WELCOME TO THIS BLOG


"A revelation of insight into the foundations of human suffering & transcendence. It not only lays out essential steps for inner freedom and joy but illuminates the way to true human potential." Paul Rademacher, author: A Spiritual Hitchhiker's Guide to the Universe

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre

"Rewiring the Soul is one the best introductions to the spiritual life I've ever read. Not esoteric but real-world and practical. The implications are profound." Peter Shepherd, author: Daring To Be Yourself

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Applying What You Already Know to Your Life


You've been to so many workshops, retreats and seminars. You've read many of the books. Each time you attend another seminar, especially those that last a whole weekend, or even a week, they get you all pumped up, and you know that now finally things are going to change in your life ... but nothing changes. Same old, same old.

You know so much, so that when you read that new book, or listen to another seminar, you find that they are telling you fewer and fewer new things. You've already heard so much about it all. But nothing has changed in your life. Things are not getting much better.

So what's going on?

If you don't apply what you know on a daily basis, 24/7, nothing will change. The excitement and stimulation and hope and yearning that you feel when you read that new book or go to that new workshop, is only going to last as long as the book or workshop lasts unless you begin to apply the knowledge. And that will depend exclusively on you. On your choices. On all that you think, feel, say and do 24/7.

The best part is that at least at the beginning it doesn't make much difference which path you choose to move forward. All paths eventually lead to Rome. Once you've already moved some distance down that path of growing and changing, you might want to take another look and perhaps you'll decide on a different way to do it at that point. But right now - when you're still at the initial stages of the path and haven't yet actually begun to move, don't let yourself booked down by the decision-making process, secon-guessing yourself, trying to decide which path is the best. They all have merit. Simply pick one that resonates and start. Now. It's a choice.

Read also these other posts:
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Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is out globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English)


Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (Spanish & German - coming Spring 2015)

 

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is The Tao of Spiritual Partnership, so named for another one of my books. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

My blog posts are also featured on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, Pinterest & you can find me on Instagram

Meine Bücher auf Deutsch ab Frühjahr 2015 
Mis libros en español a partir de la primavera de 2015

Angefangen mit Rewiring the Soul - auf Deutsch: Deine Seele und Du (Blog hier), werden meine Bücher weltweit auf Amazon ab Frühjahr 2015 erhaltbar sein.

Empezando con Rewiring the Soul - en español: Reconectar con el Alma (blog aquí), se podrán encontrar mis libros globalmente en Amazon en español a partir de la primavera de 2015.


Friday, May 8, 2015

Nose Breathing Vs Mouth Breathing: Huge Benefits


Lest you think this is about yoga - it is not, although there are extensive references to this in yoga. How do you breathe when you walk, sit, or basically do most activities? Do you get much of your oxygen through your nose or do you get it through your mouth? If you're not sure, just observe yourself for several moments.

It turns out that about 80% of those of us who live in the Western world breathe through the mouth. The lungs are a primary source of our energy level. They extract oxygen from the air we breathe primarily on the exhale. Because the nostrils are smaller then the mouth, air exhaled through the nose creates back pressure when one exhales. It slows the air escape so the lungs have more time to extract oxygen from them. When there is proper oxygen-carbon dioxide exchange, the blood will maintain a balanced pH. If carbon dioxide is lost too quickly, as in mouth breathing, oxygen absorption is decreased (1). Our nasal passages are created to humidify, clean and warm the incoming flow of air due to the layers of protective mucus. This thin layer of mucus can trap about 98-99% of bacteria, viruses, dust particles, and other airborne objects (4).

FACTS:
  • Your nose is the only organ able to properly prepare the air you breathe; mouth breathing leads to over-breathing, chronic hyperventilation, depleted carbon dioxide levels, reduced blood circulation, buildup of toxins and narrowing of the airways.
  • Mouth breathing and resultant over-breathing elevates your blood pressure and heart rate and worsens asthma, allergies, rhinitis, sleep apnea, and deprives your heart, brain and other organs of optimal oxygenation
  • Overbreathing and hyperventilation during exercise can lead to reduced performance, and can also cause vasoconstriction, which increases your risk for arrhythmias and heart problems, even if you have none of the usual cardiac risk factors 
  • Some researchers believe that mouth breathing and associated hyperventilation causes or exacerbates asthma, high blood pressure, heart disease
  • Nose breathing 24 hours a day is extremely important for those who desire the longest and most healthy life. (1)
  • Nasal breathing is inherently slower than mouth breathing and will help reduce stress and hypertension. (2)
  • Nasal breathing promotes good oral health. Mouth breathing causes a drying out of the gums, increases the acidity in the mouth encouraging both cavities and gum disease (3)
EXERCISE:

