WELCOME TO THIS BLOG


"A revelation of insight into the foundations of human suffering & transcendence. It not only lays out essential steps for inner freedom and joy but illuminates the way to true human potential." Paul Rademacher, author: A Spiritual Hitchhiker's Guide to the Universe

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre

"Rewiring the Soul is one the best introductions to the spiritual life I've ever read. Not esoteric but real-world and practical. The implications are profound." Peter Shepherd, author: Daring To Be Yourself

Monday, September 30, 2013

Your Friend & Your Enemy


It's easy to distinguish between your friend and your enemy when they are out there - visible to the naked eye, not only for how you recognize their faces, but also due to how you recognize what they do to and for you, proving by those words or acts the fact that they are your friends or enemies.

It's slightly  more complicated to recognize when we're talking about the friend and the enemy we all have inside of us. You know - the voice that tells us we can't, or that we're not good enough, or that we'll never make it, or that we're a failure. That voice - the voice of our inner enemy - is insidious and potentially so sabotaging that it might prove itself right if we commit the mistake of believing it. Furthermore, that voice is often heard within the secure confines of our comfort zone and hence it keeps us there, and by so doing, it keeps us from growing.

But we also have another 'person' inside of us, and that is our friend. That's the one - although its voice is often much, much weaker than the voice of our enemy - that says yes you can or it may say of course this is possible, just give it a try or it may say remember when you did such-and-such and you believed you wouldn't be able to manage it and you did ... just do that again and so on. This is the voice we need to listen to and this is the inner person that needs to receive precedence in what we believe and what we don't.

Become acquainted with those inner people of yours and make sure that you can easily distinguish between your friend and your enemy and make even more sure that you make the conscious choice of showing one the door and giving the other your hand. There is a wonderful Costa Rican proverb that goes: All people have their friend and their enemy within themselves.


For much more information about your inner voices and living a conscious life, have a look at my book Rewiring the Soul: Finding the Possible Self, available at Amazon as paperback or e-book for Kindle.


Click here to download the first chapter.
An Early Review (From Amazon):

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, Director, Center for Sacred Theatre, Ashland, Oregon; author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre

Excerpt from an Interview:

Who is the book written for? Rewiring the Soul is written for anybody who suffers and I guess that means just about all of us! It is written for anybody who has not yet experienced enduring happiness and inner well-being; anybody who is reaching for inner peace; anybody whose life is not as they would wish it to be.

What can a reader expect to gain by reading this book? What makes it different from most other transformational or self-help books out there? So many wonderful teachers tell us about working on our spiritual selves. So many other wonderful teachers show us how to work on our psycho-emotional selves. But very few actually integrate the two. And Rewiring the Soul is my response to that challenge. Rewiring the Soul brings together the need to take your daily life in hand with the need to put your spiritual life in order as well. By daily life I mean your personal life, your professional life, the way you do or do not love yourself and all that such an attitude entails: conscious awareness, healthy boundaries, meaning in your life, recognizing you always have a choice, and taking responsibility for all your choices, etc., and by spiritual life I mean the inner connection to your eternal self.

If you have learned how to meditate, or do yoga, or whatever it is that you do, have you also learned how to observe yourself in the middle of an argument with your rebellious teenage son or your angry partner and hence choose to react differently because you have learned to love yourself enough to do so? If you have learned how to communicate more effectively with your children, spouse, friends, colleagues or employees, have you also learned how to be mindful and connect to yourself in meaningful ways to achieve that spiritual balance in your life?

While Rewiring the Soul is about so much more than that, those previous examples give an idea of what my book is about and how it does so in such a way that our psychological and spiritual selves nurture each other.

In a nutshell: neither the spiritual nor the psychological or emotional dimensions of your life will work if you neglect:
  • your inner connection to the eternal self while you seek happiness in the outer world
  • your happiness in the outer world while you seek the connection to the inner eternal self

It was Goethe who said "If everyone will sweep in front of their own door, soon the entire world will be clean". In Rewiring the Soul 'sweeping in front of your own door' means bringing yourself to the utmost point of inner and outer growth, creating progress in body, mind, and soul. This literally means that you have already begun to change the world because of how you are changing yourself.

Are there many exercises in the book? Not at all. This book does not mean hard work, or spending a lot of time doing specific things. It simply means that as you read - if you so desire - you begin to incorporate small changes into your daily life. And so it begins. And the quality of your life changes...

