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Wednesday, April 18, 2018

Cellular Responsibility: Getting Your Power Back



Remember how long the days seemed when you were a kid? It took forever to get from one part of the week to the next, and don’t even mention a month … that was like a whole year … Why was it so different then?

Tolle and the Now

Quite simple really, and I’ve talked about this in the past in other articles: my May 2008 newsletter – Where Are You Now?, or an earlier article: Living in the Now: Use it to Enrich Your Life. What is simple about the reason why our days no longer last as long as they did when we were kids is because we progressively live less and less time in the present moment. When we were kids and we were building a sand castle, all our attention was on that activity. When we were devouring a piece of birthday cake, all our attention was on that activity.

Now we are splintered into many pieces, and while we do a present-time activity, we are also in different places of the past or future in our mind, hence the present moment is robbed of its fullest potential, we are torn into different directions, and when we have finished with the present-time activity, we often have a difficult time remembering much about it, because so little of our present self was present!

Remember that now is all you have … your true life is not in your past, and it is not in your future … it is only and ever now, in the present moment. Nevertheless, although our rational mind recognizes the inherent truth in this, it does present a number of challenges to the psyche. How can we get ourselves into present time and stay there?

Stimuli in Your Life Capture Your Power

What stimuli in your life capture your power so that it goes to places and times other than where you are now? Here are just a few examples:

Music: imagine you are driving in the car, enjoying the gorgeous day, and a song comes on that is full of bitter-sweet nostalgia for you. It transports you into the glory and the pain of a past relationship. Suddenly you are no longer enjoying the gorgeous day; on the contrary, you are re-living parts of the magnificence of that past relationship, and then you are swept up into the pain of other pieces of it. By the time you reach your destination, you not only no longer feel as wonderful as you did when you began your drive, but you no longer remember the actual drive … all because a song was played on the radio

Smells, perfumes, aromas: imagine you are being introduced to a stranger at a cocktail party. Imagine you are a woman, and the stranger is a man, and as you come in a bit closer to say hello, or as you touch cheeks, as we do in so many countries, you get a whiff of his cologne. It is your father’s cologne. Immediately, in some fashion, you either associate the stranger with your father, or you go into a memory of the past, perhaps of you sitting in your parents’ bedroom, chatting with your father as he splashed on the cologne, and that memory takes you to another moment with your father when he told you he was leaving your mother and you because he had met another woman… Now the cocktail party is tinged with that memory, the feelings it evoked, and after you get home, you may find you scarcely remember any of the conversations you had while you were there … all because of a cologne.

Movies with specific scenes: these can have a similar effect on you as the above, and you may find that you frequently are attracted to movies that cause you to relive the emotions of certain parts of your life

In this regard, Eckhart Tolle refers to the pain body and Chris Griscom refers to the emotional body.

Essentially both terms refer to that part of us that likes to wallow in our pain. What, you say? Why on earth would I want to wallow in something painful? The answer becomes obvious. Because it is a place you know. Because you feel at home there. In other words, we have been there so often before, in this place of pain, that when faced with a choice of doing something new and unknown, or wallowing, it is much easier to fall back to the well-trodden path and wallow. We don’t really even think about it. We just go there, because it is familiar. And then we feel comfort in the familiarity of the pain. Recognize this? Have you been there? And are you tempted right now, despite what you have read to this point, to go back to your painful thoughts? Does that just feel so much easier? (quoted almost verbatim from my article Entering the Now Moment By Leaving Unawareness Behind).

In a sense, that is what we do when we hear the song on the radio, when we catch a tantalizing whiff of the familiar cologne, or when we see certain scenes of some movies. And we go to that place of pain unconsciously because we are not aware of ourselves. Or we may be aware enough to realize what is going on, but we have not yet decided to take on our own responsibility for ourselves. (see also ClaimingResponsibility For the Self).

Molecular & Cellular Biology … Genes & DNA

So now I want to really throw an unexpected thought out there at you…if, as I have written in past articles, our thoughts do indeed influence our body, our cells, our genes, our very DNA (see also Create a New Life: One Intention at a Time or Thoughts Create Molecules, or my March 2008 newsletter: How Your Thoughts Change Your Body), then it stands to reason that by continually re-visiting the past and re-living past pain, we are negatively influencing the very cells of our body. Read some of the work by cellular and molecular biologists Candace Pert and Bruce Lipton, read what scientific researcher Masaru Emoto has to say, look into the quantum research done by endocrinologist Deepak Chopra, but whatever you do, don’t rest back on your chair, make a puzzled face, and say I don’t believe this nonsense. You can’t say that until you’ve read the research.