Nasal breathing is more efficient than mouth breathing in terms of supplying oxygen to the body. When performing cardiovascular exercise it is therefore preferable to inhale and exhale through the nose. If you are exercising and become out of breath, it is faster to exhale through the mouth than the nose, but this will reduce the amount of oxygen extracted from each exhalation. Additionally, the nostrils and sinuses play a part in filtering and warming the air that is inhaled into the lungs. This filtering effect is helpful in keeping bacteria and particles out of your body. When exercising in chilly weather, breathing through the nose prevents cold air from going straight to your lungs and causing chest and throat pain. (2)

SOME CONDITIONS HELPED WITH NASAL BREATHING (3):
  • Asthma
  • Sinusitis
  • Allergies including hayfever
  • COPD (chronic obstructive pulmonary disorder)
  • ME/CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome)
  • Anxiety & panic attacks
BLOCKED NOSE:

Almost all the sources listed here have information for those of you who find nasal breathing challenging due to a blocked nose, deviated septum, etc.

MY EXPERIENCE:

I have been a chronic mouth breather (during exercise) for some time, although during exercise I would often try to consciously inhale nasally and exhale through the mouth. Once I read the article (5) below, and watched the videos in it about the Buteyko Breathing Method, I became aware of all of the issues discussed in this post, and decided I would change, and began to do so during my daily exercise which consists of about 45 minutes walking in the sand on the beach, and also progressively incorporate it to the rest of the day. Note: not on the sand, but in the sand, which is considerably more strenuous than walking on packed dirt, grass or cement. The first days I had great difficulty maintaining my mouth shut for more than a minute or so. It almost felt as though I would suffocate. However, with each progressive day, I noticed how much easier it became, and how much longer I was able to do it (although I had to think about it all the time; i.e., I had to be mindful, because if not, I would revert to mouth breathing, even when I wasn't having a hard time). Finally, after about eight days, I was able to nose breathe the entire time, opening my mouth only to drink water. 

Sources:
  1. http://www.breathing.com/articles/nose-breathing.htm 
  2. http://www.livestrong.com/article/255298-mouth-breathing-vs-nasal-breathing/
  3. http://www.breathingremedies.co.uk/2014/01/29/nasal-breathing/
  4. http://www.normalbreathing.com/index-nasal.php
  5. Learn normal breathing: http://www.normalbreathing.com/learn.php
  6. http://fitness.mercola.com/sites/fitness/archive/2015/04/24/breathing-techniques.aspx 
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Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is out globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English)


Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (Spanish & German - coming Spring 2015)

 

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is The Tao of Spiritual Partnership, so named for another one of my books. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

My blog posts are also featured on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, Pinterest & you can find me on Instagram

Meine Bücher auf Deutsch ab Frühjahr 2015 
Mis libros en español a partir de la primavera de 2015

Angefangen mit Rewiring the Soul - auf Deutsch: Deine Seele und Du (Blog hier), werden meine Bücher weltweit auf Amazon ab Frühjahr 2015 erhaltbar sein.

Empezando con Rewiring the Soul - en español: Reconectar con el Alma (blog aquí), se podrán encontrar mis libros globalmente en Amazon en español a partir de la primavera de 2015.


Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Your Brain on Walking


Exactly what happens to your brain when you walk? Just walk. Wonderful changes take place. Allow yourself to be informed, because your brain on walking - such a simple little way of exercising - achieves magnificent things:
  • your memory is improved. One study of nearly 19,000 nurses showed that those who walked about six hours per week (aged 70-81) were 20% less likely to show cognitive impairment than those who did not exercise (Source)
  • In a study at UBC, researchers found that regular aerobic exercise (e.g., walking), the kind that gets your heart and sweat glands pumping, boosts the size of the hippocampus, the brain area involved in verbal memory and learning, Resistance training, balance and muscle toning exercises did not have the same results. (Source)
  • Another study showed that the optimal exercise for cognitive health benefits was to walk 6-9 miles each week (1.5 miles per day, six days per week) in order to cut in half the risk of developing memory problems (Source)
  • Exercise helps memory and thinking through both direct and indirect means. The benefits of exercise come directly from its ability to reduce insulin resistance, reduce inflammation, and stimulate the release of growth factors - chemicals in the brain that affect the health of brain cells, the growth of new blood vessels in the brain, and even the abundance and survival of new brain cells. (Source)
  • Peter Snyder of Brown's University Alpert Medical School who studies the effects of aging on the brain recently told National Public Radio that "what we're finding is that of all of these noninvasive ways of intervening, it is exercise that seems to have the most efficacy at this point - more so than nutritional supplements, vitamins, and cognitive interventions. (Source)
  • Even moderate walking (more than two hours a week) helps stave off further deterioration among elderly people in the early stages of Alzheimer's disease. (Source)
  • More walking results in greater brain volume.
And walking has been shown time after time to be one of the best activities - as long as it is done on a regular basis to boost all of the above. It's so very easy. And can be very pleasurable. So what's stopping you? It's another one of those choices you can make.

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Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is out globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English)


Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (Spanish & German - coming Spring 2015)

 

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is The Tao of Spiritual Partnership, so named for another one of my books. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

My blog posts are also featured on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, Pinterest & you can find me on Instagram

Meine Bücher auf Deutsch ab Frühjahr 2015 
Mis libros en español a partir de la primavera de 2015

Angefangen mit Rewiring the Soul - auf Deutsch: Deine Seele und Du (Blog hier), werden meine Bücher weltweit auf Amazon ab Frühjahr 2015 erhaltbar sein.

Empezando con Rewiring the Soul - en español: Reconectar con el Alma (blog aquí), se podrán encontrar mis libros globalmente en Amazon en español a partir de la primavera de 2015.


Monday, May 4, 2015

Coming to Morning Through the Shadows


Life is often not easy. Frequently many of the people I see privately are in great pain, not only about emotional and psychological issues, but about the circumstances of their lives. Whether it's a quesrtion of cause and effect, because we have taken paths that led us to where we are now, or whether it is bad luck, or terrible external geo-political and economic situations, the point is that it is often very hard to figure out how to continue.

Nevertheless, it is precisely when it is darkest, and when you seem to have lost all hope, that you most need to remember that life can change in a heartbeat. Or that you can make things change - even if only in your head and the way you view them. Or how you react to them - most particularly, how you choose to react to them.

It is at times like that when it is so very important to recognize that you need something that keeps you going on. You may have a collection of quotations or poetry that mean something to you; that inspire and motivate you; that allow you to feel hope. Or perhaps you have collected books or videos (of films or seminars with motivational or inspirational speakers) that again, mean something to you; that inspire and motivate you; that allow you to feel hope. Or perhaps you have cultivated a practice of some kind, such as mindfulness, that allows you to be in charge of your thoughts, in order that they are not able to torture you with the circumstances in which you find yourself. Or perhaps you have already found meaning in your life. Something that gives you a feeling of purpose. That, in and of itself, is one of the best ways to find inner strength during great darkness. Having a meaning in your life can give you such conviction that you are able to carry on, that it will be very hard to keep you down.

So back to the darkness. Back to the shadows that are holding the light away from your life. If you already have some of the above ways of managing the dark parts of your life in your pocket, so to speak, you will know what to do. If you have not, this is the best time to start. Now.

It was Tolkien who said: you can only come to the morning through the shadows.

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Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is out globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English)


Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (Spanish & German - coming Spring 2015)

 


Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is The Tao of Spiritual Partnership, so named for another one of my books. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

My blog posts are also featured on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, Pinterest & you can find me on Instagram

Meine Bücher auf deutsch ab Frühjahr 2015 
Mis libros en español a partir de la primavera de 2015

Angefangen mit Rewiring the Soul - auf deutsch: Deine Seele und Du (Blog hier), werden meine Bücher weltweit auf Amazon ab Frühjahr 2015 erhaltbar sein.