How did you come to write this book? For years the essential content of Rewiring the Soul was like a small, recurring voice in my head; it was always there, and simply would not leave me alone. I had dozens of excuses for not writing it: I was working on my Ph.D. in psychology, I was teaching at a state university, I had three sons, later I was occupied with moving back to Spain, I was setting up my private practice, I had a monthly newsletter to write in English and Spanish, I had a weekly one-hour radio show to broadcast, I had a daily blog post to write, I facilitated numerous workshops and gave frequent speeches, and apart from all of this busy activity and work, sometimes I even had a life. In short, I told myself the book would simply have to wait. But just as a splinter under your skin eventually needs to be seen to, I ultimately realized that the only way I was going to be able to honor the more and more loudly clamoring voice in my head - and heart - was to sit down and write the book.

And you know, that goes to meaning. We all need meaning in our lives, and although I had many things that gave much significance to my life already, the inner urging and excitement I felt each time I thought about Rewiring the Soul compelled me to write the book. Rumi puts it beautifully: "When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy".

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The Tao of Spiritual Partnership: Background Music in Daily Life That Can Enhance Your Growth


The Tao of Spiritual Partnership is also available in print and Kindle formats.

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

From the Description on Amazon: More exciting than any other kind of relationship you have ever known, spiritual partnership is a path, a Tao, available to you so that you may transform your life. Spiritual partnership becomes background music to daily life allowing you to enhance the process of your growth and evolution.

This ground-breaking book addresses:

• relationship patterns that hold you back from a truly fulfilled life
• the strong connection between sexuality and spiritual partnership
• communication leading to true connection & lasting transformation of your relationship

It is precisely at the problematic crossroads so often encountered in relationships that we are offered the opportunity to create a new foundation based on mutual complementarity rather than need; a free relationship between two people who want to be together, rather than two people who need to be together. Needing another, we are told, is the measure of love, but for a fully conscious individual nothing could be further from the truth. And therein lies part of the secret and healing power of spiritual partnerships. 


Praise for The Tao of Spiritual Partnership 

“All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come." 
Chris Griscom: Spiritual Leader, Author 

“Eloquently and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion.” 

Robert Schwartz: Author of Your Soul’s Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born 


*******************************

The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self


My new book: The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self, is due out later this year. Here is a brief excerpt from the Introduction:

It is your right to live a life of love. It is your right to understand that loving yourself first is not a selfish way of behavior, but one that allows you to live that life of love. However, it's highly probable that you never got the instruction manual explaining exactly how to accomplish this. Possibly your family - and it may have been a loving family - considered loving the self an act of selfishness. Or perhaps the members of your family simply didn't practice loving the self, and of course, what you didn't see - what was not shown to you - while you were growing up, meant that you just didn't learn how to apply it to yourself. The closer you are able to move towards loving yourself, the closer you will be to living a life of love - quite independently of whether you are in a love relationship or not. A life of love can be lived with or without a partnership, because a life of love implies that you know that it all begins with you by loving the self. The more clearly you understand how to love yourself, the more clearly you will see that it is very hard - if not impossible - to love others in ways that are unrelated to fulfilling any of your needs. Loving yourself first is - for so many of us - one of the hardest things we will ever learn how to do. But know this: the benefits affect you in every particle of your being - body, mind, and soul - and are greater than you will ever be able to imagine.



Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is The Tao of Spiritual Partnership, so named for my new book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

Thursday, September 26, 2013

Decorating From the Inside Out


We have stringent habits of hygiene for our bodies, teeth and hair. We spend much time ensuring our hair and face look good before we hit the road. We spend exorbitant amounts of money on the latest fashion - not only to look good - but also to look as though we belong (i.e., fashionable). And so we decorate ourselves on the outside.

Do you see how ludicrous that is? Oh, I don't mean that it's ludicrous or wrong to be clean and dress well, but that it's ludicrous that we start our decorating process from the outside, as opposed to from the inside.

We want our lives to be filled with peace and harmony, but we only spend a fraction of the time that we spend on that outer decorating process as compared to the time we spend on the inner one. Decorating yourself from the inside out literally means that the intention to work magic on the inside must be strong, and that this intention translates into time and consistency spent on that inner decoration.

How does your house come to be as beautiful as it is? Probably one of the reasons is because you have devoted time and love to it, even if you did it on a shoestring and went from garage sale to flea market in order to find beautiful pieces that you then restored. Devotion, love and time are elements that you also require for the inner process. You simply would not expect your hair, your clothes, your face, your body, etc. to look good without some effort, and so you also can not expect your inner self to shine without time, love and devotion.

