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Monday, August 4, 2008

The Hard Task of Forgiving

How can I forgive?

Especially how can I forgive, if what you did to me was so awful? I mean, anyone whom I tell it to, says I am right and that you were simply awful to me. So how can I forgive you? What you did was really dreadful. I suffered so much.

If I forgave you, what would I do with all of that suffering? Just throw it in the trash? Poof ... so simple ... all gone? I can't do that. You hurt me too much. I have to remember it because it was so bad, and if I forgive you it will all be gone.

What are you saying? That I should look at what was done to me as more than just the idea that you hurt me. That I should look at it like it was part of my life growth plan. That every person with whom I come in contact in my life can serve a purpose in my life. No matter what kind of interaction I have with them.

So even if they do something major big-time terrible to me, it can still serve a purpose in my life. So that I can grow into more of what I really am, by dealing with this situation in a way that allows growth, and not in a way that poisons me and keeps me in a prison of hatred or resentment or pain.

But for that to work, I have to look at the painful situation with new eyes. Not so much you hurt me, as how can I grow and learn from this.

How can I begin to look through such new eyes? How can I stop seeing the pain as something I need to hang on to, because it defines who I am up to here in my life?

Simple: choose to do so. Nothing else is needed.

Photo: View to the Costa del Sol from Gaucin (Southern Spain, Malaga Province)

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