Empezando con Rewiring the Soul - en español: Reconectar con el Alma (blog aquí), se podrán encontrar mis libros globalmente en Amazon en español a partir de la primavera de 2015.


Thursday, April 30, 2015

The Pull of What You Really Love


Recently a person who has been working very consciously and diligently on re-shaping the inner world, said to me: I feel so excited when I do this, and my reply was: it's because for the first time you are truly coming into connection with yourself.

There is always an inner sensation of resonance and excitement when in some fashion you connect with your true self, your inner self, or, as many authors put it: your soul. You feel energized, you feel good, there is, in fact, a similar sensation to how you feel when the person you love enters the room and you catch a glimpse of him/her in the distance. There is a simple reason for this: as you come into contact with yourself, you also begin the process of loving the self, and quite frankly, there is nothing quite so magnificent as that. Loving the self is the basis - the true foundation - for so much else if you seek inner peace, harmony, joy and well-being, that to not begin to do it (loving yourself) consciously, if at all possible, is to deny yourself the greatest of tools for health in all dimensions.

Once someone is conversant with that sensation of excitement that arises as they begin to connect with their inner self, they will also begin to understand what lies behind the pull of what you really love. There is a similar feeling of excitement when you begin to connect (work, study, hobby) with something that you really love. And of course the reason is based on the same principle: the excitement you feel when you do that thing (whatever it is), or even just think about doing that thing, comes about because you are connecting to some core element of that true self, that inner self, or your soul, that was referred to above.

So the pull of what you really love can be much stronger than any other pull ... stronger than the pull of the desire for material acquisition, stronger than the desire for social, professional or academic prominence Somerset Maugham wrote his magnificent "The Razor's Edge" about this very theme), and when you feel that pull, you would be well advised to heed it. It was Rumi who said: Let yourself be silently drawn by the stronger pull of what you really love.

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Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is out globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English)


Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (Spanish & German - coming Spring 2015)

 

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is The Tao of Spiritual Partnership, so named for another one of my books. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

My blog posts are also featured on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, Pinterest & you can find me on Instagram

Meine Bücher auf deutsch ab Frühjahr 2015 
Mis libros en español a partir de la primavera de 2015

Angefangen mit Rewiring the Soul - auf deutsch: Deine Seele und Du (Blog hier), werden meine Bücher weltweit auf Amazon ab Frühjahr 2015 erhaltbar sein.

Empezando con Rewiring the Soul - en español: Reconectar con el Alma (blog aquí), se podrán encontrar mis libros globalmente en Amazon en español a partir de la primavera de 2015.


Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Different Vibrations, Different Results


"If you desire something (material, experiential, whatever), but your beliefs and thoughts all day long are about how impossible it will be for you to get it, and that you are being silly just to imagine that you will get it, then you are "entertaining" two very different vibrations simultaneously that will cancel each other out." This is a quote by Abraham.

To put it into other words, whatever it is you wish to achieve, your mindset needs to remain on that thought, and on the belief that you will achieve it. The more you meander about, either on negative thoughts, or fear thoughts, or doubt thoughts, or thoughts about what so-and-so said about this, or thoughts that you will not be able to achieve your goal (of whatever type), the more you are drawing yourself away from being able to achieve it, and just as importantly, the more you are drawing yourself away from the vibrational energy that could lead you to your goal.

With this thought we come back to the idea mentioned so often here (and not originally mine, but of many other authors throughout the millennia; something so wonderful to know, because by knowing it, you will be able to go in whichever direction you choose).

This idea is the notion of your own energy, your vibrational frequency. Your own energy is produced by your thoughts and feelings. The best way to maintain your energy high (and of course I am not talking so much about the energy you require to run a marathon, but the energy within you, that allows you to feel good - as a whole - about yourself and your life circumstances), is by paying close attention to your feelings. And then to correct as needed. It is through a specific good energy, or vibrational frequency that you are able to attract to your life that which you seek).

This vibrational frequency can be equated to a radio transmission. If you are searching for my radio show at the local level (a weekly one-hour show I had from 2003-2009 ... segments are still up on my website here), you know that you have to go to a specific radio frequency on your dial. If you do not, you either don't get my program, or you get static, and a fuzzy reception, so you will not be able to understand what is being said.

