reply is likely to be 'no', because to answer a truthful 'yes' is no mean feat. Only to grow psychologically and emotionally is not enough. And only to grow spiritually is not enough either. All three dimensions need to be developed in order to realize your full potential. If you are willing to assume total responsibility for the self and to start what is an on-going journey, you will quickly begin to glimpse the first fruits of the ultimate goal: inner well-being, freedom, peace, harmony and joy. This book sets out the pathway to self-mastery and self-discovery and walking that pathway will be the most exciting adventure of your life.

'Rewiring the Soul' provides a user-friendly roadmap for personal transformation. Using conversational style, it guides the reader to an understanding of life's problems and how they can be resolved, deliberately including the reader's connection to his own soul and spiritual growth. Based on common sense and the author's work as an integral psychotherapist as well as lessons gleaned from teaching and personal experiences, all interwoven with current findings from neuroscience, positive psychology, quantum physics and Buddhism, 'Rewiring the Soul' signposts the path to resolving everyday life and its problems while converging with the inner quest for connection with the soul. This process allows life to take on a revolutionary new meaning: resolving personal and interpersonal issues while keeping the inner connection to the soul in mind leads to unprecedented growth that is simply not possible if psycho-emotional matters and spiritual concerns are not combined.

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