For those of you who still find it hard to believe that thoughts could affect your body … here are some more common and everyday physiological examples: 
  • Some individuals are capable of reaching orgasm simply by their thoughts
  • Some individuals are able to provoke tears simply by Imagining something and crying because of it
  • Biofeedback has taught us that we can measurably alter our heartbeat, our tension and stress 

Therefore, if we know this to be true, it follows that we need to consider taking cellular responsibility for ourselves.

Cellular responsibility?

Part of Your Energy Is In Your Past

How much of you is in “your story” and would be lost if you let it go? So then you might have to work on a whole new you … depending on how you think about that, it is actually quite exciting … you would no longer be burdened by that old, sad awful story you’ve been dragging around with you.

You do see that because of your story, part of your energy, part of your power is in your past, right? If you identify with your story, if that is how you define yourself, then a portion of your power is there and not here.

Getting Your Fragments Into Present Time

Getting the fragments of yourself into present time (Gary Zukav, author of The Seat of the Soul calls it a splintered personality), is a necessary part of the process of taking cellular responsibility for yourself. So there’s bit of you in 1976, and another bit in 1960, and another bunch of bits in the early 80’s and so on depending on when, in your history, things happened to you that continue to maintain a part or parts of you, especially emotionally, there, at that moment in time. The anchor that holds you there is the negative emotion that you continue to feel every time that you remember the painful event. That means there are only a few bits of you in 2008 … until you leave those past bits - that hold so much of your power – behind, you will not be able to get your power back, and you will not be able to take cellular responsibility for yourself.

Unfinished Business

You know that you have unfinished business with parents, with your spouse or your partner, your kids, your siblings, your friends, your bosses, your teachers, and so on, if you continue to have negative emotions of any kind when you think about them or past events involving them. Those negative emotions are the ones that can adversely influence your body, your cells, and it is precisely those negative emotions that are at the bottom of what it is you need to begin to take responsibility for, if you want to take cellular responsibility for yourself. Finishing up that unfinished business will automatically mean that you will spend a much greater amount of time in the present instead of in the past, and that you will spend far less time focusing on negative emotions from events that took place in the past.

The Importance of Forgiving & the Law of Attraction

Once you can forgive, the unfinished business from the past transforms into a mere memory that no longer carries any negative connotations to pull your power away from the present. It is at this point that you can begin to take cellular responsibility for yourself, i.e. you will no longer be harming your body in all senses of the word by keeping that negative power in the past.

Caroline Myss (from whose work I have borrowed the term cellular responsibility) pointed out almost a decade ago in 1999 in The Science of Medical Intuition, together with Dr. Norman Shealy, that it is also at this point that you can begin to create and manifest. In other words, no matter how much visualization and affirmation you are doing, those of you who have been vicariously reading everything you can get your hands on about the Law of Attraction or The Secret, you will not be able to create, until you pull your power into the present. Forgiving those who have
trespassed you is one of the biggest steps towards that goal.

Quotes about forgiving by Caroline Myss: 
  • By far the strongest poison to the human spirit is the inability to forgive oneself or another person. It disables a person's emotional resources. The challenge is to refine our capacity to love others as well as ourselves and to develop the power of forgiveness.
  • Forgiveness is no longer an option but a necessity for healing.
  • One of the greatest struggles of the healing process is to forgive both yourself and others and to stop expending valuable energy on the past hurts.
  • In order to heal oneself, we must learn how to forgive.
  • Forgive and call back the energy wasted on past events.
  • The act of forgiveness is the act of returning to present time. And that's why when one has become a forgiving person, and has managed to let go of the past, what they've really done is they've shifted their relationship with time. 
Some Tools

