"A revelation of insight into the foundations of human suffering & transcendence. It not only lays out essential steps for inner freedom and joy but illuminates the way to true human potential." Paul Rademacher, author: A Spiritual Hitchhiker's Guide to the Universe

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre

"Rewiring the Soul is one the best introductions to the spiritual life I've ever read. Not esoteric but real-world and practical. The implications are profound." Peter Shepherd, author: Daring To Be Yourself

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Being a Victim or Choosing Freedom

Symbol of Yin Yang. Photo Credit

It's just the way I am.
My husband/boyfriend/partner always makes me so sad.
My wife/girlfriend/partner always makes me so mad.
When it rains I get so depressed.
When they play "our" song on the radio, I feel so nostalgic.
When my boss gets stressed he yells at me and I resent him so much for it.
They cooked my steak too much, but I don't like to make a fuss, so I had to eat this really tough piece of meat for lunch and now I have indigestion.

My friend stood me up for dinner the other day because some guy she really likes asked her out in the last minute. I'm really happy for her, but I don't think it's right she left me high and dry with nothing to do on a Saturday evening.

Sound familiar? Recognize any of these tunes?

So if you have been reading some of the posts on this blog, you will have realized that in all of the above situations, no matter what the external event, you can choose to see yourself as a victim of circumstance, or you can choose to see other alternatives of action, thought, or feeling, and in so doing, choose freedom. It is freedom, because you no longer have a blind reaction to the external event, but deliberately choose how to react to a given situation.
Choosing to react from a number of different alternatives means you have a choice about the outcome inside of you, and you always have a choice.

See also the following articles from my website and posts from this blog regarding making choicess:


  1. For my childhood, I was a victim. I didn't know any other way to be. It was what my mother was. It was what my father was. My father took his victimhood to the next level and became an abuser.
    As an adult, I choose freedom.

  2. Hi Patricia,

    You broke the cycle ... such a wonderful choice to have made!