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"A revelation of insight into the foundations of human suffering & transcendence. It not only lays out essential steps for inner freedom and joy but illuminates the way to true human potential." Paul Rademacher, author: A Spiritual Hitchhiker's Guide to the Universe

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre

"Rewiring the Soul is one the best introductions to the spiritual life I've ever read. Not esoteric but real-world and practical. The implications are profound." Peter Shepherd, author: Daring To Be Yourself

Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Communicating With Soul


Communicating with the people who are important in your life is something most of us do without thinking. We talk about our day at work, our colleagues, our activities, how long we had to wait in line at the supermarket, about the fact that it's time to re-negotiate the mortgage with the bank, the kids need new school uniforms, which movie shall we go see on the weekend, where shall we take our vacation, can we afford a vacation, June invited us to a party at her house on Saturday, my exercise class got canceled, I'm reading a super book by Gabriella Kortsch, etc. etc.

All of that is indeed communication, but there is very little soul in it. Well wait, you say, we also talked about my mother who needs in-home care due to her Alzheimers, and we discussed the fact that Sinead, our middle daughter Ashley's best friend was caught taking drugs, and we're worried about Ashley running in the wrong crowd, and we discussed the fact that I'm rather concerned about getting downsized at work.

Agreed, that is also communication, but I still contend that there is very little soul in it. All these matters are important, and clearly need to be discussed in a partnership or marriage, but most of them are, you might say, practical matters.

So what do I mean about the communicating with soul? Perhaps we discuss how I feel about mother needing in-home care. It's brought up memories of guilt I thought I had long buried about not being a good daughter, and now the fact that a stranger might be taking care of her, has made them resurface with a vengeance. Perhaps we discuss our worries about our daughter in the light of how we lived ourselves as teens and young adults, partaking freely in recreational drugs, even though we stopped it long ago, and are now realizing the fears our parents must have had about us, and perhaps in this conversation we realize we need to have an open talk with our daughter about the topic, and we begin to discuss how best to go about it, and how we want to deal with her from now on, perhaps in a more open way, where we are prepared for her to see that we made mistakes of the kind we fear she is now making, and where we risk that she may view us with new eyes on receiving this information from us. Perhaps we discuss my feelings of impotence and fear about being downsized, and perhaps that takes us to a conversation about my dreams, my aspirations, that I had never shared with you before, that have to do with making a living doing something totally unrelated to what I've been doing up to now. Perhaps in this conversation I realize that you are willing to take that risk with me, for me to re-engineer my career because you care so much about me dedicating my life to something that means a lot to me.

What has been so different about these conversations from the earlier examples in the post? In part it has to do with our mutual opening up to our feelings, feelings that might leave us more exposed and vulnerable to our partner, but in part it has to do with the fact that precisely those feelings create a greater soul connection between us as we talk. And it is this soul connection that gives us a firm foundation upon which to base our relationship when the going gets rough (as it does in most partnerships), without which we might not get over the hurdles.

Communicating with soul can be cast aside, waylaid, or forgotten about so easily, as we get caught up with the practical dimension of our lives, and further, by not practicing it, we are not particularly good at it. So making the effort to speak with soul, to find the soul in our communication, we are creating a depth of relationship and understanding that is not possible to achieve the other way. Oh, and there is an added benefit: when soul is strong in relationship, sex tends to get better and better, as opposed to getting boring and so frequently eventually becoming non-existent.

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Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is available globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.


Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English). Available globally in paperback or Kindle e-book versions


Bücher von Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (Deutsch) ... JETZT bei Amazon (Taschenbuch oder E-Book) erhaltbar 
DEINE SEELE UND DU
  

Angefangen mit Rewiring the Soul - auf Deutsch: Deine Seele und Du, jetzt weltweit erhaltbar als Taschenbuch oder Kindle E-Book (Blog hier), werden auch meine anderen Bücher in Zukunft auf Deutsch bei Amazon erhaltbar sein.

Libros por Gabriella Kortsch (español) ... próximamente en Amazon en versión bolsillo y E-Libro para Kindle


Empezando con Rewiring the Soul - en español: Reconectar con el Alma (blog aquí), se podrán encontrar mis libros en español por todo el mundo próximamente en Amazon.

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is The Tao of Spiritual Partnership, so named for another one of my books. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed. 

