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"A revelation of insight into the foundations of human suffering & transcendence. It not only lays out essential steps for inner freedom and joy but illuminates the way to true human potential." Paul Rademacher, author: A Spiritual Hitchhiker's Guide to the Universe

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre

"Rewiring the Soul is one the best introductions to the spiritual life I've ever read. Not esoteric but real-world and practical. The implications are profound." Peter Shepherd, author: Daring To Be Yourself

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

When You Love, What Exactly Are You Loving?


Have you ever given it any thought? What, in fact, do you love, when you love?
  • Do you love the feeling of being loved (as opposed to not feeling loved before)?
  • The feeling of being adored (as opposed to not feeling adored before)?
  • The feeling of being doted on (as opposed to not feeling doted on before)?
  • The feeling of being important to someone (as opposed to not feeling important before)?
  • Do you love feeling fulfilled (as opposed to how unfulfilled you felt before)?
  • Do you love feeling secure (as opposed to how insecure you felt before)?
  • Do you love feeling needed (as opposed to not feeling needed before)?
  • Do you love how good you feel when you are with the other (as opposed to not feeling nearly as good without the other)?
  • Do you love knowing you are not alone (as opposed to how you feel when you are alone)?
  • Do you love how the other gazes into your eyes (as opposed to how you feel when no one gazes into your eyes)?
  • Do you love the fact that the other appears to only have eyes for you?
  • Do you love how the other shows you how much you are loved?
You might say to me, but of course, all of that is normal when you are in love, and I would not disagree with you in the least. But how much of that has to do with you? I mean: how much of that has to do with how this being in love makes you feel? What have you said - or thought - about the other person, with the exception of how the other makes you feel? Have you examined where the other is in all of this? Don't worry - I'm not implying that you are being selfish.

I'm actually asking you to consider that perhaps a part of this whole business of what you love when you love has much more to do with satisfying a deep longing inside yourself that you are not capable of taking care of - or so you think, or have been taught to believe - on your own. And so you need, so to speak, the other to take care of it for you. The other fulfills you, being with the other makes you feel secure, needed, important, valuable, etc.

What is this longing? Why does the fulfilling of it by the other make you feel so good? (At least until the relationship palls or goes sour). The longing is for your self-love. We are not taught - generally - to love ourselves, and so we need to fulfill that need with another. And so you seek to do so through your love relationships. And that is precisely why so many of them go sour. If you could learn to fulfill your own needs in the self-love department, the weight of responsibility in the relationship for making you feel good about yourself would no longer rest on the hapless shoulders of your partner. You would assume responsibility for it yourself. And your love relationships would be lighter (by not being burdened by such a load), and yet more profound because two individuals who come together, already having learned to fulfill their own needs, already having assumed responsibility for their own inner well-being, will reach depths of love that people involved in the other kind of relationship can only dream of.

Image: Adam Martinakis

Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch:

 
Rewiring the Soul

Click here to download the first chapter.
To see the Table of Contents click here

Reviews From the Back Cover:

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, Director, Center for Sacred Theatre, Ashland, Oregon; author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre

"Rewiring the Soul is one the best introductions to the spiritual life I've ever read. Not esoteric but real-world & practical. The implications are profound." Peter Shepherd; Founder Trans4mind.com; author: Daring To Be Yourself 

"The human being's directory to the soul. A breakthrough for those seeking practical assistance, those of a more mystical bent & every soul awaiting discovery." Toni Petrinovich, Ph.D.; author: The Call: Awakening the Angelic Human

The Tao of Spiritual Partnership

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

Praise for The Tao of Spiritual Partnership

“All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come."
Chris Griscom: Spiritual Leader, Author (among others) of: Ecstasy is a New Frequency

“Eloquent and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion.” 

Robert Schwartz: Author of Your Soul’s Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born 


The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self 


My new book: The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self, is just out. Click here to download an excerpt. 

