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"A revelation of insight into the foundations of human suffering & transcendence. It not only lays out essential steps for inner freedom and joy but illuminates the way to true human potential." Paul Rademacher, author: A Spiritual Hitchhiker's Guide to the Universe

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre

"Rewiring the Soul is one the best introductions to the spiritual life I've ever read. Not esoteric but real-world and practical. The implications are profound." Peter Shepherd, author: Daring To Be Yourself

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Seeing What You Might Be


Years ago, in the late 70’s, I chanced across Wayne Dyer’s book Your Erroneous Zones. I was in my twenties, and when I read the last chapter of that book, a chapter that shows a person free of erroneous zones, i.e., a person who is in such a good place inside of him or herself, that he has taken total responsibility for his own well-being, makes conscious choices, and is very aware of him or herself, I asked myself how it could be possible to get to that place. I yearned to get there. And I took the description Dyer offered of such a person as a model to follow. And because I had a model to follow, I was able to grow into that direction. (And of course it wasn't just having the model, it was also determining to actually do something about it, so self-initiative and some kind of discipline also form part of it).

Abraham Maslow and his hierarchy of needs gives another model to follow (which Dyer in fact based much of his early thought on). The self-actualizing individual at the top of Maslow's pyramid, is an individual who indeed gives us something to think about … how many of us are in fact there, or even moving towards that? And if not, why not? Frequently, in particular because of the way our school system works, many of us are not in that place simply because we don't know it exists...

There was another book in my life that was conducive to showing me what I could become, and I didn't chance across this one until I saw it in a bookstore in Geneva in May of 1989, now in my thirties. I had done what I'd like to call much of the psychological work, perhaps less of the spiritual work, until I saw what could be in Gary Zukav's second book The Seat of the Soul. Again, it gave me an excellent road map. This one gave directions towards similar goals as the Dyer book mentioned above, but it focused on the spiritual aspect of moving towards the inner freedom and well-being referred to earlier; it focused much more clearly on the growth of the soul, as opposed to merely the growth of the psyche.

So what this is really about is the fact that growth can sometimes be infinitely accelerated if we see what is possible; if we see what we can become.

But this goes way beyond the little boy who wishes to emulate his policeman or fireman father, or the little girl who wants to be a doctor or lawyer like her mother. This is about what is possible from the point of view of inner freedom, of becoming totally responsible for the self, of taking responsibility for one’s own happiness, of learning how to make conscious choices, and of becoming aware of the self.

So when you meet someone who lives in an inner place that you find wonderful (even though it may seem light years from where you find yourself), or when you read about someone who does so, or when you read about an ideal you can aspire to, and you see that this is showing you what you could become, then use it as a map. Because you can also go there.

P.S. and in case you are curious, since then - since the experiences recounted above - there has been much fine-tuning in my life, much re-visiting of areas and issues that needed greater work, as I know there will continue to be until the day I pass, and much of the fine-tuning came about through other books, and also through human beings I've been fortunate enough to meet or observe or study, but the essential bits were put in place through those two early books by Dyer and Zukav.

Image: Lijiang River, China

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Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is available globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.


Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English). Available globally in paperback or Kindle e-book versions


Bücher von Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (Deutsch) ... JETZT bei Amazon (Taschenbuch oder E-Book) erhältlich 
DEINE SEELE UND DU
  

Angefangen mit Rewiring the Soul - auf Deutsch: Deine Seele und Du, jetzt weltweit erhältlich als Taschenbuch oder Kindle E-Book (Blog hier), werden auch meine anderen Bücher in Zukunft auf Deutsch bei Amazon erhältlich sein.

Libros por Gabriella Kortsch (español) ... próximamente en Amazon en versión bolsillo y E-Libro para Kindle


Empezando con Rewiring the Soul - en español: Reconectar con el Alma (blog aquí), se podrán encontrar mis libros en español por todo el mundo próximamente en Amazon.

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is The Tao of Spiritual Partnership, so named for another one of my books. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed. 

My blog posts are also featured on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, Pinterest & you can find me on Instagram 

Monday, April 18, 2016

A Brief Mindfulness Exercise


Most people lead stressful lives and find it hard to take time off to relax. Not good. You see it in the lines on their faces, in the way their voices sound strained, and in the way they find it hard to focus on your face because in their mind they are probably already wandering off to the next subject or meeting. They may not sleep well, they may have blood pressure issues, weight issues, less than prime cholesterol readings, as well as a low threshold for irritation. Typically their thoughts run amok. All day. This is all understandable, yet needs to be dealt with in order to improve the quality of your life.