My blog posts are also featured on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, Pinterest & you can find me on Instagram 

Friday, September 25, 2015

Free Yourself From the Paralysis of Doubt


Can we ever live without some measure of inner doubt? Perhaps in some areas of our lives that is possible, but not in others, where we feel less secure. To live without doubt in at least some areas seems impossible in a world - and in a life - that is in continual motion and growth. But my contention here is not so much to eradicate inner doubt, as to deal with the part of it that paralyzes us. As you begin to doubt yourself - in whatever area of your life - you begin to over analyze, you begin to second guess, you begin to procrastinate making decisions, and you begin to hesitate. Motion is lost, movement is slowed down, and it is even possible that stagnation - at least in that area of your life - begins.

As you listen to the inner voices of doubt, you need to have a plan:
  1. Go to your original premise - whatever you were thinking about:
    1. A decision? Where to continue your studies; whether to leave your current employment in order to seek a more challenging (or better paid) position; whether you want to get married to your current partner; which gift to buy for a friend's birthday; whether to get the blue or the gray curtains; where to take your next vacation; whether to have shrimp or steak at the restaurant ... as you see doubts can assail us in major, life-changing decisions, but also in smaller, relatively unimportant ones
    2. An ideological, religious, or political stance on some point? Perhaps you had been convinced of one point of view until recently when new events, new knowledge that came to you, or a new uinderstanding has shaken your previous belief, and now you stand before the possibility of changing that belief for another
    3. A way of looking at yourself? It may include much doubt and hesitation about your own abilities, talents, intellect, looks, worthiness, likeability, etc.
  2. Gather information: get the pros and cons, separate myth from reality, if necessary pull in a few trusted people in order to get a few (very few) other opinions or thoughts 
  3. Look at your material and always keep your gut instinct and your heart in mind (see also my Introducing Our Second and Third Brain) as you read through the material with your rational brain at the same time as you pay attention to your other brains: your gut and your heart. At the beginning of doing things in this fashion, you may find that you pay more attention to the rational brain and less to the other two, but as you become more attuned to the language and signs of the other two, and as you begin to trust their information, you will feel more comfortable in always taking them into account, in order to create an inner balance between your three brains (three brains that have been neuro-scientifically acknowledged, as you will see if you read the article mentioned above)
  4. So now you've looked at your 'dilemma', you've gathered information, you've looked at it from the position of your three brains.
  5. Now let it sit for a day or two ... sometimes just the overnight process is enough ... sometimes is requires a bit more, but be strict with yourself to not allow the mulling process to take overly long. Here you are no longer actively thinking about whatever the dilemma is, rather, you are letting it marinate inside of you, after having taken the above steps.
  6. Remember: doubts may still arise, but you are focused on listening to your three brains, and on getting a synergistic reaction from your self about the situation.
  7. When you take action, even if you feel that there is still considerable doubt, take action in the knowledge that you have done what you could to bring your process to the best possible outcome for you or the situation you are considering at this time. Does that mean that there could be other decisions? Of course. But as I wrote a few days ago in Your Possible Selves, every decision you take, over the course of your entire life, could have been different. Therefore, by uising the process described herein, you can take some of the pain of paralysis away from that process and move forward.
Remember, inner doubt is anathema to your well-being, but it can also be highly useful. If it allows you to take steps of the kind mentioned in this post, it is helpful and will keep you from taking rash decisions. If, on the other hand, it drags you into a quagmire of hesitancy and ultimately stagnation, your life will only grow and evolve with great difficulty. Finding freedom from the paralysis of inner doubt is another step on the road to inner freedom about which I am continually posting on this blog.


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Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is available globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.


Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English). Available globally in paperback or Kindle e-book versions


Bücher von Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (Deutsch) ... JETZT bei Amazon (Taschenbuch oder E-Book) erhaltbar 
DEINE SEELE UND DU
  

Angefangen mit Rewiring the Soul - auf Deutsch: Deine Seele und Du, jetzt weltweit erhaltbar als Taschenbuch oder Kindle E-Book (Blog hier), werden auch meine anderen Bücher in Zukunft auf Deutsch bei Amazon erhaltbar sein.