It's exactly the same with your own vibrational frequency: if it is not on the right dial; if you are in a frame of mind or state of feeling that is not good, then you will only get static when you go after your goals, or you may not get anything at all.

Simple as this analogy sounds, it is so true. Change your feelings, use the energy barometer within you thanks to your state of feeling, and begin to observe how you can fine tune the emission in order to achieve exactly what you are aiming for.

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Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is out globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English)


Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (Spanish & German - coming Spring 2015)

 

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is The Tao of Spiritual Partnership, so named for another one of my books. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

My blog posts are also featured on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, Pinterest & you can find me on Instagram

Meine Bücher auf deutsch ab Frühjahr 2015 
Mis libros en español a partir de la primavera de 2015

Angefangen mit Rewiring the Soul - auf deutsch: Wiedervereinigung mit der Seele (Blog hier), werden meine Bücher weltweit auf Amazon ab Frühjahr 2015 erhaltbar sein.

Empezando con Rewiring the Soul - en español: Reconectar con el Alma (blog aquí), se podrán encontrar mis libros globalmente en Amazon en español a partir de la primavera de 2015.


Friday, April 24, 2015

Is Moodiness Your 'Default' Mode?


Waking up in a bad mood, or devolving into one during the course of the day, is almost always a sign of not really being aware of yourself. Moods are different from negative emotions (although both are difficult and can be dealt with if you so choose because it is a choice) in that moods are so much more all-pervasive, all-encompassing, and in some fashion appear to envelop the person affected by them in a dense fog of ... well ... moodiness. Almost as though you get lost in them, as you might get lost in the fog. Sometimes - possibly very often - you're not even quite sure exactly why you're in such-and-such a mood. Emotions, on the other hand, are more defined, crisp, and potentially closer to your awareness.

I've written a great deal (in these articles and in this blog and in this other blog) about emotions and how to deal with them. Today I want to address mood and moodiness.

You've probably been in this situation: you come home and find your partner wearing a dour expression. Or a sour one. Or perhaps the curves of his/her mouth are simply etching a moue. So you ask: What's wrong, dear? And you are told: Nothing. Of course you know something is wrong, but even if you probe a bit further - at this particular point, you most certainly don't appear to be getting a reply. And perhaps the most difficult part about trying to understand  it tends to be the fact that you could get this same answer whether or not you have done anything to cause the mood, according to your partner.

Another situation related to mood can be observed when someone asks you how you are, and you realize that you are not only not 'good', but that you've been in a foul mood since Monday. And you hadn't really stopped to think about it ... you just were living inside that foul mood.

What's not right with this scenario? If you are in a mood of some kind you may know that you are annoyed about something, or upset in some way, or just plain down or miserable, but the lack of a clear answer, realization, or understanding about exactly what is going on, tells you that some, if not a lot, of awareness around this mood is missing. With missing awareness comes missing self-responsibility for the mood (remember that 'you are always responsible for your happiness'), as well as a missing self-responsibility for being not only more forth-coming with your partner, but also for being kinder, more considerate, and simply - less moody - with your partner in the face of a question (such as in the first example). Also, with missing awareness, comes a further missing decision to make better choices, and finally - and most importantly, comes a lack of self-caring and self-love. If you care for yourself, and if you love yourself in healthy ways, you will 'catch' those moods when they threaten to overtake you, and you will very proactively do something about them, not because you're going to pretend that this or that isn't wrong in your life, but because you don't want to be caught in a sticky spiderweb of your own blind reactions to life. Taking care of this is a huge part of what it means to love yourself. If you are not yet taking care of it on a regular basis; i.e., catching it as it happens, and then choosing to change it, you will have to trust me that you have not yet really begun to love yourself.