Consider taking a brief, 15-minute walk every day, a relaxing walk, not one in which you walk so fast that you can't catch your breath. The main focus in this walk is to become aware of your present surroundings by using the beauty of what there is. Simply focus on the first beautiful thing you see or hear - perhaps an oak tree that has just begun to show its first green buds in the spring, or the song of robins; perhaps you perceive the perfume of a jasmine in flower. As you look at, smell, or listen to whatever it is you have chosen, feel grateful for that presence in your life just now, and notice a light sensation of relaxation or peace in your solar plexus. Now notice the next thing. Perhaps you now see a crocus bursting through the ground or you hear the sound of wind through the trees. Again, notice the beauty, feel the gratitude, and notice the sensation of peace. Now perhaps you see a kitten trying to catch a fly, or you hear the sound of wind through palm fronds.  Remember to notice the beauty, feel the gratitude, and then notice the sensation of peace. And this time perhaps you see a trail of busy worker ants carrying tiny bits of a crumb into their hill, or you hear the sound of cicadas. As before, notice the beauty, feel the gratitude, and notice the sensation of peace. Simply continue to do this for 15 minutes until you come to the end of your walk.

Here is what typically happens. You will feel great during those first few moments of awareness as you take in beauty and notice peace. Then, before you realize it, you will very quickly forget the purpose of your walk and will go into a relatively unaware world of thoughts and hence back to stress. And only when your fifteen minutes are up, will you remember what you were supposed to be doing ...

Don't worry. If you do this every day for about three weeks, your neural pathways will begin to change such that you will get closer and closer to managing the 15 minutes of noticing beauty and feeling appreciation and gratitude, and hence feeling more relaxed and at peace.

What literally happens while you are focusing on beauty and gratitude as you practice this deceptively simple exercise, is that you train yourself to remain present and aware. In doing this, your neural pathways begin to take on new shapes. There is an enormous amount of neuroscientific research that supports this, and that has proven that by so doing, you bring yourself to greater and greater states of inner peace - inner peace that you are able to summon at will after practicing for some time, no matter what your outer circumstances. This will impact all areas of your life. So simple. All you have to do is do it.

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Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books (also in Spanish & German). My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is available globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.


Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English). Available globally in paperback or Kindle e-book versions


Bücher von Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (Deutsch) ... JETZT bei Amazon (Taschenbuch oder E-Book) erhältlich 
DEINE SEELE UND DU
  

Angefangen mit Rewiring the Soul - auf Deutsch: Deine Seele und Du, jetzt weltweit erhältlich als Taschenbuch oder Kindle E-Book (Blog hier), werden auch meine anderen Bücher in Zukunft auf Deutsch bei Amazon erhältlich sein.

Libros por Gabriella Kortsch (español) ... ahora en todo el mundo en Amazon en versión bolsillo y Kindle



Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is The Tao of Spiritual Partnership, so named for another one of my books. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed. 

My blog posts are also featured on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, Pinterest & you can find me on Instagram 
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Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books (also in Spanish & German). My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is available globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.


Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English). Available globally in paperback or Kindle e-book versions


Bücher von Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (Deutsch) ... JETZT bei Amazon (Taschenbuch oder E-Book) erhältlich 
DEINE SEELE UND DU
  

Angefangen mit Rewiring the Soul - auf Deutsch: Deine Seele und Du, jetzt weltweit erhältlich als Taschenbuch oder Kindle E-Book (Blog hier), werden auch meine anderen Bücher in Zukunft auf Deutsch bei Amazon erhältlich sein.

Libros por Gabriella Kortsch (español) ... ahora en todo el mundo en Amazon en versión bolsillo y Kindle



Note: Also see my other other blog The Tao of Spiritual Partnership, so named for another one of my books. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed. 

My blog posts are also featured on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, Pinterest & you can find me on Instagram 

Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Taking a Closer Look at Manipulation


Sometimes subjects come up - I mean those subjects that have clearly entered your life in order to teach you something - over and over again, and they come veiled in myriad disguises until you finally sit up and realize there is a pattern.

Manipulation, and allowing yourself to be manipulated, is one of the ones that deserves a closer look. It's connected to boundaries and it's connected to self-love, but it's also occasionally connected to not letting yourself see the reality of people you've allowed into your personal space who appear to be friendly, woolly sheep, but who may, at times, either due to blindness (theirs and yours), or due to outright deception and calculation, in fact be wolves in sheep's clothing.