Think of your inner self as the part of you that will never grow old. As the part of you that will always be. Doesn't it make more sense to spend at least as much love, time and devotion on decorating that part of yourself, as you do on the outer part? Isn't that who you really are? Or do you actually believe that you are the wrinkles (or perhaps no wrinkles yet) on your face, or the designer label of clothing you wear? And if that inner part is who you really are, then that part of you deserves attention, time, devotion and love. Care for it at least as much as you care for the state of your skin or hair or nails. Grow it, decorate it, and care for it every single day of your life. Having a good hair day is great. Having a good life of inner peace, joy, harmony and freedom is priceless.


For more about seeking the connection to the self, about self-discovery and self-love, and about taking charge of your thoughts and emotions and about the self-transformational process - both in your outer life in the world, and in your inner life with your connection to your inner, divine self, have a look at my book Rewiring the Soul: Finding the Possible Self (paperback or e-book).

To download the first chapter, click here

From the Description on Amazon: Ask anyone, whatever their circumstances, if their life is vibrant, fulfilling, harmonious and happy. An honest reply is likely to be 'no', because to answer a truthful 'yes' is no mean feat. Only to grow psychologically and emotionally is not enough. And only to grow spiritually is not enough either. All three dimensions need to be developed in order to realize your full potential. If you are willing to assume total responsibility for the self and to start what is an on-going journey, you will quickly begin to glimpse the first fruits of the ultimate goal: inner well-being, freedom, peace, harmony and joy. This book sets out the pathway to self-mastery and self-discovery and walking that pathway will be the most exciting adventure of your life.

******************************************

The Tao of Spiritual Partnership: Background Music in Daily Life That Can Enhance Your Growth


The Tao of Spiritual Partnership is also available in print and Kindle formats.

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

From the Description on Amazon: More exciting than any other kind of relationship you have ever known, spiritual partnership is a path, a Tao, available to you so that you may transform your life. Spiritual partnership becomes background music to daily life allowing you to enhance the process of your growth and evolution.

This ground-breaking book addresses:

• relationship patterns that hold you back from a truly fulfilled life
• the strong connection between sexuality and spiritual partnership
• communication leading to true connection & lasting transformation of your relationship

It is precisely at the problematic crossroads so often encountered in relationships that we are offered the opportunity to create a new foundation based on mutual complementarity rather than need; a free relationship between two people who want to be together, rather than two people who need to be together. Needing another, we are told, is the measure of love, but for a fully conscious individual nothing could be further from the truth. And therein lies part of the secret and healing power of spiritual partnerships. 


Praise for The Tao of Spiritual Partnership 

“All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come." 
Chris Griscom: Spiritual Leader, Author 

“Eloquently and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion.” 

Robert Schwartz: Author of Your Soul’s Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born 


*******************************

The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self


My new book: The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self, is due out later this year. Here is a brief excerpt from the Introduction:

It is your right to live a life of love. It is your right to understand that loving yourself first is not a selfish way of behavior, but one that allows you to live that life of love. However, it's highly probable that you never got the instruction manual explaining exactly how to accomplish this. Possibly your family - and it may have been a loving family - considered loving the self an act of selfishness. Or perhaps the members of your family simply didn't practice loving the self, and of course, what you didn't see - what was not shown to you - while you were growing up, meant that you just didn't learn how to apply it to yourself. The closer you are able to move towards loving yourself, the closer you will be to living a life of love - quite independently of whether you are in a love relationship or not. A life of love can be lived with or without a partnership, because a life of love implies that you know that it all begins with you by loving the self. The more clearly you understand how to love yourself, the more clearly you will see that it is very hard - if not impossible - to love others in ways that are unrelated to fulfilling any of your needs. Loving yourself first is - for so many of us - one of the hardest things we will ever learn how to do. But know this: the benefits affect you in every particle of your being - body, mind, and soul - and are greater than you will ever be able to imagine.



Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is The Tao of Spiritual Partnership, so named for my new book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Irritation Is Illuminating



Do this exercise quickly: make a list of habits and character traits of others that most annoy you. Even perhaps some others with whom you haven't got a particular relationship, but when that kind of person shows up at the office, in the neighbourhood, or at a dinner party, you can feel your annoyance engorging, your hackles rise, your irritation increases, and in general, you just know that you very much dislike having a person like that around you.