Libros por Gabriella Kortsch (español) ... próximamente en Amazon en versión bolsillo y E-Libro para Kindle


Empezando con Rewiring the Soul - en español: Reconectar con el Alma (blog aquí), se podrán encontrar mis libros en español por todo el mundo próximamente en Amazon.

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is The Tao of Spiritual Partnership, so named for another one of my books. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed. 

My blog posts are also featured on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, Pinterest & you can find me on Instagram 

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Looking Into Your Past to See Your Future Possible Selves


No, I've not become a fortune teller, nor have I developed the ability to foresee anything specific. I have, however, frequently - over the course of my life - indulged in an activity into which I was just recently having another foray, as I ran across this quotation by Winston Churchill: the more distant we look into the past, the farther we can see into the future.

Let's say you are 30. You take a look at the last 10 years of your life. You see where you were then. You see where you are now. Much of it is a logical progression of time, because much of it is part of how our society works: you finished your schooling, you started working at your chosen profession, you probably fell in love, perhaps you got married and had children, and so on. But: what about where you were ideologically? What about what you enjoyed? What about what you did at some point during those 10 years that had a direct impact on something that is happening now? For example, having chosen to learn a new language at 20 may have created an opportunity when you were 28 that you would simply never have imagined. Or perhaps you enhanced your internet and web skills in some way when you were 22, simply because a hobby of yours required such greater expertise, and that knowledge has now taken you on yet another road you could not have imagined. Perhaps because of the people it led you to meet - not only professionally, but perhaps also in the personal realm of friendship or even love - or perhaps it was simply a stepping stone to something else, but that something else would never have been possible, had you not done the enhancing back when you were 22.

None of the above is spectacularly unheard of, or even very special, yet I find that many - if not most - people simply don't look at their lives this way. But in my own life, I have found that taking such a position of looking through the lens of past time, has often given me great insight into how I might move forward, giving credence to the Churchill quote above. It has allowed me to see the breadth and scope of how my life might change and move forward in the next ten years, albeit not by allowing me to see the specifics of that forward motion.

And of course if you are now 53 and you look back not only over the past 10 years, but perhaps over the past 30 years, using a similarly focused microscope, it allows you glimpses into the potential of the next 30 years.

I can hear some saying why bother? Certainly, this article is not about convincing you to do this. It is, however, about showing you the potential - and rather magnificent and life-giving - excitement you may garner by looking at your past, realizing how truly far you have come in the period of time which you are examining (and I don't just mean externally), and therefore how far you can still go in the equivalent period of time that is ahead of you. Simply seeing and realizing all that happened, how much you changed and all you did in the past period under consideration (see also this magnificent piece on a blog called Brain Pickings that looks at this subject from a somewhat different perspective), may not only excite you, but also incite you to reach for even more - on whatever the level may be that you have under consideration.

Looking into the past in order to see the future is neither a matter of fortune-telling, nor an exercise in irrational futility, but rather, a means to better fully see and understand yourself, to see and understand the many people you have been, and still have the potential to grow into - a kind of future possible self, not only one, but many (the future possible self was, in fact, the topic of my doctoral dissertation, although not in the context of today's post, and is also the sub-title of my first book, extract here). And this future possible self, or many possible selves can be discerned so much more readily by scrutinizing your past and all the past selves that you already were. This exercise - done occasionally - can give much hope and impetus to your present self.

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Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is available globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.


Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English). Available globally in paperback or Kindle e-book versions


Bücher von Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (Deutsch) ... JETZT bei Amazon (Taschenbuch oder E-Book) erhaltbar 
DEINE SEELE UND DU
  

Angefangen mit Rewiring the Soul - auf Deutsch: Deine Seele und Du, jetzt weltweit erhaltbar als Taschenbuch oder Kindle E-Book (Blog hier), werden auch meine anderen Bücher in Zukunft auf Deutsch bei Amazon erhaltbar sein.

Libros por Gabriella Kortsch (español) ... próximamente en Amazon en versión bolsillo y E-Libro para Kindle


Empezando con Rewiring the Soul - en español: Reconectar con el Alma (blog aquí), se podrán encontrar mis libros en español por todo el mundo próximamente en Amazon.

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is The Tao of Spiritual Partnership, so named for another one of my books. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed. 