Here are some sample situations:
  • You have a colleague who starts on the job in a slightly lower position than yours. He/she flatters you and tells you how lucky they are to be working with you because you have so much to show and teach them. They enter your space deeply as they learn all they can from you. You feel very good about it because - let's be honest - it's wonderful to have someone admire you, and it's also wonderful to teach someone something that you have such a good command of. After some time (you are already imagining the scenario) your colleague manages to get promoted over you, having used all you taught him/her to get there. Were you manipulated (the flattery, the desire to teach)? Were you being blind to the potential for this happening? What went on? Clearly, whatever went on, it's a sign for you to look at it more carefully than just to write it off with pain and disappointment at having been used, or anger and disgust that someone you had been good to could use you this way. Clearly, part of the equation has to do with you.
  • You have a friend who has always leaned on you a bit. Whether it's for information, or how to do things, or perhaps even emotionally. Eventually you have come to feel responsible for this individual who is slightly one-sided, or perhaps needs a crutch. And the more you feel responsible, the more you feel uncomfortable. Perhaps you tell yourself you are being unkind. Perhaps you tell yourself you are not being compassionate. And yet, when that friend calls or comes over, or in any way participates in your life, you begin to recognize a sinking in the depth of your stomach. So what is going on? Obviously painting a scenario with words is never the whole story, and this is no exception, but based on the narrow parameters of what I have narrated here, I would suggest that at least part of what is going on is that your friend has abdicated his/her responsibility for his own life, and has gently and lovingly manipulated you into taking it on, at least in the arenas described. Again, clearly, part of the equation has to do with you.
These are only two very brief illustrations of how liking and loving are emotions that have the capacity to move us into that space where we allow another to manipulate us - and certainly - there are many instances where the other is as blind to the manipulative aspect of his/her own character as you are. Nevertheless, it's never about the other (you can't control how they behave), and it's always about you (you can control how you behave and how you react), and your responsibility to yourself. It's about recognizing how you are involved, what it may mean about resolving patterns that you have kept alive throughout your life, and especially, about how well you care for yourself, in other words, how much you love yourself.

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Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is available globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.


Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English). Available globally in paperback or Kindle e-book versions


Bücher von Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (Deutsch) ... JETZT bei Amazon (Taschenbuch oder E-Book) erhältlich 
DEINE SEELE UND DU
  

Angefangen mit Rewiring the Soul - auf Deutsch: Deine Seele und Du, jetzt weltweit erhältlich als Taschenbuch oder Kindle E-Book (Blog hier), werden auch meine anderen Bücher in Zukunft auf Deutsch bei Amazon erhältlich sein.

Libros por Gabriella Kortsch (español) ... ahora en Amazon en versión bolsillo. El 4/5/16 en Kindle


Empezando con Rewiring the Soul - en español: Reconectar con el Alma (blog aquí), se podrán encontrar mis libros en español por todo el mundo próximamente en Amazon.

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is The Tao of Spiritual Partnership, so named for another one of my books. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed. 

My blog posts are also featured on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, Pinterest & you can find me on Instagram 

Friday, April 1, 2016

Wishing for a Different Life


How much time do you spend every day wishing something were not as it is? How often do you do this? It might be something as simple as wishing it were sunny instead of raining, or as important as wishing you did not have a major illness. However, either way, it uses up precious moments, sets you on a train of thought that may lead you down a very murky path indeed, and more importantly, it squanders crucial energy that determines your inner well-being, not to mention, the number of minutes, hours, days, perhaps even weeks and months (over the course of a lifetime) that you waste engaging in this very fruitless activity.

Just as with so many other things discussed on my blogs (click on some of the labels below this post), this too is a question of awareness. Remembering to be conscious is truly a full-time job. In this case, it is a question of catching both the feeling coursing through you (which will not be optimal when you are wishing something away), and the thoughts related to that feeling, and then, consciously, with full awareness, choosing to focus elsewhere. Not because you are pretending that whatever it is that you don't want (rainy day, bad illness) is not as it is, but by acknowledging that just right now, as you are unable to change it, you choose to focus elsewhere. This could be as simple as focusing on something of beauty and feeling gratitude for it, because such a simple process takes you to the present moment, and wishing something away can not happen - is simply something that will never happen - when you are in the present moment. Choose to be aware enough to be able to do this. It improves the quality of all the moments of your life and it is another way of showing yourself that you love yourself.

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Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is available globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.


Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English). Available globally in paperback or Kindle e-book versions


Bücher von Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (Deutsch) ... JETZT bei Amazon (Taschenbuch oder E-Book) erhältlich 
DEINE SEELE UND DU
  

Angefangen mit Rewiring the Soul - auf Deutsch: Deine Seele und Du, jetzt weltweit erhältlich als Taschenbuch oder Kindle E-Book (Blog hier), werden auch meine anderen Bücher in Zukunft auf Deutsch bei Amazon erhältlich sein.

Libros por Gabriella Kortsch (español) ... próximamente en Amazon en versión bolsillo y E-Libro para Kindle


Empezando con Rewiring the Soul - en español: Reconectar con el Alma (blog aquí), se podrán encontrar mis libros en español por todo el mundo próximamente en Amazon.

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is The Tao of Spiritual Partnership, so named for another one of my books. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed. 

My blog posts are also featured on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, Pinterest & you can find me on Instagram