Perhaps some of the habits and traits you dislike look like this (and of course there are hundreds more):
  • being weak and helpless
  • always being helpful
  • never helping
  • always being gay and joyous
  • always being pessimistic
  • knowing more than others
  • knowing very little
  • being domineering
  • being loud
  • being quiet
  • being subservient
  • being harsh
  • being abrupt
  • being overly explanatory
  • complaining
  • self-involved
  • impatient
Now here's the thing: any behavior or attitude or trait or habit of another that evokes affect (emotion) in me, tells me something about me, and not about the other. That is to say: the other may be any of the above things (or other, far worse things), but the point of this little exercise is to make you see that as soon as an emotion of annoyance, irritation, etc., arises within you, it is telling you something about you, as opposed to proving that the other is a this or a that. If you were not involved in this, none of your emotions would surface. The whole thing simply would not matter to you. The fact that your emotions do surface, means it does matter to you because there is something in you that is affected by this behavior of the other, that you need to take a look at. Because the inner place in which you wish to be is a place where the behavior of others does not have the power to affect you in this way. Not because you do not care, but because you are in a place of inner awareness and balance. Therefore, it means that when these emotions arise, they should be taken as indications of something in me that I need to look at, and hence, they can be illuminating and helpful to my own growth. Jung put it like this: Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.

What is irritating you about another person today? And what do you intend to do about it?

Image: Umbria, Italy

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Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is available globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.


Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English). Available globally in paperback or Kindle e-book versions


Bücher von Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (Deutsch) ... JETZT bei Amazon (Taschenbuch oder E-Book) erhaltbar 
DEINE SEELE UND DU
  

Angefangen mit Rewiring the Soul - auf Deutsch: Deine Seele und Du, jetzt weltweit erhaltbar als Taschenbuch oder Kindle E-Book (Blog hier), werden auch meine anderen Bücher in Zukunft auf Deutsch bei Amazon erhaltbar sein.

Libros por Gabriella Kortsch (español) ... próximamente en Amazon en versión bolsillo y E-Libro para Kindle


Empezando con Rewiring the Soul - en español: Reconectar con el Alma (blog aquí), se podrán encontrar mis libros en español por todo el mundo próximamente en Amazon.

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is The Tao of Spiritual Partnership, so named for another one of my books. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed. 

My blog posts are also featured on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, Pinterest & you can find me on Instagram 

Friday, September 20, 2013

The Authenticity of Being You


Most of us have heard someone refer to the company they work for, saying how excited they are to be working on the team, or to be a part of the company in question, and while I don't doubt that many of these statements are true, I also don't doubt that many are not. It's part of our culture to speak that way, and therefore many people say the right words in order to fit in.

Whether your fitting in has to do with your profession, your social set, your clique at your high school, or the ladies you lunch with, whether this fitting in has to do with the people you are on a cruise with, or at a cocktail party with, or whether it has to do with what you say when you participate in mass or a satsang, the important thing is how you feel as you do this fitting in.

How you feel can be determined in first instance by your gut, that second brain I referred to in an article originally published in 2004 and republished here in 2011: Introducing Our Second and Third Brains: We Do Think With Our Heart and Instinct, because your gut will let you know something is amiss (i.e., you are not being authentic to yourself) by some discomfort or twinging, and you may, in second instance, feel a similar twinging or discomfort in your heart, that third brain, or even in your psyche or soul if you are already attuned to it.

It's important to pay attention to those gut and/or intuitive messages - if being authentic or growing to be authentic is important to you - because if you don't change what you say at one point in your day when you feel said twinges, you will merely strengthen the inauthentic parts of you. This is not to encourage you to speak poorly of your firm (should the 'excitement' referred to in the first paragraph not be genuine), but to reflect on what it does to you to not be authentic. You might say it's like having a tiny bit of arsenic each day, and that, of course, will eventually do you in.

Authenticity is best practiced first in your personal life - although that can also be very difficult. Do you 
have that need to say or do what others say or do in order to feel accepted? Examine yourself and your life very carefully in this regard, because the less authentic you feel, as indicated above, the more the inner quality of your life can deteriorate.

This is a subject I've written about before, because it continues to be so important. Many people have lost touch with their own authenticity because they are so busy trying to fit in that they no longer listen to that inner voice. Trying to fit in is not a bad thing - it's simply something many of us get roped into without realizing it, beginning in our school systems (global), where it is so very painful to feel that you don't belong. The price we pay for belonging tends to be much higher than the brief benefit we get from feeling accepted. This, as so much else, has much to do with how well we love, accept, honor, and approve of ourselves.



For more about being authentic and true to yourself, and how awareness about this can move you into a life of greater inner peace, well-being, and joy, have a look at my book Rewiring the Soul: Finding the Possible Self (paperback or Kindle).

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

Reviews From the Back Cover:

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, Director, Center for Sacred Theatre, Ashland, Oregon; author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre

"Rewiring the Soul is one the best introductions to the spiritual life I've ever read. Not esoteric but real-world & practical. The implications are profound." Peter Shepherd; Founder Trans4mind.com; author: Daring To Be Yourself 

"The human being's directory to the soul. A breakthrough for those seeking practical assistance, those of a more mystical bent & every soul awaiting discovery." Toni Petrinovich, Ph.D.; author: The Call: Awakening the Angelic Human


******************************************

The Tao of Spiritual Partnership: Background Music in Daily Life That Can Enhance Your Growth


The Tao of Spiritual Partnership is also available in print and Kindle formats.