From the Introduction: It is your right to live a life of love. It is your right to understand that loving yourself first is not a selfish way of behavior, but one that allows you to live that life of love. However, it's highly probable that you never got the instruction manual explaining exactly how to accomplish this. Possibly your family - and it may have been a loving family - considered loving the self an act of selfishness. Or perhaps the members of your family simply didn't practice loving the self, and of course, what you didn't see - what was not shown to you - while you were growing up, meant that you just didn't learn how to apply it to yourself. The closer you are able to move towards loving yourself, the closer you will be to living a life of love - quite independently of whether you are in a love relationship or not. A life of love can be lived with or without a partnership, because a life of love implies that you know that it all begins with you by loving the self. The more clearly you understand how to love yourself, the more clearly you will see that it is very hard - if not impossible - to love others in ways that are unrelated to fulfilling any of your needs. Loving yourself first is - for so many of us - one of the hardest things we will ever learn how to do. But know this: the benefits affect you in every particle of your being - body, mind, and soul - and are greater than you will ever be able to imagine.

Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin (to be released Summer 2014)


My new book (due out summer 2014), deals with a subject that affects great numbers of people. Neediness and emotional unavailability are two sides of the same coin because both are based on a lack of self love, a fear of love, and a fear of the hurt that love can engender due to the vulnerability that being in love generally evokes. A person may live out one side of the coin (neediness) in several relationships and then - in a new relationship - may find him or herself living out the other side of the coin (emotional unavailability).


Neither of these tend to be deliberate because there is never anything consciously deliberate about the way a defense mechanism arises in childhood. A man who refuses to commit should not blithely be judged as being manipulative or callous although on the surface he may very well appear to be so. Furthermore, the older he gets, the more of a history of this nature he acquires, and hence the more those who sit in judgement reach the conclusion that they are right. The same could, of course, be said about the emotionally unavailable woman. Another case in point: a woman whose neediness may appear as emotionally manipulative (of her partner, parents, children, or friends), generally also does not behave this way in a deliberate fashion. The same could be said about the needy man.

Nevertheless some individuals, who have used these defense mechanisms over many years, have observed their effect on others, and so the emotionally unavailable man or woman may have noticed that this behavior magically attracts a certain kind of partner. Likewise, the needy man or woman will have observed that certain individuals always seem to do their bidding, if the neediness in expressed in emotionally manipulative ways.

This book dissects the causes and solutions of these defense mechanisms, paving the road - for those who wish to change the inner landscape of their emotional constraints - to live and be able to love more freely.

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is The Tao of Spiritual Partnership, so named for another one of my books. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

Friday, July 4, 2014

Using Feelings to Achieve Goals


In the blog I've frequently written about the importance of your feelings, your emotions, your energetic frequency as a barometer that can tell you whether you're on the right track or not.

If you are feeling down, sad, blue, depressed, despairing, angry, jealous, etc., you are definitely not in the place you should be in to get further towards whatever goals you are attempting to achieve. Whether these goals are of a personal nature, regarding major relationships in your life, or whether they are of a professional nature, or academic or financial goals ... none will come to you effortlessly if your inner state is not on a track that can lead you there.

You can easily use your feelings to guage whether you are in synchronicity with whatever it is you wish to achieve. It somes down to this simple equation: if you are not feeling good, whatever you wish to achieve will be very hard to come by. Your feelings are a barometer that tells you that you - and your internal self - are off course and need attention of some kind in the same way a fever thermometer tells you your body is off course and needs attention of some kind. And then, of course, once you realize that your feelings are not in synchronicity with that which you wish to achieve, you will need to choose to do something about them.

And to change how you are feeling is not quite as hard as it sounds. It has a lot to do with choice, and it has much to do with what you choose to focus on. If your goal is to build a company up from the ground, or if your goal is to set the world record in making the tallest house of cards, or if your goal is to have a loving relationship in your life ... if you find yourself in a negative state, or sad, or angry, or depressed, especially if those negative feelings are related to how you feel about your prospects of achieving that goal (but even if they aren't about that specifically), then you must realize that such an inner feeling state is anything but synchronized with any of those goals.

Your feelings can guide you through your entire life. Observe them, pay attention to what they are telling you, because when you find that your energetic state is poor, when your feelings are low, they are literally serving as a GPS showing you that you made a wrong turn somewhere, and so are indicating that you need to move you to a better place.

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Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch



Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is The Tao of Spiritual Partnership, so named for another one of my books. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Building Muscles That Keep You Going


Clients often come to see me in the midst of chaos. That's understandable - after all, people such as myself who work in the field of psychotherapy and healing - expect that.

Nevertheless, there is something wrong with that scenario. You've all heard of how historically Chinese doctors of medicine were paid a retainer to keep their patients healthy. If they did their job well, helping the clients stay healthy, surgery or other drastic measures would not be required.