My blog posts are also featured on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, Pinterest & you can find me on Instagram 

Monday, September 21, 2015

The Love You Seek in the Eyes of Others


You know that incredible feeling of joy you have when you see that another loves you? When you see the love they have for you in their eyes?

Why do you suppose it gives you such a feeling of joy?

Now let's briefly examine that earth-shattering feeling of devastation you have when you see that the other no longer loves you? When you see that the love they had for you is no longer in their eyes?

Why do you suppose it devastates you so much?

The easy answer is - to the first question - because I feel loved. And the easy answer to the second question is because I no longer feel loved.

But what lies beneath this conundrum that has shaken most of us to the very roots of our being at some point in our lives - both in the good way and the bad?

When we are not taught to love ourselves as children ... simply because our parents may believe it's not healthy, or because it's selfish (which might be due to religious precepts), or because they never learned how to do it themselves, or because those who were in charge of our psycho-emotional well-being did not think along these lines (and believe me, that is very generalized) ... so when we are not taught to love ourselves as children for the very benign reasons just mentioned, we simply have little notion of how it feels to love the self.

If, furthermore, the reason we were not taught how to love ourselves is based on a more negative childhood, during which we were, perhaps, neglected, not loved, or loved erratically, or rejected, or outright abused (on any level), not only were we not taught how to love ourselves, but we were taught - in some fashion - that we were not lovable, or not worthy of love, and acceptance, and respect, and admiration, and feeling good about ourselves, and all those wonderful things that come with loving the self.

So we become adults, we complete our studies, we have a career, and at some point along the line, we fall in love (or we fall in love several times). And now we experience that ecstatic feeling of joy we all know that we have when someone looks at us with love in their eyes. The real reason for our feeling of joy is because thanks to the love of the other for us, we are now able to - perhaps for the first time in our lives - experience love for ourselves. But of course we interpret it as feeling so good because we are in love with the other person. In some fashion - apart from potentially actually being in love with the other person - what is happening on another level, is that we are falling in love with ourselves for the first time. That which - in an ideal world - should have happened when we were children, happened now thanks to the person with whom we are in love, and thanks to what we see for ourselves reflected in their eyes.

Fast forward to the part where we feel devastated. We are no longer loved. We are shattered by the pain we feel. And of course we explain it to ourselves due to the fact that the person who used to love us, no longer does. And certainly, to a degree that is also true. But what lies beneath this apparent simple explanation for our pain is something much more profound. Due to the absence of the other person in our lives, or to the absence of the love they used to show us reflected in their eyes, we are no longer able to experience love for ourselves. We were only able to do it via the other's presence and the other's love for us in our lives. And since we generally don't understand this fundamental truth, we put it all down to having lost the love of our lives and seek another. And of course it is highly probably that at some point the same thing happens again.

So what is the solution? First, understand that the reason this whole thing happens as described, is because we didn't learn how to love ourselves in a healthy way as children. Hence we seek love in order to feel loved - but ideally, we should be able to supply such love for ourselves long before we seek love in another. And not only do we seek love, but - at least after that initial experience of the headiness and joy of being loved - we now need it. And anything that you need on a psycho-emotional or spiritual level and that you have not learned how to supply for yourself, may eventually cause you great pain and suffering.

Clearly, then, you will need to determine whether you are willing to put in the devotion to your own well-being to learn how to love yourself. It's not a hard process as much as it is a daily process that needs to become as though it were background music in your life every day, all day long. I wrote an entire book about it The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self  (get an extract here) and there are many articles on all my blogs (this one, plus two that you can reach by clicking on the appropriate tabs at the top of this page) and one in German and another in Spanish, as well as on my website that are dedicated to this topic.

A final point about this business of loving yourself: once you have walked down that road, and once you do feel love for yourself thanks to yourself, no matter your outer circumstances, because you are the motor for this feeling of love, as opposed to it being another person, then when love walks into your life from the outside, it will be joyful, marvelous, and all those wonderful things that we associate with love, but you will be independent of it because you will not need it. You will love having it as part of your life, but that is very different from needing it. And healthier.

It's a choice and it's something you can start right now. It's not a time-consuming effort, but rather, a different way at viewing yourself, your relationships, and your life.

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Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is available globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.


Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English). Available globally in paperback or Kindle e-book versions


Bücher von Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (Deutsch) ... JETZT bei Amazon (Taschenbuch oder E-Book) erhaltbar 
DEINE SEELE UND DU
  

Angefangen mit Rewiring the Soul - auf Deutsch: Deine Seele und Du, jetzt weltweit erhaltbar als Taschenbuch oder Kindle E-Book (Blog hier), werden auch meine anderen Bücher in Zukunft auf Deutsch bei Amazon erhaltbar sein.

Libros por Gabriella Kortsch (español) ... próximamente en Amazon en versión bolsillo y E-Libro para Kindle


Empezando con Rewiring the Soul - en español: Reconectar con el Alma (blog aquí), se podrán encontrar mis libros en español por todo el mundo próximamente en Amazon.

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is The Tao of Spiritual Partnership, so named for another one of my books. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed. 

My blog posts are also featured on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, Pinterest & you can find me on Instagram 

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Could You Live Well Without Your Heart or Guts?


This post is NOT about health issues, or losing a vital organ. It is about some important psychological, emotional, and spiritual issues.

Imagine not having your heart. Or your entire visceral system - your guts. As you might imagine, in the case of the former, you would die, and in the case of the latter, while I can't definitively state that you would die - simply because I don't know - but I do imagine you would.

Here's my point: just as if we did not have use of the brain in our guts and our heart (what neuro-scientists are calling the second and third brains), as long as we don't use those 'brains', it is as though we did not have them.

How can you use them? First of all, understand that you have THREE brains (see Introducing Our Second & Third Brains: We Do Think With Our Heart and Instinct). Each of those three brains is vital to your well-being, just as each of your organs is vital to your physical well-being.

But there's a huge difference. Most of your physical organs tend to do their duty automatically. You don't have to think about making your heart pump, or of making your intestines do their own vital duty. Our three brains, however, need some training, or practice, or attention. Imagine if, as a small child, you had not been surrounded by people who taught you so many things that caused neural pathways in your brain to grow exponentially. We can see some of the results of that in children in some orphanages of war-ravaged countries, who have rarely had real human connections during those early and all-important first two years of life.

But of course, that was not your case. You learned how to use your rational or logical brain, the one that resides in your skull, in optimal ways.

But what happened to those other two brains of yours? Were you told to not be so emotional? Or were you told not to let your emotions rule your head? Did that not make you believe that whatever messages your third brain (heart brain) was sending you, were messages that at best, were not to be trusted, and at worst, were false?

And were you not told women's intuition simply doesn't let them think straight? Or were you not told that intuition is not reliable, not scientific, and therefore not good? Did that not make you believe that whatever messages your second brain (gut brain) was sending you, were messages that at best, were not to be trusted, and at worst, were false?

OK, so the world has come a long way, and much of the above is no longer being said quite as frequently - nor quite as disparagingly - as it used to be, but I find that for many people, it continues to remain as a deep-seated and ingrained distrust and doubt with regards to emotions and intuition - with emotional and intuitive knowing.

And if you distrust something, or doubt its value, not only will you not use it, but you won't even bother learning how to use it nor practice it.

So back to living well without those ever vital organs. In this case, how well can we live, if we pay scant attention to the knowledge that comes to us from our other brains?

Read the article I linked to above, inform yourself, and above all, understand that as long as you do not incorporate these other brains into your daily repertoire, you are figuratively living on one lung, or half a heart. Look into this and begin practicing how to make these other brains a valuable part of your life.

Image: International League of Conservation Photographers 

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Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is available globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.


Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English). Available globally in paperback or Kindle e-book versions

Bücher von Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (Deutsch) ... JETZT bei Amazon (Taschenbuch oder E-Book) erhaltbar 
DEINE SEELE UND DU
  

Angefangen mit Rewiring the Soul - auf Deutsch: Deine Seele und Du, jetzt weltweit erhaltbar als Taschenbuch oder Kindle E-Book (Blog hier), werden auch meine anderen Bücher in Zukunft auf Deutsch bei Amazon erhaltbar sein.

Libros por Gabriella Kortsch (español) ... próximamente en Amazon en versión bolsillo y E-Libro para Kindle


Empezando con Rewiring the Soul - en español: Reconectar con el Alma (blog aquí), se podrán encontrar mis libros en español por todo el mundo próximamente en Amazon.

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is The Tao of Spiritual Partnership, so named for another one of my books. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed. 