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

From the Description on Amazon: More exciting than any other kind of relationship you have ever known, spiritual partnership is a path, a Tao, available to you so that you may transform your life. Spiritual partnership becomes background music to daily life allowing you to enhance the process of your growth and evolution.

This ground-breaking book addresses:

• relationship patterns that hold you back from a truly fulfilled life
• the strong connection between sexuality and spiritual partnership
• communication leading to true connection & lasting transformation of your relationship

It is precisely at the problematic crossroads so often encountered in relationships that we are offered the opportunity to create a new foundation based on mutual complementarity rather than need; a free relationship between two people who want to be together, rather than two people who need to be together. Needing another, we are told, is the measure of love, but for a fully conscious individual nothing could be further from the truth. And therein lies part of the secret and healing power of spiritual partnerships. 


Praise for The Tao of Spiritual Partnership 

“All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come." 
Chris Griscom: Spiritual Leader, Author 

“Eloquently and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion.” 

Robert Schwartz: Author of Your Soul’s Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born 


*******************************

The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self


My new book: The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self, is due out later this year. Here is a brief excerpt from the Introduction:

It is your right to live a life of love. It is your right to understand that loving yourself first is not a selfish way of behavior, but one that allows you to live that life of love. However, it's highly probable that you never got the instruction manual explaining exactly how to accomplish this. Possibly your family - and it may have been a loving family - considered loving the self an act of selfishness. Or perhaps the members of your family simply didn't practice loving the self, and of course, what you didn't see - what was not shown to you - while you were growing up, meant that you just didn't learn how to apply it to yourself. The closer you are able to move towards loving yourself, the closer you will be to living a life of love - quite independently of whether you are in a love relationship or not. A life of love can be lived with or without a partnership, because a life of love implies that you know that it all begins with you by loving the self. The more clearly you understand how to love yourself, the more clearly you will see that it is very hard - if not impossible - to love others in ways that are unrelated to fulfilling any of your needs. Loving yourself first is - for so many of us - one of the hardest things we will ever learn how to do. But know this: the benefits affect you in every particle of your being - body, mind, and soul - and are greater than you will ever be able to imagine.



Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is The Tao of Spiritual Partnership, so named for my new book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

The Absolutely Best Way To Help Your Children Grow Into Exceptional Adults


We send our kids to the best schools we can afford. We send them to immersion courses during the summer in other countries to perfect their foreign language skills. We make sure their food is nutritious, we organize tennis lessons, piano lessons, private tutors and if they need it, we send them to expensive dermatologists to help with their acne. We buy over-priced school and sports uniforms; we give in to their pleas for the latest fashion or technology craze, and it is abundantly clear that we love them very much and want the very best for them.

Yes. Not a doubt in my mind about it.

But today I wanted to discuss other aspects of helping them grow up well. And all of these have to do with us. Not with them.

Happiness

What does your own happiness depend on? Do you need your external circumstances to be just so in order to be happy? Or have you found the way to being happy no matter what the external circumstances? In other words, have you worked on yourself enough to depend on yourself for your happiness? What a wonderful gift to give your children! Can you do this?

Self-Awareness

How self aware are you? How well do you really know yourself? What are the buttons that trigger your reactions? Do you then act on those blind reactions or are you so self-aware that you are able to choose to remain conscious? If you do not remain conscious when your buttons are pushed, and you become reactive (you react blindly), you are teaching something as harmful to your children as you would be if you were giving them drugs.

Making Choices & Self Responsibility

What kind of choices do you make? How much responsibility do you take for resolving your own issues? When you make your choices – every day – during your entire life, do you remember to be aware in order to recognize that at each step of the way you always have alternatives? Do you remember that you are responsible for everything you feel, think, say, and do? In other words, you need not yell, you need not cry, you need not despair, you need not fear, you need not resort to anger, because you always have another alternative. Do you know how to live in such a way that the alternative you choose is the one that creates most well-being for you, and hence – by ripple effect – for those that live with you? If you do this – and consistently show it to your children – you are giving them a great gift.

Healthy Boundaries & Loving the Self

Are you free of codependence, manipulation, and enmeshment? No? I really did not expect you to say yes, you know. But it is very important that you recognize that some or all of these continue to form part of your life. That’s called being aware. Then, deciding to do something about them is called making choices and being responsible for the self.