So in the example I cited above, about clients making appointments when they are in the midst of chaos, lives falling apart, or dreadful moments of pain, worry, and stress, it's a bit of the same. If you eat poorly, don't exercise, sleep badly, and in general, live an unhealthy life, and then you go to the doctor when you feel very poorly, it will be much harder to turn your health around, than if you had gone to see that doctor long ago, in order to get good advice about how to live a healthy life in order to greatly increase your chances to not get sick.

In the case of psychotherapy we can use the same analogy. The way we live our lives in the minutes of our days - every day - has a far greater influence on how well we are able to weather great emotional, psychological, and spiritual storms than what we do when the storm hits, especially if we don't do whatever it is until we are already well into the eye of the storm. If you invested in hurricane shutters, and always keep an up-to-date supply of batteries, bottled water, and canned foods on hand, when that storm hits your city, you won't have to scramble madly, fighting the crowds, in order to get yourself stocked up.

Therefore, the title of today's post: 'building muscles that keep you going' has much to do with what you do every day when things are OK; when there is no particular stressor in your life, and when you believe yourself to be in control of matters. What you do on such days; what you think on such days; what you feel on such days is what builds the stuff of your inner fortitude that will work in your favour when difficulties come to visit. So if you don't really know what you could be doing, thinking, and feeling in order to build those muscles that will keep you going, you might want to decide that it then when it's a good time to attend some seminars, read some good books, or visit someone such as myself, instead of postponing much of this until the proverbial stuff hits the fan!

One final point: many people have told me during their first visit that they have, in fact, gone to many seminars, or read numerous books, but their life never changed. They recount how hyped they were, for example, after some of the seminars, or how much peace they had found after a retreat, or how much this or that book had resonated with them, but their life never changed. Therein lies the problem, and I've been guilty of this myself at earlier times in my life. You know what you're hearing or reading is precisely what you need. It furthermore gives you a sense of great inner energy. But you go home, or you close the book, or switch off your device after viewing an online program, and you simply don't apply what you learned on a daily basis. Building muscles that keep you going need attention every day. Not necessarily exclusive attention, in that you may not need to set aside time to practice, because much of it can be done simultaneously with your other activities, but without paying conscious attention every day, when you do actually need those muscles, they won't be there for you. As always, you choose.

Image Credit: Vladimir Kush / http://vladimirkush.com/ 

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Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch



Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is The Tao of Spiritual Partnership, so named for another one of my books. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

Friday, June 27, 2014

And If There Is No One To Blame?


Life as a child was great ... I always found someone or something to blame for whatever was going wrong. My older brother had not let me come along to play with his friends, the girl down the street had broken my favorite doll, the weather had spoiled our picnic, my mother had scolded me harshly, I would tearfully tell my father when he returned at night, the 'bad' stove had made me burn my hand, the 'nasty' friend had not let me win the board game. As you can imagine, I had a lot to learn.

And learn I did! But in that learning, and in the realizing that the more you take on full responsibility not only for all you do, but also full responsibility for all you think, feel, say, and above all, for how you react to those things that happen, meant that I began to see life with totally different eyes.

And of course, doing that, means there is no one left to blame. No matter what happens, and no matter what another does.

That is ridiculous, you say.
  • The government and the financial system which it allowed for so many years has messed us up so much, that many of us are living on the brink of poverty. That is clearly the government's fault.
  • Or: my car was totalled in that accident yesterday when someone ran the red light, and that is clearly the other driver's fault.
  • Or: I've been diagnosed with breast cancer, and that is clearly the fault of my genes plus the environmental pollutants.
  • Or: I've been training for national qualification as an equestrian jumper, but my father has been so negative about it all, stressing me every time I go practice, that I didn't make the grade, and that is clearly my father's fault.
We could come up with any number of other examples, but what I wanted to show by using these in particular, is that even in cases where many of us might agree that it is so obviously not my fault, if something of this nature occurs, I would still say: but you must take full responsibility for how you react; for how you choose to react.

Because of course much of this is a question of seeing that there is always a choice. A choice of how much attention I pay to what is happening in the government, first at my community and local level, then provincial or state, and so on, and finally at the federal level. I also have choices about the kind of car insurance I have and what it covers, and while I don't have a choice about the genes I inherit, I do have a choice about how I influence those genes on the basis of much of the information that is coming out of cellular and molecular biology (and it is my choice to read about these things), not to mention what I allow into my 'environment', which includes not only what I breathe, eat and drink, but also how I live, how I manage stress, with whom I am surrounded, and so on. And finally, I always have choices about how I react to others' negativity. I even have choices about how much time I spend with people who are negative - even a father.

