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"A revelation of insight into the foundations of human suffering & transcendence. It not only lays out essential steps for inner freedom and joy but illuminates the way to true human potential." Paul Rademacher, author: A Spiritual Hitchhiker's Guide to the Universe

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre

"Rewiring the Soul is one the best introductions to the spiritual life I've ever read. Not esoteric but real-world and practical. The implications are profound." Peter Shepherd, author: Daring To Be Yourself

Friday, August 5, 2011

Distinguishing Between What is Important and What is Your Ego


That's a very long title for a very simple concept.

Back in June, many young people were graduating, whether from high school, from university, or from some graduate school. Obviously proud, they want their parents to attend. And proud parents - logically - also want to attend.

So what happens when the parents have separated or divorced and are at war with one another? Even if many years have passed since the divorce? How do they overcome their dislike, hatred, or desire for revenge about the other partner in order to ensure peace and harmony at this graduation?

Forgive each other, you say? Yes. That would be the ideal solution. And in the long term, the one I'd propose. But here we are, several days before the graduation, and something has to be done in order to make it work, and the parents who are at war with each (whether they have new partners or not), are not yet at a place in their lives where they can even consider forgiving each other because they continue to blame each other. Or perhaps one blames and the other one has forgiven, but either way, it will create a difficult atmosphere for the son or daughter that is graduating (no matter how young or old they are), instead of allowing them to enjoy this day the way they should with no concerns about how their parents will behave in each other's company (even if there is no question of anyone getting aggressive, but merely the fact that there will be iciness between the two, or that they will attempt to ignore each other, or make the other feel bad or slighted, or whatever).

So: back to our title. How does one distinguish between what is important and what is your ego? It's always your ego if it has to do with proving how right you are about something. Simple. So what is important? That your son or daughter has a good day. In peace. Calmly, with no worries about your or your ex-spouse. Allow love to be your motivating force as opposed to your ego. Period.

And that is something you can agree to accomplish even if you are not yet ready to free yourself of this entire burden and forgive.


For more about forgiving and relationships and the ego, read my book: Rewiring the Soul: Finding the Possible Self.



Here's what Peter Shepherd from Trans4mind had to say about the book:

"Rewiring the Soul is one the best introductions to the spiritual life I've ever read. Not esoteric but real-world and practical. Read it and Soul is no longer just a dogma, nor hypothesis, it is made real and as much a part of your being as your toes. We usually shut off our inner voice, yet by recognizing this aspect of ourselves we begin to discover our essential nature, our intuitive truth, and that becomes our loving guide. The author illustrates the limitations of living only as the mind's Ego, and demonstrates in practical terms how we can transcend this by awakening a conscious viewpoint, following the path of our intuition and feelings, no longer separated from our body and the reality around us, and integrating at last our Soul's inner guidance and wellspring of love. The implications are profound." PETER SHEPHERD; Founder Trans4mind - http://www.trans4mind.com/; author of Daring To Be Yourself

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