Here’s how it works: you fall into some of your old traps, like noting codependent behavior with your spouse, sibling, parent, or anyone else, or like realizing you have once again attempted to manipulate someone … perhaps your child, in order to create the behavior you desire in a specific situation. If you are doing this, and if you are aware of it, recognize also that you are teaching your child behavior that will fetter him to self-destructive and negative ways of dealing with life. You can change this by giving your child the gift of your change. Working on yourself will bring this about.
  
Blaming Others & Being A Victim

Do you tend to blame others? Are you a victim of events or people in your life? Can you forgive? What you show your child by one or the other mode of behavior, will, in some ways, determine his/her chance at happiness now and in the future. Learn not to blame – no matter what - stop being a victim – no matter what - and begin to forgive – no matter what - in order to teach all of this to your child by virtue of your own example!

Walking Your Talk

Do you walk your talk? Do you say one thing and do another? Are you authentic? Are you really the way you portray yourself to be? Do you actually know who that is? This goes back to self awareness. It goes to meaning. It is implicit in happiness. Discover yourself because only if you do that, can you really walk your talk and in the process show your child what it means to be authentic.

Is There a Meaning In Your Life?

What is the central meaning of your life? Is there passion in your life, in that which gives meaning to it? Does your energy soar (not only your physical energy, but in particular, you inner energy, your psycho-emotional energy, the way you feel yourself vibrate inside) when you involve yourself with whatever it is that gives meaning to your life? Having this; finding this, implementing this, and then truly living it is one of the greatest gifts you can give your child as a role model he or she can follow.

Living in the Now

Are you always reliving past glories? Or past hurts? Or are you always counting the time until something special will happen – that raise at work, your vacation, the weekend, etc.? In other words, are you always living at any time other than the present? If so, recognize what you are teaching your child. This is the cause of much unhappiness in the lives of so many. Don’t let your child be one of them. Teach him/her something different by learning to remain in the present yourself. Become aware of all the now moments you are losing and begin to systematically change this in order to make your life so much better and in the process give your child the gift of the now.

Transparency

Be open with your children! Show them that you can make mistakes, or that you can learn from them. Show them that you are open to being open, and that you invite openness from them, no matter what they want to confide in you! Doing this is both easy and hard. It’s easy because it is really just a question of choosing to be like this, but it’s hard because in order to be like this, you must also choose to become self-aware and conscious at all times, choose to make yourself responsible for all that you feel, think, say, and do, and hence choose to work on all the those aspects that complicate this as discussed in previous sections of this article.

Love Has the Greatest Priority in Your Relationships

Remember this: the love you have for your child (newborn, toddler, teenager or adult child) must come before all other considerations. When there is a problem, in particular, an ego problem, for example, where one of you insists on being right, and as long as the other does not acquiesce to the rightness of that one, the relationship is on hold, you must remember that the love you have for each other – or even just the love you have for your child (in the event that at this particular moment your child has forgotten he loves you) – must be greater than the need to be right, or than the need for the problem to be resolved the way you think it ought to be.

Putting It All Together

Look within, work on yourself, become congruent, love yourself and realize that every positive thing you do in order to improve yourself will have a ripple effect on the lives of all those you touch.

You have so many gifts to give your child. No one expects you to be perfect. But you can start the road towards the goal of growth, self awareness, and loving yourself by beginning today with the first step. That first step is simply remembering to be conscious, and when you forget, forgiving yourself for forgetting, but praising yourself for at least having remembered that you forgot to remember to be conscious. And then doing it all over again … the more time you spend being conscious, the more quickly you will reach the goal of your own inner freedom, and the more quickly you will reach the goal of being able to offer your child the gift of your example with all of this.



For more about your relationships with your children, but most importantly, your relationship with yourself, and how awareness about this can move you into a life of greater inner peace, well-being, and joy, have a look at my book Rewiring the Soul: Finding the Possible Self (paperback or Kindle).

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

Reviews From the Back Cover:

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, Director, Center for Sacred Theatre, Ashland, Oregon; author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre

"Rewiring the Soul is one the best introductions to the spiritual life I've ever read. Not esoteric but real-world & practical. The implications are profound." Peter Shepherd; Founder Trans4mind.com; author: Daring To Be Yourself 

"The human being's directory to the soul. A breakthrough for those seeking practical assistance, those of a more mystical bent & every soul awaiting discovery." Toni Petrinovich, Ph.D.; author: The Call: Awakening the Angelic Human


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The Tao of Spiritual Partnership: Background Music in Daily Life That Can Enhance Your Growth


The Tao of Spiritual Partnership is also available in print and Kindle formats.

