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"A revelation of insight into the foundations of human suffering & transcendence. It not only lays out essential steps for inner freedom and joy but illuminates the way to true human potential." Paul Rademacher, author: A Spiritual Hitchhiker's Guide to the Universe

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre

"Rewiring the Soul is one the best introductions to the spiritual life I've ever read. Not esoteric but real-world and practical. The implications are profound." Peter Shepherd, author: Daring To Be Yourself

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Look Inside First


Finding reasons out there for the multitude of things that go wrong in our lives; judging or criticizing others for things we allow in ourselves; blaming others (or circumstances) for things we justify in ourselves, are all what many of us (myself included) do so very often in the course of our daily lives. Because it's always so much easier to see it out there.

Looking inside first is hard. But it can become a habit. And the more you do it, the more you realize the enormous degree of freedom it gives you because it signifies that you begin to choose how to react, as opposed to needing to find fault with or judge, or criticize, or look for reasons out there to justify whatever it is that is going on.

Think of it this way: when you do all those other things that allow you to avoid looking inside - how do you feel? Is it not true that while you may feel you now have a justification for whatever it is that is going on, you also don't really feel great? You may feel slightly superior, which may give you an edge, but it's not actually something that makes you feel good, is it?

Let's say you see a homeless person on the street. Let's say you give that person some coins. And let's say you feel sorry for them. But let's also say that all the while there is a little voice in you saying why can't they get a job? So here's the thing: perhaps they could get that job, or perhaps not. But it's not up to you to make that judgement call. That is their responsibility. Or their choice. But it is your choice to look inside yourself to determine why you need to judge. And it is also your job to be conscious enough about this in order to stop the judging and simply let be. It is your job to grow your inner self to the point where you no longer judge (or criticize or justify, etc.), because it is your growth you are interested in, isn't it? Or do you concern yourself about the growth of others while keeping yourself on a shelf of superiority that allows you to avoid looking at yourself?

I know, this is not necessarily fun stuff. But it's the stuff our potential growth is made of. Let's look at another example. Let's say you make a point of eating healthy food. Nothing processed. Mainly organic. No sugar. So now you are at the grocery store waiting in line behind a rather stout couple with a shopping cart full of ... you know ... all that stuff you wouldn't touch with a 10-foot pole. And what thoughts course through your mind? (Mine too ... as I often say, the things I write about are not because I've surpassed all this mundane stuff and find myself floating on some spiritual cloud, but precisely because I also have work to do). So the same applies as in the example of the homeless person. It's not up to you to make that judgement call. That is their responsibility. Or their choice. But it is your choice to look inside yourself to determine why you need to judge. And it is also your job to be conscious enough about this in order to stop the judging and simply let be. It is your job to grow your inner self to the point where you no longer judge (or criticize or justify, etc.), because it is your growth you are interested in, isn't it? Or do you concern yourself about the growth of others while keeping yourself on a shelf of superiority that allows you to avoid looking at yourself?

So the choice to look inside first is a very important one. Don't let yourself bypass it and take the easy road. At least not if you want to grow.

Image: I am unable to give credit as I found no information, but would gladly do so if a reader would point me in the right direction


Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch:

 
Rewiring the Soul

Click here to download the first chapter.
To see the Table of Contents click here

Reviews From the Back Cover:

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, Director, Center for Sacred Theatre, Ashland, Oregon; author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre

"Rewiring the Soul is one the best introductions to the spiritual life I've ever read. Not esoteric but real-world & practical. The implications are profound." Peter Shepherd; Founder Trans4mind.com; author: Daring To Be Yourself 

"The human being's directory to the soul. A breakthrough for those seeking practical assistance, those of a more mystical bent & every soul awaiting discovery." Toni Petrinovich, Ph.D.; author: The Call: Awakening the Angelic Human

The Tao of Spiritual Partnership

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

Praise for The Tao of Spiritual Partnership

“All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come."
Chris Griscom: Spiritual Leader, Author (among others) of: Ecstasy is a New Frequency

“Eloquent and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion.” 

Robert Schwartz: Author of Your Soul’s Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born 


The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self 


My new book: The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self, is just out. Click here to download an excerpt. 

From the Introduction: It is your right to live a life of love. It is your right to understand that loving yourself first is not a selfish way of behavior, but one that allows you to live that life of love. However, it's highly probable that you never got the instruction manual explaining exactly how to accomplish this. Possibly your family - and it may have been a loving family - considered loving the self an act of selfishness. Or perhaps the members of your family simply didn't practice loving the self, and of course, what you didn't see - what was not shown to you - while you were growing up, meant that you just didn't learn how to apply it to yourself. The closer you are able to move towards loving yourself, the closer you will be to living a life of love - quite independently of whether you are in a love relationship or not. A life of love can be lived with or without a partnership, because a life of love implies that you know that it all begins with you by loving the self. The more clearly you understand how to love yourself, the more clearly you will see that it is very hard - if not impossible - to love others in ways that are unrelated to fulfilling any of your needs. Loving yourself first is - for so many of us - one of the hardest things we will ever learn how to do. But know this: the benefits affect you in every particle of your being - body, mind, and soul - and are greater than you will ever be able to imagine.

Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin (to be released Summer 2014)


My new book (due out summer 2014), deals with a subject that affects great numbers of people. Neediness and emotional unavailability are two sides of the same coin because both are based on a lack of self love, a fear of love, and a fear of the hurt that love can engender due to the vulnerability that being in love generally evokes. A person may live out one side of the coin (neediness) in several relationships and then - in a new relationship - may find him or herself living out the other side of the coin (emotional unavailability).

Neither of these tend to be deliberate because there is never anything consciously deliberate about the way a defense mechanism arises in childhood. A man who refuses to commit should not blithely be judged as being manipulative or callous although on the surface he may very well appear to be so. Furthermore, the older he gets, the more of a history of this nature he acquires, and hence the more those who sit in judgement reach the conclusion that they are right. The same could, of course, be said about the emotionally unavailable woman. Another case in point: a woman whose neediness may appear as emotionally manipulative (of her partner, parents, children, or friends), generally also does not behave this way in a deliberate fashion. The same could be said about the needy man.

Nevertheless some individuals, who have used these defense mechanisms over many years, have observed their effect on others, and so the emotionally unavailable man or woman may have noticed that this behavior magically attracts a certain kind of partner. Likewise, the needy man or woman will have observed that certain individuals always seem to do their bidding, if the neediness in expressed in emotionally manipulative ways.

This book dissects the causes and solutions of these defense mechanisms, paving the road - for those who wish to change the inner landscape of their emotional constraints - to live and be able to love more freely.

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is The Tao of Spiritual Partnership, so named for another one of my books. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

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