Doing some of what follows will lead you down the road to cellular responsibility where you will be able to begin to recover your power: 
  • Become aware of yourself, your reactions to stimuli, your need to go into the pain body
  • Decide you will be responsible for yourself in all senses of the word
  • Make better choices because now you are aware and have decided to become responsible
  • Look at your unfinished business
  • Ask yourself if there are any good reasons to be feeling guilty … what will get better by feeling guilty?
  • Rather than beating yourself up about what you did, why not learn from it, vow to never do it again, and move on. If not, more of your power stays there
  • If you are ashamed of something about yourself, ask yourself if you would like to get rid of feeling like that?
  • Shame tends to involve lack of self esteem
  • Shame is often the root cause of obsessive thinking b/c it allows you to focus on another person as the solution to your problems
  • Does reliving the past help make anything better?
  • Can I recognize that continuing to hurt about past events won’t solve a problem?
  • Forgive
  • Whom do you need to forgive?
  • Why are you unwilling to forgive?
  • Recognize that not forgiving holds parts of you in the past
  • Understand that forgiving does not mean you condone what was done, nor does it mean you now need to have a wonderful relationship with that person … you may need to move on, but by forgiving, the hold that the event had over you, will be gone.
  • Forgiving also does not mean forgetting – but it does mean, removing the charge from the memory
  • Gratitude – this is a really big one: read more in my January 2008 Newsletter: Love and Gratitude are on Your Road to Freedom as well as the December 2006 Newsletter: Gratitude, Choice, and the “Why Did This Happen To Me?” Syndrome
  • Mindfulness (see in particular Wherever You Go, There You Are by Jon Kabat-Zinn) - this is strongly connected to gratitude because gratitude can be your first step in learning how to be mindful; by being grateful for something right now, you automatically return to the now, and by learning to be mindful, you will be able to remain in the now.

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Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English). Available globally in paperback or Kindle e-book versions


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Monday, April 2, 2018

Pain & Joy: The Balancing Act of Your Inner Life



Buddhist Trungpa Rinpoche is said to have pointed out that it's possible to be enlightened everywhere except around your family, a statement which – whether actually said by him or not – I find quite humourous. And yes. It is so very true. Families can be loving, warm, painful, exasperating, joyous, hurtful, plain mean, and totally divine. Families can fill your heart with sheer, utterly boundless joy. Equally they can pierce your heart with glass shards resulting in unspeakable pain. And yes – you may have worked on becoming more enlightened, more spiritual in many arenas of your life, you may have been doing this for a very long time already and yet – you will find yourself tripping up more often than not in interactions that involve your closest family.

Sometimes we believe that because we've already been through much pain and hardship and have already come so far in our spiritual quest, that henceforth things will be easier. Not because we're 'better than', or 'superior to', or 'more evolved', but simply because we've already learned so much. As though now there were less to learn. Not so, as I was aptly reminded last month in a FB post by Alan Oken. He writes: "Many of us have reached a place in our spiritual development when our ideas about the Path and the reality of the way the Path truly unfolds are in conflict. A lot of us believe that once we have set a foot on the Spiritual Way, we can just glide “on home to the other side!” This sentiment comes about early on in our development. It is a kind of “gift” to encourage us. But as those of us who have been walking a little longer along the Way can readily attest, this apparent gift of ease along the “cosmic conveyor belt” is far from the truth. In fact, for a very long while, our crises in life will appear to multiply and not lessen after we have identified ourselves with the Soul. 

This is because there are now even more levels of interplay to consider in each and every one of our relationships, be they with people, objects, ideas, emotions, or beliefs. What is also true is that the direction, quality, and nature of these personal, impersonal, and transpersonal crises (for they indeed occur on all of these levels!), is that they take on a specific direction. Our crises therefore become fewer in number but far more specific in terms of the "energetic principles" that they represent. The identification of these Principles is a faculty of the higher mind and anchored in the Soul." Another humbling reminder of the fact that spiritual growth is not only a life-long spiraling process, but also of the fact that the bar is continually raised along the way.

Speaking with several friends (separately) of their (and my) individual and personal pain, we felt supported in our mutual understanding and sharing in the discovery that we feel we are all living an inner balancing act that never seems to stand still. In this inner balancing act one is conscious that joy and pain are capable of coexisting simultaneously. It brings to mind something I once read of a man who had been in an accident, resulting in quadriplegia. He said that at times, when he was in the company of friends, or when a joke was being told, he was able to momentarily forget the state of his body.

The inner balancing act of joy and pain is not about forgetting. But it is very much about being able to feel joy in the midst of pain. Those who have lost a loved one know that occasionally in the midst of sorrow, even in a short period of time after the loss, they may smile or even laugh. It seems incongruous, almost disrespectful, and yet it happens.

Again, the inner balancing act of joy and pain is not about suddenly smiling or laughing, but about being aware of your pain – whatever it may be – and simultaneously being able to be aware of – and experience – joy. This can only come about in my opinion, if you practice mindfulness.

In his Letters to a Young Poet Rainer Maria Rilke speaks of how great sadness transforms us and brings us closer to ourselves: “ … you must not be frightened … if a sadness rises up before you larger than any you have ever seen; if a restiveness, like light and cloud-shadows, passes over your hands and over all you do. You must think that something is happening with you, that life has not forgotten you, that it holds you in its hand; it will not let you fall. Why do you want to shut out of your life any agitation, any pain, any melancholy, since you really do not know what these states are working upon you?”