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

From the Description on Amazon: More exciting than any other kind of relationship you have ever known, spiritual partnership is a path, a Tao, available to you so that you may transform your life. Spiritual partnership becomes background music to daily life allowing you to enhance the process of your growth and evolution.

This ground-breaking book addresses:

• relationship patterns that hold you back from a truly fulfilled life
• the strong connection between sexuality and spiritual partnership
• communication leading to true connection & lasting transformation of your relationship

It is precisely at the problematic crossroads so often encountered in relationships that we are offered the opportunity to create a new foundation based on mutual complementarity rather than need; a free relationship between two people who want to be together, rather than two people who need to be together. Needing another, we are told, is the measure of love, but for a fully conscious individual nothing could be further from the truth. And therein lies part of the secret and healing power of spiritual partnerships. 


Praise for The Tao of Spiritual Partnership 

“All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come." 
Chris Griscom: Spiritual Leader, Author 

“Eloquently and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion.” 

Robert Schwartz: Author of Your Soul’s Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born 


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The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self


My new book: The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self, is due out later this year. Here is a brief excerpt from the Introduction:

It is your right to live a life of love. It is your right to understand that loving yourself first is not a selfish way of behavior, but one that allows you to live that life of love. However, it's highly probable that you never got the instruction manual explaining exactly how to accomplish this. Possibly your family - and it may have been a loving family - considered loving the self an act of selfishness. Or perhaps the members of your family simply didn't practice loving the self, and of course, what you didn't see - what was not shown to you - while you were growing up, meant that you just didn't learn how to apply it to yourself. The closer you are able to move towards loving yourself, the closer you will be to living a life of love - quite independently of whether you are in a love relationship or not. A life of love can be lived with or without a partnership, because a life of love implies that you know that it all begins with you by loving the self. The more clearly you understand how to love yourself, the more clearly you will see that it is very hard - if not impossible - to love others in ways that are unrelated to fulfilling any of your needs. Loving yourself first is - for so many of us - one of the hardest things we will ever learn how to do. But know this: the benefits affect you in every particle of your being - body, mind, and soul - and are greater than you will ever be able to imagine.



Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is The Tao of Spiritual Partnership, so named for my new book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

Monday, September 16, 2013

¡ VIVIR TU MEJOR VIDA ! (En español) Temporada 2013-2014




Reuniones semanales para apoyar tu crecimiento y bienestar


con
Dra. Gabriella Kortsch
Psicoterapeuta Integral / Coaching de Pareja/ Practicante de EFT

Autora de los siguientes libros en inglés:

The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self (se publicará en Octubre 2013)


¡ Vivir tu Mejor Vida !


Las sesiones semanales de 2013 empiezan el miércoles, 25 de septiembre

El fin del grupo es de mejorar tu vida aportando conceptos, métodos y herramientas para que tu estado de armonía, paz interior, felicidad y bienestar se vaya optimizando.

Todos merecemos vivir nuestra mejor vida. Merecemos felicidad, armonía, alegría y paz interior. Entonces ¿por qué no vivimos nuestra mejor vida, y por qué no experimentamos tales estados? En los colegios nos enseñan a leer y escribir, nos hablan de matemáticas, geografía e historia, pero por regla general no nos hablan de la vida ni nos enseñan cómo vivirla. A veces lo hacen nuestros padres, pero a menudo tampoco es el caso. Este grupo de apoyo ha sido diseñado para cambiar eso.

¿Ocurren algunas de las situaciones descritas a continuación en tu vida?
  •  Estrés en las relación de pareja e incluso ruptura de la misma
  •  Estrés económico
  •  Enfermedad (en tu propia vida, o la de alguien cercano)
  •  Comunicación que dejà mucho que desear con tus padres o hijos
  •  Preocupación o desesperación debido a:
    • Miedo al envejecimiento 
    • Vida sin satisfacción
    • Depresión
    • Soledad
    • Aburrimiento
    • Deseo de cambio
    • Falta de progreso y éxito
Este grupo semanal de charla y apoyo comenzará el miércoles, 25 de septiembre de 2013. Lo que es nuevo es que no se enfoca en un problema específico, sino que precisamente porque se enfoca en el crecimiento y bienestar, la promesa de este grupo es que te ayudará a conseguir lidiar con cualquier problema. El camino que lleva a la paz interior y exterior, y hacia el bienestar es un camino que siempre te sirve, sin importar el tipo de situación que estés confrontando.

No hará falta que compartas detalles personales en ningún momento si no lo deseas. El grupo comenzará a las 19:30 y durará hasta aproximadamente las 21:00. Durante los primeros 30-40 minutos presentaré el tema de la semana, y a continuación tendremos una charla sobre el mismo para facilitar a ayudar a entender los métodos, conceptos, y herramientas que han sido presentados, y la manera en que puedan ser incorporados a tu vida de inmediato.