But while I stand by the last paragraph, I believe that much more important even than that, is the choice to always assume responsiblity for your own reactions. Find a place within where you gain equanimity and inner balance about whatever it is that is happening, and then, and only then, begin to decide what to do about it. Some things we can change. Others we can't change. But what we can do always, is to love the self so much, that our first priority is the recuperation of this inner balance. That is the first and the most gigantic step in not blaming and in accepting responsibility for yourself.

Take your life in your own hands, and what happens?
A terrible thing: no one to blame.
Erica Jong 

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Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch



Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is The Tao of Spiritual Partnership, so named for another one of my books. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Look Inside First


Finding reasons out there for the multitude of things that go wrong in our lives; judging or criticizing others for things we allow in ourselves; blaming others (or circumstances) for things we justify in ourselves, are all what many of us (myself included) do so very often in the course of our daily lives. Because it's always so much easier to see it out there.

Looking inside first is hard. But it can become a habit. And the more you do it, the more you realize the enormous degree of freedom it gives you because it signifies that you begin to choose how to react, as opposed to needing to find fault with or judge, or criticize, or look for reasons out there to justify whatever it is that is going on.

Think of it this way: when you do all those other things that allow you to avoid looking inside - how do you feel? Is it not true that while you may feel you now have a justification for whatever it is that is going on, you also don't really feel great? You may feel slightly superior, which may give you an edge, but it's not actually something that makes you feel good, is it?

Let's say you see a homeless person on the street. Let's say you give that person some coins. And let's say you feel sorry for them. But let's also say that all the while there is a little voice in you saying why can't they get a job? So here's the thing: perhaps they could get that job, or perhaps not. But it's not up to you to make that judgement call. That is their responsibility. Or their choice. But it is your choice to look inside yourself to determine why you need to judge. And it is also your job to be conscious enough about this in order to stop the judging and simply let be. It is your job to grow your inner self to the point where you no longer judge (or criticize or justify, etc.), because it is your growth you are interested in, isn't it? Or do you concern yourself about the growth of others while keeping yourself on a shelf of superiority that allows you to avoid looking at yourself?

I know, this is not necessarily fun stuff. But it's the stuff our potential growth is made of. Let's look at another example. Let's say you make a point of eating healthy food. Nothing processed. Mainly organic. No sugar. So now you are at the grocery store waiting in line behind a rather stout couple with a shopping cart full of ... you know ... all that stuff you wouldn't touch with a 10-foot pole. And what thoughts course through your mind? (Mine too ... as I often say, the things I write about are not because I've surpassed all this mundane stuff and find myself floating on some spiritual cloud, but precisely because I also have work to do). So the same applies as in the example of the homeless person. It's not up to you to make that judgement call. That is their responsibility. Or their choice. But it is your choice to look inside yourself to determine why you need to judge. And it is also your job to be conscious enough about this in order to stop the judging and simply let be. It is your job to grow your inner self to the point where you no longer judge (or criticize or justify, etc.), because it is your growth you are interested in, isn't it? Or do you concern yourself about the growth of others while keeping yourself on a shelf of superiority that allows you to avoid looking at yourself?

So the choice to look inside first is a very important one. Don't let yourself bypass it and take the easy road. At least not if you want to grow.

Image: I am unable to give credit as I found no information, but would gladly do so if a reader would point me in the right direction


Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch:

 
Rewiring the Soul

Click here to download the first chapter.
To see the Table of Contents click here

Reviews From the Back Cover:

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, Director, Center for Sacred Theatre, Ashland, Oregon; author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre

"Rewiring the Soul is one the best introductions to the spiritual life I've ever read. Not esoteric but real-world & practical. The implications are profound." Peter Shepherd; Founder Trans4mind.com; author: Daring To Be Yourself 

"The human being's directory to the soul. A breakthrough for those seeking practical assistance, those of a more mystical bent & every soul awaiting discovery." Toni Petrinovich, Ph.D.; author: The Call: Awakening the Angelic Human

The Tao of Spiritual Partnership

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

Praise for The Tao of Spiritual Partnership

“All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come."
Chris Griscom: Spiritual Leader, Author (among others) of: Ecstasy is a New Frequency

“Eloquent and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion.” 

