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Monday, March 13, 2017

The Blows Life Deals


When life deals you blows - maybe just an occasional one, or perhaps a series of hard blows, like boulders crashing down a mountain during the rainy season, one after the other - if you have nothing in place that gives you shelter, you may be in for a much harder time than you are able to manage.

In the terms I am referring to here, shelter means inner strength, inner wherewithal, pathways that you have forged over a lifetime of dealing with other blows and learning that they can not be assuaged with outer distractions, but that they need inner resources.

Inner resources can be come by with practice. It doesn't have to necessarily be hard to acquire them. But they all require that you look at yourself with great honesty. They require that you do not pretend to yourself that whatever is happening is so due to another's fault. Of course another may have done something very hurtful or damaging, but whoever carries the onus of the situation, the real point is, what are you going to do about it, so that you can live your life from now on (the moment of the blow) and move forward. And blaming someone isn't going to help you in that endeavour.

If a boulder slams down a mountain-side and partially crushes your car, but you manage to escape unscathed, what is the point of blaming your predicament on the weather, or the mountain, or the circumstances? No matter how many times you repeat the story to anyone who will listen, the facts don't change. You will have to get on with it, hopefully you have car insurance that doesn't make nasty noises about 'acts of God', and figure out how to get down from that mountain.

In other areas of your life, it's a bit of the same. People who may hurt you are making their own choices. You can't make those (or future) choices for them. But you can make your own choices. And herein lies the challenge to begin to accrue inner resources. This is a choice you can make every single time something occurs in your life that is a blow - large or small. You can determine to learn from it. You can determine to shore up those inner resources by practicing a bit more every day (even on those days - and hopefully there are many - when no blows fall).

Practicing tennis only on the days he plays international tournaments, would not take Rafa Nadal very far. Practicing every day - simply to strengthen his 'game' - means that on the day of the tournament, he is not only in form to play the match well, but may have upped his game thanks to all the practice.

So it is with us. If we want to have strength when we most need it - when the blows rain down on us - we need to have practiced long before any of those blows fell. Such practice will stand you in good stead - not to mention what it might do for others who observe you, and decide to model portions of their own life on yours. As they say ... shine a light ...

So what are these inner resources? What I have written about ceaselessly on this blog as well as in all my books, workshops, conferences, and of course, with the clients that come to my private practice:
  • practice mindfulness every day
  • practice being aware and conscious every day
  • recognize that your inner peace comes from there
  • practice compassion & loving kindness
  • choose to be responsible for all you think, feel, say and do, as well as how you react at any time
  • love yourself
  • take very good care of yourself
  • forgive, and then forgive again
  • make good choices
  • be responsible for your own happiness
  • observe your inner self-dialogue and improve it as needed
All of this is covered in my books. All of this can be - if you so choose - very straightforward. Remember: much of it depends on your intention and then on the attention that you pay to said intention. Choose well. Choose now.

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Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books (also in Spanish & German). My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is available globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.


Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English). Available globally in paperback or Kindle e-book versions


Bücher von Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (Deutsch) ... JETZT bei Amazon (Taschenbuch oder E-Book) erhältlich 
DEINE SEELE UND DU
  

Angefangen mit Rewiring the Soul - auf Deutsch: Deine Seele und Du, jetzt weltweit erhältlich als Taschenbuch oder Kindle E-Book (Blog hier), werden auch meine anderen Bücher in Zukunft auf Deutsch bei Amazon erhältlich sein.

Libros por Gabriella Kortsch (español) ... ahora en todo el mundo en Amazon en versión bolsillo y Kindle



Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is The Tao of Spiritual Partnership, so named for another one of my books. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed. 

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