Who are the people that you most admire? Pick some that are mainly your own gender. Here are some areas to look at:
- close family
- teachers, mentors
- friends and colleagues
- public figures in politics
- business leaders
- professionals from any walk of life
- artists (authors, painters, sculptors, musicians, composers, singers, etc.)
- characters from history
- characters from literature
- characters from cinema
Now take a sheet of paper and under the name of each of these persons, write what it is that you admire about them (please: no physical characteristics...just qualities of character or behavior).I assume you have written about some very wonderful people, even if they are unknown to all but you. The qualities you admire about them, are probably also very wonderful. Please stop reading if you have not already written out the qualities you admire. This is important. Only go on reading once that is done.
You may find that you have chosen several people whom you admire for very similar reasons, even though one of them might be someone you know personally, one a public figure, and one someone from a book you once read.From the psychological point of view, and in Jungian terms the qualities you admire, that you have written down, say this about you: there are elements of your character that you have not yet recognized, that you don't yet accept as actually forming part of yourself. These are the elements that you admire in others of your own gender. The reason you have to admire them out there is because you have not yet recognized them in you.
Use this information to start paying more attention to any clue, however slight, in you that shows you that you do have these qualities in you in nascent form, and start bringing them to life, bit by bit, more and more every day.