Robert Schwartz: Author of Your Soul’s Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born 


The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self 


My new book: The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self, is just out. Click here to download an excerpt. 

From the Introduction: It is your right to live a life of love. It is your right to understand that loving yourself first is not a selfish way of behavior, but one that allows you to live that life of love. However, it's highly probable that you never got the instruction manual explaining exactly how to accomplish this. Possibly your family - and it may have been a loving family - considered loving the self an act of selfishness. Or perhaps the members of your family simply didn't practice loving the self, and of course, what you didn't see - what was not shown to you - while you were growing up, meant that you just didn't learn how to apply it to yourself. The closer you are able to move towards loving yourself, the closer you will be to living a life of love - quite independently of whether you are in a love relationship or not. A life of love can be lived with or without a partnership, because a life of love implies that you know that it all begins with you by loving the self. The more clearly you understand how to love yourself, the more clearly you will see that it is very hard - if not impossible - to love others in ways that are unrelated to fulfilling any of your needs. Loving yourself first is - for so many of us - one of the hardest things we will ever learn how to do. But know this: the benefits affect you in every particle of your being - body, mind, and soul - and are greater than you will ever be able to imagine.

Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin (to be released Summer 2014)


My new book (due out summer 2014), deals with a subject that affects great numbers of people. Neediness and emotional unavailability are two sides of the same coin because both are based on a lack of self love, a fear of love, and a fear of the hurt that love can engender due to the vulnerability that being in love generally evokes. A person may live out one side of the coin (neediness) in several relationships and then - in a new relationship - may find him or herself living out the other side of the coin (emotional unavailability).

Neither of these tend to be deliberate because there is never anything consciously deliberate about the way a defense mechanism arises in childhood. A man who refuses to commit should not blithely be judged as being manipulative or callous although on the surface he may very well appear to be so. Furthermore, the older he gets, the more of a history of this nature he acquires, and hence the more those who sit in judgement reach the conclusion that they are right. The same could, of course, be said about the emotionally unavailable woman. Another case in point: a woman whose neediness may appear as emotionally manipulative (of her partner, parents, children, or friends), generally also does not behave this way in a deliberate fashion. The same could be said about the needy man.

Nevertheless some individuals, who have used these defense mechanisms over many years, have observed their effect on others, and so the emotionally unavailable man or woman may have noticed that this behavior magically attracts a certain kind of partner. Likewise, the needy man or woman will have observed that certain individuals always seem to do their bidding, if the neediness in expressed in emotionally manipulative ways.

This book dissects the causes and solutions of these defense mechanisms, paving the road - for those who wish to change the inner landscape of their emotional constraints - to live and be able to love more freely.

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is The Tao of Spiritual Partnership, so named for another one of my books. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

Monday, June 23, 2014

Comparisons Are Bad For Your Health


Do you remember the kid in first grade whose bike was bigger and shinier than yours? And when you had your first baby, the neighbour across the street had one as well, and hers started talking before yours. Then there was that friend you had when you were teens who ate like a horse and never gained a gram, but you did just by watching all that food getting consumed. Oh, and let's not forget about John, whose dad got him a car right out of school. A new car. And you had to work part time all through school just to be able to afford tuition for your first year at university - and of course you had no money for a car and your parents couldn't afford to get one for you either. Before we get off the subject, do you remember that account executive that was hired way after you and yet got a promotion before you did? And then there was the family that bought a home in your neighbourhood - where you had been so proud to be able to afford a down payment on a home - and you soon found out they were going to flip it shortly to get a much larger one in a more upscale area of town because they had been able to pay a large amount down thanks to their in-laws. And your colleague Michael wrote an article that was published in a peer-reviewed journal while yours - with much more timely information - kept getting rejected.

If this sounds like a litany of complaints, it is one, but if you were the one saying these things or thinking these thoughts, you would simply think of them as a considered comparison of another person and yourself. You might even tell yourself that you could learn something by doing this because perhaps you could figure out how that person did the thing they did so much more easily or successfully than you.

Don't fool yourself. Comparisons of this nature are not only bad for your health, they are also bad for the energetic frequency of your body. The next time you do it, and if you are aware enough to check how you feel prior to the comparison going on in your head and then feel how different that energy is to how you feel after the comparison, you will see the veracity of this.