My blog posts are also featured on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, Pinterest & you can find me on Instagram 

Monday, September 14, 2015

The Companions That Shape Your Life

  

John (not his real name, all names in this article have been changed) was recently told he has a tumor. Malignant or benign, he will not know for about three weeks, after a series of tests and the results that they offer. Marguerite was taking her husband’s suits to the cleaners and found a hand-written note – not his handwriting - in the breast pocket of one of the jackets: Your love makes life worth living. Matthew and Lily have just been notified by their bank that unless they pay the overdue mortgage on their home, it will be repossessed by the end of the month. Jennifer had a call from the police this morning. Her son David is in jail for possession of cocaine. Michael got fired yesterday. And William was robbed. Burglars broke into his home while he was away on a brief trip and managed to open the safe where he had six months’ worth of emergency funds and his wife’s jewelry. None of it was insured. Finally, Mariel, a horse trainer, had a car accident, and not only is her car totaled, but because of injuries she sustained, she can not work for at least six weeks and her job only allows her six sick days per annum.

When Life Gets Hard

Such a list of bad luck and hard situations doesn’t exactly make for fun reading. But here is why this is the subject of today’s article: when life serves up the hard bits, the companions we have chosen up to that point in our lives, will shape – at least in part – the manner in which we are able to deal with the problems. They will sustain us and they will help us get through that dark forest to the clearing on the other side. Or not.

Habitual Companions

Here are some of the companions we habitually choose – we spend our precious time with these companions - and because they are habitual, and because we generally choose them long before any of the hard bits in our lives have appeared, they impact our thoughts and behavior in ways that are detrimental instead of uplifting when the more difficult times show up, just as sugar and chemicals in food are detrimental to our bodies and creep up on us until finally one day we realize the body that we have is no longer healthy:
  • Endless television shows that we watch simply because we happened on them, either while channel surfing, or because they were there when we turned on the TV
  • Junk books
  • TV and radio commercials and print advertising, not to mention billboards that encroach on our time and thinking as we drive through the streets (similar to what mindlessly eating sugary treats or salty chips while we watch TV or read, does to our body)
  • Fashion, gossip, and sports magazines
  • Irate political, sports, and religious commentators on radio or television
  • Conversations consisting to a degree of gossip, or discussion of other people’s lives
  • Conversations consisting to a degree of complaining about something in our lives which we expect the other person to listen to, and vice versa, listening to others complaining about their lives (see also Do Your Relationship Boundaries Contribute to Your Well-Being?
  • See also Emotional and Energetic Vampires
  • See also Finding it Hard to Love Yourself? Check Out Your Boundaries
  • Spending time in thought on endless worrying about problems (see also Controlling Ourselves, Our Lives, and the People in Them
  • Spending time in thought on endlessly going over and over what someone did to you that you simply can not forgive (see also Can You Forgive?)
  • Spending time in thought about how bored we are, or participating in some of the above activities simply because we are bored (see also Finding a Meaning for Your Life
  • Socializing with a great amount of alcohol or some other type of substance, meaning that the actual interaction with other individuals is probably not on a level that serves us
  • Socializing with people we are addicted to because of the power they have (see also What Are Your Addictions?)
  • Shopping until we drop (even if our credit cards are already groaning under a weight of debt)
Nourishment

There’s nothing wrong with all of the above in moderation, but if you were to make a list of all the hours you spend on all of the above activities that apply to you, you might find that when you need another kind of inner back-up, you don’t have it. When life throws us the curve balls, when the floor falls away from under out feet, when unexpected setbacks arrive, frequently what we most have going for us is what we carry around inside with us. What we have nourished ourselves with. Think of a young woman about to get pregnant. It’s logical, we all understand that if she is eating a healthy diet, the body that will become a vessel for the baby will be able to nourish that growing fetus in a much better fashion, than a body that is filling itself with junk food or substances. So it is with us as we prepare ourselves for those moments in life when the going gets rough.

Resilience is required for difficult times. Inner strength is required. Wisdom, trust and faith (not necessarily religious) are required. Belief in yourself is required. Knowing that you can survive will take you a long way. Emulation of others you may admire who have gone through tough times is helpful. Learn about them. Read about them. Be inspired by them. And above all, love yourself (see also Love Yourself First).