Si te interesa participar, puedes venir a cualquiera de las charlas - y aunque se recomienda que asistas a tantas como te sea posible, sencillamente dado que cada uno ha sido diseñada para ayudarte a seguir ese camino hacia la paz interior y exterior, así como la alegría, felicidad y el bienestar - no hay, sin embargo, ningún número mínimo de asistencia.

Las charlas se anunciarán semanalmente por correo electrónico, pero a partir del correo de hoy, solo recibirás los demás correos si has asistido a alguna charla, o has indicado que deseas recibir tal correo (aunque de momento no asistas a las charlas).

Hay un gasto de participación de 10 € por sesión. Se ruega que llegues con la cantidad exacta. (Si el costo es un problema, contáctame de carácter privado).

Se ruega que hagas lo posible por llegar puntualmente entre las 7:15 y las 7:30 antes del comienzo de la reunión. Llegando más tarde interrumpirá el flujo del grupo. El lugar de encuentro es el Edificio Iiwi-A-25, Calle 25, Guadalmina Alta (cerca del Cable Ski en Guadalmina y el Passion Café en San Pedro). Si te hacen falta indicaciones exactas para llegar, envíame un correo.

NOTA: 

Si te interesa participar en cualquiera de las reuniones, se ruega que envíes un correo de confirmación de asistencia antes del martes a las 21h, día anterior a la reunión del miércoles que te interesa asistir a info@advancedpersonaltherapy.com  Si luego cambian tus planes, se ruega igualmente que me avises para dar tu lugar a otra persona, ya que el espacio es limitado. 


PROGRAMA DE TEMAS

2013

Septiembre 

Sept. 25           Pensamientos: ¿Te controlan a ti? ¿O los puedes llegar a controlar tú?

Octubre

Oct. 2               SIEMPRE puedes elegir
Oct. 9               La felicidad: Vivirla a diario
Oct. 16             Límites malsanos: ¿Hacen que tu vida se vuelva imposible?
Oct. 23             La absoluta importancia de ser consciente de ti mismo
Oct. 30             ¿Quién tiene la culpa por los problemas en tu vida?

Noviembre 

Nov. 6              Tu zona de confort: Sabotea tu vida
Nov. 13            La preocupación: Algunos métodos para resolverla 
Nov. 20            Usando tus emociones para conseguir mayor libertad  
Nov. 27            Controlando a los demás

Diciembre 

Dec. 4              Libertad de los celos  
Dec. 11            Saber llevar tu propio enfado e ira
Dec. 18            No hay reunión
Dec. 25            No hay reunión 

2014 

Enero 

Enero 1            No hay reunión
Enero 8            Cumplir esas resoluciones de Año Nuevo  
Enero 15          Los espejos de tu vida 
Enero 22          Aprender a comunicar: Más conscientemente y con mayor eficacia
Enero 29          Tomando responsabilidad por ti mismo 

Febrero 

Feb. 5              Pasos para llevarte al amor hacia ti mismo
Feb. 11            Buscando un significado en tu vida
Feb. 18            Lo que puedes aprender cuando te encuentras echando la culpa a los demás
Feb. 25            Conseguir perdonar

Marzo 

Marzo  5           ¿Por qué nos quejamos?
Marzo 12          Adquiriendo el hábito de la alegría
Marzo 19          Los vampiros emocionales en nuestra vida
Marzo 26          La mala conciencia 

Abril 

Abril 2              Venciendo el dolor emocional 
Abril 9              Echando un vistazo a tus adicciones (¡TODOS las tenemos!) 
Abril 16            No hay reunión
Abril 23            Usando el fracaso de manera positiva en cualquier sector de tu vida
Abril 30            Que seas bendecido: Aprender a ser compasivo

Mayo 

Mayo 7              Empezar a vivir en el momento presente 
Mayo 14            El peligro de hacerles caso a los 'susurros' 
Mayo 21            ¿Cuál es la verdad que te cuentas?
Mayo 28            No hay reunión

Junio

Junio 4              Creando mejores relaciones con nuestros hijos
Junio 11            Los 3 cerebros: Saber usarlos todos
Junio 18            ¿Examinar tu pasado o cambiar tu presente? 
Junio 25            Elegir donde enfocar tu atención

Julio

Julio 2               La sexualidad en las relaciones de pareja 
Julio 9               Lo que debes de hacer  
Julio 16             Elegir el amor en vez del miedo
Julio 23             ¿Tienes la intención de amar? 
Julio 30             Co-creando y planificando nuestra vida