But why are they bad? If you are comparing something you do or possess to something another person has done or owns that is bigger, better, more successful than yours, you will continually place yourself into a position of losing. That's what comparison is about: I win - you lose, or: you win - I lose. And if by any chance you do acquire or achieve whatever it was you have been comparing yourself to, you will potentially continue in the same vein and now begin to compare what you have acquired or achieved to something bigger, better, or more successful. An so you will never win, and so you will continually eke away at your own energy, at your potential for inner satisfaction, and at your happiness. Think of it this way: comparison thoughts are low energy thoughts.

What about the bit where you think you might learn something by comparing? Is there not some truth to that? Yes. But not by comparing.

What happens when you admire someone? Think for a moment of individuals you admire. From real life, people you know personally, celebrities, or people from the arts, literature, people who have died long ago, but who continue to inspire you. Now notice how differently you feel when you think of someone you admire for whatever they achieved or how they lived their life, to how you feel when you compare. See the difference? Thoughts of admiration are high energy thoughts.

And you can learn so much from those that you admire. You can literally find gifts and strengths in yourself that perhaps have been lying a nascent state until you begin to realize you admire them out there in someone, and now you start drawing them to you, by emulating that characteristic or strength and growing it in yourself until you live that way as well. Choose to find those that you admire and move yourself in that direction.

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Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch



Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is The Tao of Spiritual Partnership, so named for another one of my books. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

Thursday, June 19, 2014

The Importance You Attach to Your Thoughts


Scientists estimate that most people have anywhere from 5,000 to 75,000 thoughts per day. Either way you look at it, it's a lot. The quality of those thoughts is what makes or breaks your life. So let's consider - as you think thoughts of a less than optimal quality - how important they are, according to you. Here are some examples:
  • I'm less good looking than that person
  • I'll never get 'there'
  • My father/mother/brother/sister ruined everything for me
  • If only I had chosen to become this (professionally) instead of that
  • I won't stop until I show so-and-so he/she should never have meddled with me!
  • Why does nothing every turn out right?
  • How will I ever pay for that?
  • I wish I could do what he/she does
  • This is too much for me
  • I can't
  • I'm not good enough
  • I'm a failure
  • I should have never tried to do this
Clearly, you also have higher energy thoughts, but again, psychologists estimate that the large percentage of all those thousands of thoughts that course through your head tend to be of the lower quality type.

You've probably heard of thinking positively all the time. You're probably tired of it. But consider this: look at the whole picture from another angle. When you have thoughts of the kind I've illustrated above, how much importance do you attach to them? Do you consider them important enough to weigh carefully, and spend time thinking about? You see, that is another reason why they bog you down. If you could shake them off and move elsewhere with your mind, the heavy mud with which they cover you would have nothing to cling to. You can choose to give them less importance, for one, by choosing to spend less time on them. This (as always) requires awareness, because you need to be conscious of these mud-heavy thoughts when they appear unbidden in your mind. Think of it as a bad habit that you can change. In order to change any habit, you need to be aware of the times you fall into it, and consciously choose to do/think something different. And at the same time you remove a great deal of the importance you give to those thoughts. Choose well every day in order to give your life a greater quality.


Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch:

 
Rewiring the Soul

Click here to download the first chapter.
To see the Table of Contents click here

Reviews From the Back Cover:

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, Director, Center for Sacred Theatre, Ashland, Oregon; author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre

"Rewiring the Soul is one the best introductions to the spiritual life I've ever read. Not esoteric but real-world & practical. The implications are profound." Peter Shepherd; Founder Trans4mind.com; author: Daring To Be Yourself 

"The human being's directory to the soul. A breakthrough for those seeking practical assistance, those of a more mystical bent & every soul awaiting discovery." Toni Petrinovich, Ph.D.; author: The Call: Awakening the Angelic Human

The Tao of Spiritual Partnership

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

Praise for The Tao of Spiritual Partnership

“All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come."
Chris Griscom: Spiritual Leader, Author (among others) of: Ecstasy is a New Frequency

“Eloquent and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion.” 

Robert Schwartz: Author of Your Soul’s Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born 


The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self 


My new book: The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self, is just out. Click here to download an excerpt. 