Think of this: how much joy have you stored up in your life to get you through difficulties? (see also Do You Dance?) Have you figured out how to live a joyful life no matter what? (See also You are Here to be Happy). How much understanding have you stored? Have you filled yourself with ideas that will see you through? What would you do – inside your head - if you were stranded on a desert island, or if you were placed into solitary confinement? Obviously those things are highly unlikely to happen to the great majority of us. But that – feeling that we are all alone - is how we sometimes feel when we are going through tough times because there is nothing there to sustain us.

Keeping Your Energy High

I’m an inveterate reader and have been ever since I discovered the public library with a spectacular children’s section in the city where I lived in Canada as a child. I took my bicycle there once a week, filled the basket with books and read those books over the course of the week. Evidently most of those books were novels, children’s books, and so on, but I quickly realized that there were certain books or certain pieces of information in some of the books that spoke to me in other ways than the rest. Hence I avidly searched for more of those books or for more books with passages of that nature. They nourished me. As I grew older, I began to acquire books with the goal in mind that I wanted material that nourished me, and then, even at the age of 15, realized that some of those had become faithful companions when life got hard. I was able to find solace in them, greater understanding of how I might continue on, and certainly, they encouraged me in my darker hours.

But it need not be books. It just needs to be a habit – once you understand this process – of finding daily quality nourishment that will sustain you (see also Keeping Your Energy High), because it has served to grow a being (you) that carries inner strength and conviction, a being that knows it can survive, no matter what is thrown at it. Such inner nourishment can come in many guises, but you will know it because of how it raises your inner energy, your inner sense of well-being and helps you grow towards the goal of truly loving yourself. Begin to make the pursuit of such energy-raising nourishment a habit. It will serve you well and lead you closer to inner peace, well-being and freedom.

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Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is available globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.


Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English). Available globally in paperback or Kindle e-book versions


Bücher von Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (Deutsch) ... JETZT bei Amazon (Taschenbuch oder E-Book) erhaltbar 
DEINE SEELE UND DU
  

Angefangen mit Rewiring the Soul - auf Deutsch: Deine Seele und Du, jetzt weltweit erhaltbar als Taschenbuch oder Kindle E-Book (Blog hier), werden auch meine anderen Bücher in Zukunft auf Deutsch bei Amazon erhaltbar sein.

Libros por Gabriella Kortsch (español) ... próximamente en Amazon en versión bolsillo y E-Libro para Kindle


Empezando con Rewiring the Soul - en español: Reconectar con el Alma (blog aquí), se podrán encontrar mis libros en español por todo el mundo próximamente en Amazon.

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is The Tao of Spiritual Partnership, so named for another one of my books. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed. 

My blog posts are also featured on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, Pinterest & you can find me on Instagram 

Friday, September 4, 2015

Emotions: Your Road to Hell or Freedom


Emotions are so important in deciding what you will do with the circumstances of your life. I discuss this topic with so many of my clients. I discuss it in my monthly newsletter that goes out across the globe, and find there is so much resonance in this, and so decided that this clip from my local radio show that broadcast weekly for five years here on the southern coast of Spain, should go up again. It's got a great message. It's not original to me, many authors and speakers say the same, but it is so important to internalize. Please listen to it:



Should you experience difficulties hearing it here on my blog, please click here in order to go straight to my Youtube channel.

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Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is available globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.


Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English). Available globally in paperback or Kindle e-book versions


Bücher von Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (Deutsch) ... JETZT bei Amazon (Taschenbuch oder E-Book) erhaltbar 
DEINE SEELE UND DU
  

Angefangen mit Rewiring the Soul - auf Deutsch: Deine Seele und Du, jetzt weltweit erhaltbar als Taschenbuch oder Kindle E-Book (Blog hier), werden auch meine anderen Bücher in Zukunft auf Deutsch bei Amazon erhaltbar sein.

Libros por Gabriella Kortsch (español) ... próximamente en Amazon en versión bolsillo y E-Libro para Kindle


Empezando con Rewiring the Soul - en español: Reconectar con el Alma (blog aquí), se podrán encontrar mis libros en español por todo el mundo próximamente en Amazon.

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is The Tao of Spiritual Partnership, so named for another one of my books. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed. 

My blog posts are also featured on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, Pinterest & you can find me on Instagram