We've all been told about the Puritan work ethic (see also The Puritan Work Ethic, Wu-Wei, and Is Life Really Meant to be a Struggle?, many of us were raised within the confines of institutional religion, where we are generally taught to not think of ourselves, but of others (and therefore, by deduction, our happiness (see also Intentional Focus, Your Happiness, Your Success and the Law of Attraction) does not come very near the top of the list), most of us have been socialized over the course of our tender years into learning that being selfless is desirable.
But there is a huge difference between being selfish and loving the self enough in order to want to be in a good place inside, to be happy, to have a high energetic frequency, so that life is good, or better said, so that, even when things are not good, one is in a place where one can choose to deal with the stuff that is not so good, or even very bad (see Victor Frankl's "Man's Search For Meaning") in a way that allows one to maintain an inner equilibrium which, while it may not be happiness, is, nevertheless, a place where one can live in peace, despite those outer circumstances.
So this subject of selfishness and love of self is very important for us to understand. I've written quite a bit about it in the past:
- The Only Person You Have to Make Happy Is You
- Love Yourself First
- Finding it Hard to Love Yourself? Check Out Your Boundaries
- Giving Birth To Yourself
- The Absolutely Best Way of Giving to Others
I write a lot about the ripple effect of your life on the life of those who surround you, and I do so because that is precisely the reason why being filled with self love is totally contrary to being selfish. Those who truly love themselves are capable of much greater giving, and can have a much greater positive influence on others, than those who selflessly give and give but who leave their own well-being out of the equation, or at best, it comes way down there somewhere on the list of priorities.
Self love is healthy. And being healthy emotionally, psychologically, spiritually and physically brings you closer to happiness - and much more quickly - than anything I am aware of. You are here to be happy.