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Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Unfinished Business You Can't Afford Not to Finish

Do you have any idea what the negative inside of you does to you?

It can affect your physical health, creating such problems as high blood pressure, unhealthy cholesterol levels, stress, accelerated heart rate, all of which can eventually lead you to diseases of many kinds.

So the negative inside of you is something you need to get a handle on. More than anything, it would be very helpful if you could begin to realize that you literally cannot afford the luxury of having any unfinished business in your life. In order to start the process of eliminating it from your life, you need to become aware of how much it pulls you into the past. By pulling you into the past, it pulls you back into the low energy associated with the negativity of whatever the unfinished business is (see also my article: Cellular Responsibility: Getting Your Power Back).

What does unfinished business look like? Unfinished business is typically one or more of the following:
  • anger
  • resentment
  • hurt
  • guilt
  • shame
  • anxiety
  • depression
What is the quickest way to deal with it? Forgiving.

Here is a three-pronged quote from the above-cited article:
  • Recognize that not forgiving holds parts of you in the past
  • Understand that forgiving does not mean you condone what was done, nor does it mean you now need to have a wonderful relationship with that person … you may need to move on, but by forgiving, the hold that the event had over you, will be gone.
  • Forgiving also does not mean forgetting – but it does mean, removing the charge from the memory
Forgive the past and it will no long own you. Forgive and you will be free.

Photo: Pachula Lake, India


  1. Don't you believe that true forgiving does mean forgetting?? I know how hard it is to forget, but, by doing so you help to free up those negative spaces...I don't mean to condone...but, once forgotten you no longer are stuck in the past and are truly living in the now....moving forward to more positive thoughts and spaces in the soul. Just a thought!

  2. Hi Marian, yes, I believe that sometimes you do forget after having forgiven, but I also believe the whole point of forgiving is to be able to remember WITHOUT the energetic charge that still remains when you have not forgiven, because the pain continues to be there.

    So the important thing is to forgive, and if you truly have, then you can remember with no more pain or hurt or bitterness or resentment. There is an article up on my website (not this blog) called "Can You Forgive?" that goes into this with more detail: http://www.advancedpersonaltherapy.com/articles-by-gabriella-kortsch-therapist/articles-by-gabriella-kortsch-therapist.htm

  3. Gabriella, this is so true.
    But what if the one that needs to forgive is someone other than oneself. No matter what you try to do to help them does not help as they are not prepared to let go, forgive and get along with life.
    How can you help someone who does not wish to be helped? You can see clearly that this is what needs to be done, but they do not want to see. How does one help?

  4. Hi Parminder ... good to see you here!

    When someone is not yet prepared to let go, to forgive, all you can do is let them know that if they want your support, you are there for them. Period. They have to find their own way. In other words, they have to come to a place where they themselves realize that forgiving would be a good road to travel, and only then can you actually show them how.

    We all have a time that is right to learn something new, to accept something, to understand something. Have you never read a book and thought it was good, perhaps even gained some valuable insights, but then for some reason, several months or years later you take another look, and simply can't understand why you did not see or realize such-and-such the first time you read it.

    Now - almost miraculously - you understand something that was veiled at the first reading. So it may be with your friend who is not yet ready to hear your words.

    There is a wonderful Spanish idiomatic expression which is "dale tiempo al tiempo" and it means: give time to time. Give your friend some time. And in the meantime stand by. Just in case.