"A revelation of insight into the foundations of human suffering & transcendence. It not only lays out essential steps for inner freedom and joy but illuminates the way to true human potential." Paul Rademacher, author: A Spiritual Hitchhiker's Guide to the Universe

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre

"Rewiring the Soul is one the best introductions to the spiritual life I've ever read. Not esoteric but real-world and practical. The implications are profound." Peter Shepherd, author: Daring To Be Yourself

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Are You Recognizing Love?

Recognizing love - and how love shows its face - applies not only to our partners or spouses, but also to other members of the extended family, and certainly also friends.

How do we normally recognize love? People tell us that they love us. They do lovely things for us. They make us feel good. They are kind, considerate; in short, they are loving. And you are probably thinking: I sure did not need to read this post in order to find that out!

Bear with me. You know that someone loves you, i.e., you recognize the love because what they do resonates with what you consider to be loving. However, when they don't do this, or no longer do this, then you tend to consider that they do not love you.

But in the instance of them not doing things that resonate with what you consider to be loving, could it not be that the two of you simply speak different languages of what love is? And how love is represented? And how love shows its face? Take, for instance, an adult daughter who does not hug her parents very much, nor does she express her feelings for them continually, but she is constantly bringing them dishes she cooks for their freezer, so that they no longer need to cook their own meals. Or take, as another example, a friend who is always late for appointments with you, but is, in fact, the only one of your friends you can really trust to tell you the truth about yourself. What about the husband who finds it enormously hard to publicly express any kind of affection for you, and yet is always doing all in his power to ensure your comfort and material ease?

Examples abound, and the point I particularly want to get across, is the fact that our expectations of love do not necessarily coincide with the love we receive, and yet, if we are open to it, that does not mean that we are not receiving love, simply that we must learn to recognize it in this other format.

When you learn the English word for butter, and I am German, in which case the word is Butter, I easily recognize it. But then if another person learns the word in Spanish where it is mantequilla or in French where it is buerre, it may be harder to recognize for what it is. Analogically, a similar thing happens in our differing conceptions of how to show love. So let's learn to recognize that another may show as much love as we do, but in ways that are not our ways. That does not make it less worthy, nor does it mean we are loved in a less valuable way.

How are you reognizing love in your life today?

For more information about love and loving and relationships, get my book Rewiring the Soul: Finding the Possible Self, available in paperback and e-book for Kindle format. Click here to download the first chapter.

From the Reviews:

In Rewiring the Soul, Gabriella Kortsch shows us in very practical ways how to lead a soul-guided, soul-infused life. With the wisdom of one who has traveled far and learned much, Dr. Kortsch blazes a path for all who have the courage to follow. The rewards for walking that path are great: an understanding of why we are here; an expanded awareness of who we really are; a new or heightened sense of purpose and meaning; and a deeper appreciation of life's many blessings. Highly recommended.

ROBERT SCHWARTZ, author, Your Soul's Plan: Discovering the Real Meaning of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born

Photo: Temple of Aphrodite in the ancient Aphrodisias, located near the town of Geyre in Turkey

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