Being ruled by fear necessitates a negative charge to daily life. It means - in simple terms - that you are not confident that you will be fine no matter what occurs. In other words, you are fearful of some things happening, essentially because you believe - you fear - that if they happen, you will suffer. Exactly what those events are that you fear may vary from person to person to such a degree that what John fears most is something that Simon does not fear at all, and yet what Simon fears, is something that John considers a simple challenge that can easily be surmounted. Living a life where at some point - most likely some subconscious point - you chose fear over love does not mean that you are a coward or a wimp. This is not about courage. It is about understanding some elementary aspects about the goodness of life and about believing in the self the way one does when one has established a relationship with the self. And you only ever do that if you have begun the process of loving the self.
The fact of the matter is that those things that we fear - as long as we continue to fear - can never be fully enumerated, because we have no way of knowing what we may have to face at the next turn of the road. Fear - in this sense - implies wishing to control that which we may encounter, and as said, it is never possible to control everything that we might encounter, because we simply don't know what we will encounter at any given time.
At this point the choice for love and trust in the self may - if we are conscious enough - enter the equation.
Love has to do with confidence, with caring for the self and with knowing that because you care for the self, you are able to handle things as they arise in your life - even when those things are difficult or painful. More than anything, above all, and in the very first instance, choosing love has to do with loving the self and because of this love having the firm inner conviction that you can deal with any of the cards that life throws you. That does not mean, by the way, that you will always win or always be successful, or always get what you want. It simply means that no matter what happens, you will be able to deal with it in such a way that your inner well being remains on an even keel. Even if you are Nelson Mandela and spending 27 years locked up in Robben Island, and even if you are Victor Frankl imprisoned in Auschwitz, or even if you are Aimée Mullens and had both legs amputated when you were five.
This inner conviction does not come about just in an instance. Let's say you have lived your life driven by fear to this point. You've attempted - often unsuccessfully - to exert a measure of control over those outer circumstances that threaten to throw your well-being off center. You are ruled - to a degree - by the subliminal fear or knowledge that you are not able to control your life, and hence you don't know how you will be if something bad happens.You don´t know if you will be able to deal with, or even bear the circumstances - whatever they may be. This creates – if not outright fear, since fear is such a strong emotion – at least a continual sensation of discomfort in your skin, so to speak. Something about you, concerning your life and the way you live does not feel at ease.
The process of moving from a fear-ruled life in the sense described above to a love-ruled life always begins with the recognition of the need to learn how to love the self. By loving the self, fear gradually begins to dissipate because the individual whose life is ruled by love and who has chosen love as the primary benchmark for how he lives his life, is an individual for whom fear – of dis-ease - no longer looms large as it does for the person who has not yet made such choices.
I imagine you are inundated with advice from every angle in your life and so I merely wish to leave you with several thoughts:
- Choosing love over fear signifies that you view your life from the vantage point of goodness, love, strength and hope, as well as peace, love and harmony, as opposed to fear, competition, one-up-man-ship, and the need to prove that something about you, your life or what you do is more right than that of another individual.
- Choosing love over fear means every situation always brings you to a win-win end result.
- Choosing love over fear as a modus operandi for your life; a way to live your life will literally change everything for you.
- Choosing love over fear will also change the effect you have on all those whose lives you touch and so YOU will actively - and most literally - contribute to change our world.
Choose love. Choose it for you, your loved ones, your neighbourhood, your community, your nation and your world. We are all in this together and we can all contribute to making this change. All it takes is all of us choosing love over fear. Remember that we are all one and that what affects one of us, affects us all.
For more about choosing love and how this can move you to greater awareness, inner peace, well-being, success, and joy, have a look at my book Rewiring the Soul: Finding the Possible Self (paperback or Kindle).
To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here
Reviews From the Back Cover:
"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, Director, Center for Sacred Theatre, Ashland, Oregon; author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre
"Rewiring the Soul is one the best introductions to the spiritual life I've ever read. Not esoteric but real-world & practical. The implications are profound." Peter Shepherd; Founder Trans4mind.com; author: Daring To Be Yourself
"The human being's directory to the soul. A breakthrough for those seeking practical assistance, those of a more mystical bent & every soul awaiting discovery." Toni Petrinovich, Ph.D.; author: The Call: Awakening the Angelic Human
The Tao of Spiritual Partnership: Background Music in Daily Life That Can Enhance Your Growth
The Tao of Spiritual Partnership is also available in print and Kindle formats.
To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here
From the Description on Amazon: More exciting than any other kind of relationship you have ever known, spiritual partnership is a path, a Tao, available to you so that you may transform your life. Spiritual partnership becomes background music to daily life allowing you to enhance the process of your growth and evolution.
This ground-breaking book addresses:
• relationship patterns that hold you back from a truly fulfilled life
• the strong connection between sexuality and spiritual partnership
• communication leading to true connection & lasting transformation of your relationship
It is precisely at the problematic crossroads so often encountered in relationships that we are offered the opportunity to create a new foundation based on mutual complementarity rather than need; a free relationship between two people who want to be together, rather than two people who need to be together. Needing another, we are told, is the measure of love, but for a fully conscious individual nothing could be further from the truth. And therein lies part of the secret and healing power of spiritual partnerships.
Praise for The Tao of Spiritual Partnership
“All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come."
Chris Griscom: Spiritual Leader, Author
“Eloquently and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion.”
Robert Schwartz: Author of Your Soul’s Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born
The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self
My new book: The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self, is due out later this year. Here is a brief excerpt from the Introduction:
It is your right to live a life of love. It is your right to understand that loving yourself first is not a selfish way of behavior, but one that allows you to live that life of love. However, it's highly probable that you never got the instruction manual explaining exactly how to accomplish this. Possibly your family - and it may have been a loving family - considered loving the self an act of selfishness. Or perhaps the members of your family simply didn't practice loving the self, and of course, what you didn't see - what was not shown to you - while you were growing up, meant that you just didn't learn how to apply it to yourself. The closer you are able to move towards loving yourself, the closer you will be to living a life of love - quite independently of whether you are in a love relationship or not. A life of love can be lived with or without a partnership, because a life of love implies that you know that it all begins with you by loving the self. The more clearly you understand how to love yourself, the more clearly you will see that it is very hard - if not impossible - to love others in ways that are unrelated to fulfilling any of your needs. Loving yourself first is - for so many of us - one of the hardest things we will ever learn how to do. But know this: the benefits affect you in every particle of your being - body, mind, and soul - and are greater than you will ever be able to imagine.
Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is The Tao of Spiritual Partnership, so named for my new book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.