"A revelation of insight into the foundations of human suffering & transcendence. It not only lays out essential steps for inner freedom and joy but illuminates the way to true human potential." Paul Rademacher, author: A Spiritual Hitchhiker's Guide to the Universe

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre

"Rewiring the Soul is one the best introductions to the spiritual life I've ever read. Not esoteric but real-world and practical. The implications are profound." Peter Shepherd, author: Daring To Be Yourself

Friday, June 15, 2007

Become Independent of the Good Opinion of Other People

Cancun, Mexico. Photo Credit

Can you imagine the kind of inner freedom you might have if you did not feel that you needed to have the good opinion of other people?

You might answer that you don’t need other people’s good opinion, only that of your family, friends, and colleagues, and that it’s quite logical to want their good opinion. You know, in the way we normally look at things, that actually appears to be true, but looking at it from the point of view of inner freedom, it’s not true at all.

As long as you need the good opinion of other people, you not only are not free to behave in the ways you believe are correct, but you are also not free to be yourself. So that means that you are constantly behaving in ways that put you into a strait-jacket – even if it is a very loose, and nearly comfortable one. But it’s still a strait-jacket, because your behavior is being dictated by what you think it should be, rather than by what you want it to be.

I’m not talking about laws, and politeness, and general consideration with other people. I’m talking about trying to make sure that others will have a good opinion of you, rather than trying to make sure that however you behave has to do with your inner self. (See also my May 2007 Newsletter: Tending Your Inner Garden). You inner self will feel stunted if you act out of a desire to get others’ good opinion. You inner self may make itself noticeable physically, perhaps in one of your chakras, for example, in your solar plexus, by giving you a tight, knotted sensation there, when you act in ways that are meant for the outer world rather than acting in accordance with your true self.

The phrase that is the title of this particular post comes again from one of my favorites: Wayne Dyer. Think about it. When you need the good opinion of others for your world to be right, something is out of balance. It literally means that depending on whether you have that good opinion or not, you may or may not feel good. Should feeling good depend on something external to you?

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