From the Introduction: It is your right to live a life of love. It is your right to understand that loving yourself first is not a selfish way of behavior, but one that allows you to live that life of love. However, it's highly probable that you never got the instruction manual explaining exactly how to accomplish this. Possibly your family - and it may have been a loving family - considered loving the self an act of selfishness. Or perhaps the members of your family simply didn't practice loving the self, and of course, what you didn't see - what was not shown to you - while you were growing up, meant that you just didn't learn how to apply it to yourself. The closer you are able to move towards loving yourself, the closer you will be to living a life of love - quite independently of whether you are in a love relationship or not. A life of love can be lived with or without a partnership, because a life of love implies that you know that it all begins with you by loving the self. The more clearly you understand how to love yourself, the more clearly you will see that it is very hard - if not impossible - to love others in ways that are unrelated to fulfilling any of your needs. Loving yourself first is - for so many of us - one of the hardest things we will ever learn how to do. But know this: the benefits affect you in every particle of your being - body, mind, and soul - and are greater than you will ever be able to imagine.

Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin (to be released Summer 2014)

My new book (due out summer 2014), deals with a very important subject. Neediness and emotional unavailability are two sides of the same coin because both are based on a lack of self love, a fear of love, and a fear of the hurt that love can engender due to the vulnerability that being in love generally evokes. A person may live out one side of the coin (neediness) in several relationships and then - in a new relationship - may find him or herself living out the other side of the coin (emotional unavailability).
                Neither of these tend to be deliberate because there is never anything consciously deliberate about the way a defense mechanism arises in childhood. A man who refuses to commit should not blithely be judged as being manipulative or callous although on the surface he may very well appear to be so. Furthermore, the older he gets, the more of a history of this nature he acquires, and hence the more those who sit in judgement reach the conclusion that they are right. The same could, of course, be said about the emotionally unavailable woman. Another case in point: a woman whose neediness may appear as emotionally manipulative (of her partner, parents, children, or friends), generally also does not behave this way in a deliberate fashion. The same could be said about the needy man.
                Nevertheless some individuals, who have used these defense mechanisms over many years, have observed their effect on others, and so the emotionally unavailable man or woman may have noticed that this behavior magically attracts a certain kind of partner. Likewise, the needy man or woman will have observed that certain individuals always seem to do their bidding, if the neediness in expressed in emotionally manipulative ways.
                This book dissects the causes and solutions of these defense mechanisms, paving the road - for those who wish to change the inner landscape of their emotional constraints - to live and be able to love more freely.

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is The Tao of Spiritual Partnership, so named for another one of my books. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

How Fit Are You?


The fitness center I go to is filled with many seekers of better health, trim bodies, and toned muscles. I alternate doing circuit training there and power walks on the beach promenade, where I also pass by numerous people doing exactly the same, in order to be healthy, and maintain trim bodies and toned muscles. We've learned that exercise is not only good for our physical bodies, but also for the plasticity of our brains, as well as for the state of our inner well-being, and so therefore, many have fully embraced a lifestyle that automatically includes some sort of physical activity. If you are one of those people, I applaud you. Doing this will go a long way to ensuring a good life.

But how fit are you in other areas?

Are you spending 45 minutes to one hour per day on those fitness activities? Now tell me: how much time do you spend on becoming more aware? Or how much time do you spend on calming your mind? Or how much time do you spend on nurturing yourself; on boosting your energetic frequency, in order to ensure that you remain in a great inner space? Or how much time do you spend practicing having healthier boundaries? Or how much time do you spend on training your mind to think thoughts that move your day forward in positive and beneficial ways, as opposed to spending time mired in the muck of hopeless thoughts of anger, victim-hood, or pain? For that matter, how much time do you spend learning how to love yourself?

