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Monday, July 30, 2007

Be Who You Are With the People You Love

Blue Bay Beach. Kiwengwa, Zanzibar
The author of a book I recommended recently: Happiness is a Choice, makes mention of something that is so obvious, so important, and yet so rare.

Asked during the question-and-answer period after a seminar, by one of the participants, how he and his wife had managed to stay married so long, and what the secret to their bliss was, Barry Neil Kaufman replied that what he most loved about his wife, was the fact that when he was with her, it was as though he were alone. In other words, with her, he did not have to pretend to be anything or anyone other than the one he truly is.

And that is what I want to encourage you to do today. Be aware of yourself when you start to be someone you are not, especially when you are with those who love you and whom you love. Being real makes for such a difference in the quality of your life and the happiness you will feel. If you are at the beginning of a new relationship, practice it right from day one. If you are in a relationship of many years' standing, begin to be the one you really are. Become conscious of the moments you pretend to be another and step by step, get rid of that persona and allow your real self to come through. Think your relationship won't be able to take it? You might be surprised.

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