Doing something about the moods has to do with your self-dialogue. What do you tell yourself when a bad mood overtakes you like a thundercloud overtakes a sunny afternoon? There can be countless variations, but you probably are familiar with your own. So therefore it has to do with you then choosing to change that narrative. Perhaps a part of the new one is: I don't really want to be here - in this moody state - so I'm going to do something about it. Perhaps that 'something' is deliberately focusing on beauty and gratitude in order to make a mindful energetic shift. It won't be huge, but it will take you in the right direction. And if you then continue on that particular road, and if you have time, you might choose (because you care for yourself and your inner well-being) to take a mindfulness walk (which will help you also change the state of your thoughts if you practice it on a daily basis) and/or to vamp up that good energy that is beginning to build up by further listening to, viewing, or reading some inspirational and motivational material (so much is freely available on the web). You want to bring yourself to a point where this higher inner energetic frequency is part of who you are; is part of your 'default' mode. These are choices you can make on a daily basis and they will have an enormous impact - if you continue doing them - on the quality of your life.


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Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is out globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English)


Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (Spanish & German - coming Spring 2015)

 

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is The Tao of Spiritual Partnership, so named for another one of my books. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

My blog posts are also featured on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, Pinterest & you can find me on Instagram

Meine Bücher auf deutsch ab Frühjahr 2015 
Mis libros en español a partir de la primavera de 2015

Angefangen mit Rewiring the Soul - auf deutsch: Wiedervereinigung mit der Seele (Blog hier), werden meine Bücher weltweit auf Amazon ab Frühjahr 2015 erhaltbar sein.

Empezando con Rewiring the Soul - en español: Reconectar con el Alma (blog aquí), se podrán encontrar mis libros globalmente en Amazon en español a partir de la primavera de 2015.


Wednesday, April 22, 2015

The Life You Don't Lead


Oscar Wilde said: One's real life is often the life that one does not lead.

Why would the life that one doesn't lead be one's real life? Think for a moment how frequently you get side-tracked by what others think. You have a plan or a desire or an idea, and then, because of censure you feel you might receive from others or because someone says something to you that is critical or derisory about what you are planning, you set your own ideas aside.

Just like that hey have been annihilated. Blown away like leaves in the wind. And you can't really blame the other person - they merely stated their opinion. The problem is that you listened, and let it affect you to the point that you buried your own thoughts and are now living life - at least in this regard - according to what the other person has said, and so now where is your own life?

See also my March 2006 newsletter: Intentional Focus: Your Happiness, Your Success, and the Law of Attraction and my August 2007 newsletter: Making Fear of the Unknown Work for You.

So once you recognize that you aren't leading the life you wish to lead, you need to make some changes. Most of them have to do with becoming aware of your own thoughts about things that are said to you, how you then react to those thoughts, and even whether you decide to share information to others. But remember: sometimes the censure you receive is totally based on your thoughts of what others think as opposed to what anyone has said, hence learning to deal with your own thoughts is paramount. Look under the label for thoughts below this article to find previous posts about the subject, with information about how to be the one who is in charge of your thoughts and reactions, as opposed to being at their mercy.

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Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is out globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English)


Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (Spanish & German - coming Spring 2015)

 

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is The Tao of Spiritual Partnership, so named for another one of my books. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

My blog posts are also featured on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, Pinterest & you can find me on Instagram

Meine Bücher auf deutsch ab Frühjahr 2015 
Mis libros en español a partir de la primavera de 2015

Angefangen mit Rewiring the Soul - auf deutsch: Wiedervereinigung mit der Seele (Blog hier), werden meine Bücher weltweit auf Amazon ab Frühjahr 2015 erhaltbar sein.

Empezando con Rewiring the Soul - en español: Reconectar con el Alma (blog aquí), se podrán encontrar mis libros globalmente en Amazon en español a partir de la primavera de 2015.


Monday, April 20, 2015

Self-Actualizing People


Long before I read about Abraham Maslow in my psychology classes, I had been introduced to him by Wayne Dyer, who often speaks of the influence Maslow - one of the founders of humanistic psychology - had on him during his formative years at university. Maslow is the psychologist who came up with the theory of the hierarchy of needs in 1943 that has been taught in psychology departments at most universities ever since. This theory contends that as humans meet basic needs such as safety, food, sex, and companionship, they then seek to satisfy successively higher needs - growth needs - most particularly self-actualization.

So Dyer relates that Maslow often said that the difference between self-actualizers and ordinary people is that self-actualizers never put their attention on:
  • what is missing in their lives
  • what is in their lives (if they don't like what is)
  • what has always been
  • what used to be (the past)
but they put their attention on, and they keep it on what they intend to manifest (on their goals). It makes no difference to them what kind of negative evidence comes their way, or what kind of obstacles they run into, they never take their mind off that picture.