In seeking to balance suffering and joy in your life you must realize that suffering eventually leads to joy, and joy eventually leads to suffering. We live in a dualistic world. One without the other would not be what it is. Joy without suffering would not be joy. Likewise suffering without joy would not be suffering. If suffering did not exist, we could not have joy. And without joy we would not have suffering.

One of Taoism’s most important concepts is wu wei, which is sometimes translated as “non-doing” or “non-action.” I’ve been grappling with it for many years, having initially read about it in the writing of Fritjof Capra. “A better way to think of it, however, is as a paradoxical “Action of non-action,” Elizabeth Reninger writes. “Wu wei refers to the cultivation of a state of being in which our actions are quite effortlessly in alignment with the ebb and flow of the elemental cycles of the natural world. It is a kind of “going with the flow” that is characterized by great ease and awake-ness, in which--without even trying--we’re able to respond perfectly to whatever situations arise. 

The Taoist principle of wu wei has similarities to the goal in Buddhism of non-clinging to the idea of an individual ego. A Buddhist who relinquishes ego in favor of acting through the influence of inherent Buddha-nature is behaving in a very Taoist manner.” 

What this teaches us is that in the midst of suffering, where we may be tempted to rush in and try to resolve, that which at this moment cannot be resolved, that we may need to remain still. To rest in non-action. Hence the concept of non-doing. Or as a dear friend of mine puts it: sit like the hare.
In his book “The Art of Living” Thich Nhat Hanh writes: “Mindfulness has the capacity to embrace our suffering. It says, Hello, my dear pain. This is the practice of recognizing suffering. Hello, my pain. I know you are there, and I will take care of you. You don’t need to be afraid.

Now in our mind-consciousness there are two energies: the energy of mindfulness and the energy of suffering. The work of mindfulness is first to recognize and then to embrace the suffering with gentleness and compassion. You make use of your mindful breathing to do this. As you breathe in, you say silently, Hello, my pain. As you breathe out, you say, I am here for you. Our breathing contains within it the energy of our pain, so as we breathe with gentleness and compassion, we are also embracing our pain with gentleness and compassion.

When suffering comes up, we have to be present for it. We shouldn’t run away from it or cover it up with consumption, distraction, or diversion. We should simply recognize it and embrace it, like a mother lovingly embracing a crying baby in her arms. The mother is mindfulness, and the crying baby is suffering. The mother has the energy of gentleness and love. When the baby is embraced by the mother, it feels comforted and immediately suffers less, even though the mother does not yet know exactly what the problem is. Just the fact that the mother is embracing the baby is enough to help the baby suffer less. We don’t need to know where the suffering is coming from. We just need to embrace it, and that already brings some relief. As our suffering begins to calm down, we know we will get through it.”

Your inner life is always a balancing act, and YOU are fully in charge of that – if you choose to take on that responsibility. Part of why you consciously choose - seek - to be the one in charge is because you have grown to love yourself. Loving yourself lies at the base of so much of what allows you to grow and expand. Loving yourself is the beginning of a wondrously brilliant road. Joy and pain will always have their places there.

***************


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See the preview (click the image) to my online video course:
Freedom From the Torture of Your Thoughts




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"Freedom From the Torture of Your Thoughts"

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**************************************************

See the preview (click below) to my online on-demand video course  




  NOW available

"Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin"


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CHARLAS EN ESPAÑOL EN YOUTUBE


Vampiros energéticos: Su efecto destructivo en tu vida

En YouTube aquí:


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En YouTube aquí:


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Se grabó y se puede ver en YouTube aquí:


*******************************

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BOOKS - LIBROS - BÜCHER


Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books (also in Spanish & German). My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is available globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.


Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English). Available globally in paperback or Kindle e-book versions


Bücher von Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (Deutsch) ... JETZT bei Amazon (Taschenbuch oder E-Book) erhältlich 
DEINE SEELE UND DU
  

Angefangen mit Rewiring the Soul - auf Deutsch: Deine Seele und Du, jetzt weltweit erhältlich als Taschenbuch oder Kindle E-Book (Blog hier), werden auch meine anderen Bücher in Zukunft auf Deutsch bei Amazon erhältlich sein.

Libros por Gabriella Kortsch (español) ... ahora en todo el mundo en Amazon en versión bolsillo y Kindle



Note: Also see my other other blog The Tao of Spiritual Partnership, so named for another one of my books. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed. 

My blog posts are also featured on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, Pinterest & you can find me on Instagram