I can just hear you saying that you simply don't have the kind of time it requires to do the things I've just enumerated. That's actually not true, as I'll illustrate in a moment. But first let's look at one simple idea: why is it important to spend time toning the body and not important to spend time 'toning' the mind and spirit? And I'm not suggesting you need to choose between the two - just that one is at least as - if not more - important than the other. With respect to time, many of the activities I've mentioned can be incorporated into other moments of something you are doing anyway. For example, if you have seminars, talks, podcasts, etc. available for listening in the car while you drive to your normal daily places, even if the drive is only five minutes long, you can listen then. No need to use other moments. When you get back in the car, resume listening. And so on. It adds up very quickly. Likewise, if you live alone, or if you shave or apply makeup when the others in your household are already gone (or before they get up), you can use those minutes to listen as well. Small vitamin shots of nurturing add up. Another great example is becoming aware. No need to do tedious exercises or spend time you need to spend on other activities in order to learn this. All you have to do is put up some reminders around your home or office that will jog your mind into awareness each and every time you look at them. For the next few seconds or minutes (or longer), you will remain aware about what is happening, you won't be nearly as reactive or prone to being manipulated by the button pushers in your life, and more importantly, you will have given yourself those moments of awareness today and those moments can be added to the ones you had yesterday when you did the same thing, and also to those of tomorrow, and so on. In the end, you will ultimately be living more moments of awareness on a daily basis than not. But you have to do something. It requires practice.

Being fit in the ways I'm describing makes the difference of a life lived with emotional and psychological blind infirmity and a life lived with inner freedom, joy, and harmony. All it takes is a bit of circuit training.


Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch


Friday, June 13, 2014

The Potential Freshness of Each Day


Sometimes I think of the days of my life as exquisite and pristine plants that come into being each day anew. Or as pearls in the string of days in the years of my life. I am afforded the opportunity - as we all are - to nurture this plant, to care for it and bring it into rich fullness. All that is needed for this to happen is that we regard our days as gifts rather than hours to endure until evening rolls around or series of hours to tolerate until the weekend or a special event or vacation time come knocking. We also need to recognize that if our lives our undergoing difficulty and turmoil, pain and desperation, we nevertheless have the opportunity to make the days of our lives gifts, even if only in our inner world, which is where we always have the ultimate choice ... if we so desire.

We thoughtlessly scatter these gifts - our days - throughout the years of our lives, rarely giving much thought to what we are so mindlessly throwing away ... our very life, because what is our life if not a succession of hours and days?

When I see an image of a dew-covered lush green leaf or flower such as that depicted here, I am always filled with the immensity of nature's freshness of each new day. That plant or leaf may be gone at the end of the day, but a new one springs forth the next morning.

To view our days as precious is a step in the right direction. The choice to recognize that we may elect to nurture them into verdant life is ours to make. And by making such a conscious choice we enrich our lives.

Image: Craig Tuttle/Corbis

Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch:

 
Rewiring the Soul

Click here to download the first chapter.
To see the Table of Contents click here

Reviews From the Back Cover:

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, Director, Center for Sacred Theatre, Ashland, Oregon; author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre

"Rewiring the Soul is one the best introductions to the spiritual life I've ever read. Not esoteric but real-world & practical. The implications are profound." Peter Shepherd; Founder Trans4mind.com; author: Daring To Be Yourself 

"The human being's directory to the soul. A breakthrough for those seeking practical assistance, those of a more mystical bent & every soul awaiting discovery." Toni Petrinovich, Ph.D.; author: The Call: Awakening the Angelic Human

The Tao of Spiritual Partnership

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

Praise for The Tao of Spiritual Partnership

“All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come."
Chris Griscom: Spiritual Leader, Author (among others) of: Ecstasy is a New Frequency

“Eloquent and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion.” 

Robert Schwartz: Author of Your Soul’s Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born 


The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self 


My new book: The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self, is just out. Click here to download an excerpt. 

From the Introduction: It is your right to live a life of love. It is your right to understand that loving yourself first is not a selfish way of behavior, but one that allows you to live that life of love. However, it's highly probable that you never got the instruction manual explaining exactly how to accomplish this. Possibly your family - and it may have been a loving family - considered loving the self an act of selfishness. Or perhaps the members of your family simply didn't practice loving the self, and of course, what you didn't see - what was not shown to you - while you were growing up, meant that you just didn't learn how to apply it to yourself. The closer you are able to move towards loving yourself, the closer you will be to living a life of love - quite independently of whether you are in a love relationship or not. A life of love can be lived with or without a partnership, because a life of love implies that you know that it all begins with you by loving the self. The more clearly you understand how to love yourself, the more clearly you will see that it is very hard - if not impossible - to love others in ways that are unrelated to fulfilling any of your needs. Loving yourself first is - for so many of us - one of the hardest things we will ever learn how to do. But know this: the benefits affect you in every particle of your being - body, mind, and soul - and are greater than you will ever be able to imagine.


Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is The Tao of Spiritual Partnership, so named for another one of my books. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.