Henry David Thoreau had this to say about a similar subject: "If you advance confidently in the direction of your dreams, and endeavor to live the life which you have imagined, you will meet with success unexpected in common hours."

Another thing Maslow often repeated to Wayne Dyer about the kind of person that self-actualizes was this:

They are different from others in that they:
  • are independent of the good opinion of others, i.e. they do whatever it is that they do because they are convinced of it, and because it drives them, not because someone else approves or disapproves, praises or criticizes

  • are detached from the outcome, i.e., they do whatever it is that they do because there is a meaning in it for them, and not because it will bring them money, fame, or good will, respect, prestige, or position in society

  • have no investment in power or control over others
Where are you on this hierarchy? How much is your life ruled by what others think, or how much you can control them, as opposed to being ruled by what you have decided you want to achieve because you have made conscious choices about your purpose in life?

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Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is out globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English)


Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (Spanish & German - coming Spring 2015)

 

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is The Tao of Spiritual Partnership, so named for another one of my books. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

My blog posts are also featured on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, Pinterest & you can find me on Instagram

Meine Bücher auf deutsch ab Frühjahr 2015 
Mis libros en español a partir de la primavera de 2015

Angefangen mit Rewiring the Soul - auf deutsch: Wiedervereinigung mit der Seele (Blog hier), werden meine Bücher weltweit auf Amazon ab Frühjahr 2015 erhaltbar sein.

Empezando con Rewiring the Soul - en español: Reconectar con el Alma (blog aquí), se podrán encontrar mis libros globalmente en Amazon en español a partir de la primavera de 2015.


Thursday, April 16, 2015

Walking Away From Anger: Forgiving


This topic is so multi-faceted, that entire books could be - and have been - written about it. Today I merely want to touch on a tiny aspect of it. But a hugely important one.

When you experience great anger around a relatively small incident ... say, for example, that you return to your parked car and find that the driver's side is blocked by a motorcycle, parked in such a way that you can scarcely open your door, let alone get in, meaning you now have to climb in from the passenger side and maneuver over the gear shift, and you notice that the anger that surges in you makes you want - even if only in your mind - to do physical harm to the inconsiderate being who did this to you ... then it's not just about anger. Something else is going on.

While we can all understand anger, it is important to recognize that such strong anger over an incident that is  - in the grand scheme of things - something relatively minor, is anger that does not in fact come specifically due to the incident, but has its roots in something different. It might be childhood hurts or being abandoned (physically, emotionally, psychologically), it might be feeling misunderstood in other earlier moments of life that were never addressed, and so now, whenever something happens that causes you to feel mistreated, ignored, or "dumped" in some fashion, anger arises that is generally far greater than the situation merits.

Understand that this is a message from you to you. A clue that something is amiss. A signal that you might wish to examine what is going on under the magnifying glass of your past.

And once you have done that - even if just in cursory fashion - you are ready to take the next step in order to resolve, or begin to resolve this thing in you that creates such anger: you are ready to consider that you might wish to forgive ... that you might wish to choose to forgive. Not for the other person's sake, not for anything or anyone else but yourself. In order to be able to lay this to rest. In order to be free of it. In order to be able to live in peace. And as you do it, as you begin to forgive, you begin to show yourself that you love yourself.

Related Articles:
Note: this post was previously published on this blog

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Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My new book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is now out globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English)


Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (Spanish & German - coming Spring 2015)

 

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is The Tao of Spiritual Partnership, so named for another one of my books. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

My blog posts are also featured on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, Pinterest & you can find me on Instagram

Meine Bücher auf deutsch ab Frühjahr 2015
Mis libros en español a partir de la primavera de 2015

Angefangen mit Rewiring the Soul - auf deutsch: Wiedervereinigung mit der Seele (Blog hier), werden meine Bücher auf Amazon ab Frühjahr 2015 erhaltbar sein.

Empezando con Rewiring the Soul - en español: Reconectar con el Alma (blog aquí), se podrán encontrar mis libros en Amazon en español en todo el mundo a partir de la primavera de 2015.