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It's just the way I am.
My husband/boyfriend/partner always makes me so sad.
My wife/girlfriend/partner always makes me so mad.
When it rains I get so depressed.
When they play "our" song on the radio, I feel so nostalgic.
When my boss gets stressed he yells at me and I resent him so much for it.
They cooked my steak too much, but I don't like to make a fuss, so I had to eat this really tough piece of meat for lunch and now I have indigestion.
My friend stood me up for dinner the other day because some guy she really likes asked her out in the last minute. I'm really happy for her, but I don't think it's right she left me high and dry with nothing to do on a Saturday evening.
Sound familiar? Recognize any of these tunes?
So if you have been reading some of the posts on this blog, you will have realized that in all of the above situations, no matter what the external event, you can choose to see yourself as a victim of circumstance, or you can choose to see other alternatives of action, thought, or feeling, and in so doing, choose freedom. It is freedom, because you no longer have a blind reaction to the external event, but deliberately choose how to react to a given situation.
Choosing to react from a number of different alternatives means you have a choice about the outcome inside of you, and you always have a choice.
See also the following articles from my website and posts from this blog regarding making choicess:
- my February 2006 Newsletter - Making Choices: Taking Responsibility For Our Lives
- my December 2006 Newsletter - Gratitude, Choice, and the "Why Did This Happen to Me?" Syndrome
- How Low Frequency Thoughts Erode the Quality of Your Life
- Alan Johnston Freed: How Did He Survive?
- How Cilantro in Cancun, Soft Contact Lenses in Miami, Construction Noise and Strange-Smelling Trees in Spain Caused My World to Change
- Don’t Let An Old Person Move In
- Relationship Pain
- It’s Not Necessarily a Question of a Lot of Hard Work…
- Book Review 2 - Happiness Is A Choice
- Enthusiasm and Depression Can't Live in the Same Place
- Anonymous Reader and Relationship Woes
- Choosing To Wallow in Relationship Pain?
- So What Happens If I WANT To Stay Angry???
- Use a Rainy Day As An Exercise To Elevate Your Low Mood
For my childhood, I was a victim. I didn't know any other way to be. It was what my mother was. It was what my father was. My father took his victimhood to the next level and became an abuser.
ReplyDeleteAs an adult, I choose freedom.
Hi Patricia,
ReplyDeleteYou broke the cycle ... such a wonderful choice to have made!
Gabriella