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"A revelation of insight into the foundations of human suffering & transcendence. It not only lays out essential steps for inner freedom and joy but illuminates the way to true human potential." Paul Rademacher, author: A Spiritual Hitchhiker's Guide to the Universe

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre

"Rewiring the Soul is one the best introductions to the spiritual life I've ever read. Not esoteric but real-world and practical. The implications are profound." Peter Shepherd, author: Daring To Be Yourself

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Basing Your Behavior on Your Heart Instead of Your Ego


Being motivated by the ego rather than the heart is such a big one for so many of us. We see it frequently (and recognize it easily as such), for example when a couple splits up and instead of making their children's well-being a priority (which would be heart-based behavior), they can only see those things which allow them to feel that they are getting even with the ex-partner (which is ego-based behavior). This might include such niceties as not showing up when they have visitation, or not paying child-support until forced to by law, or refusing to have anything to do with the children while they're with the partner and only interacting with the children when they are actually physically together, to continually badmouthing the other parent, or deliberately withholding the children in some fashion from the other parent, making phone calls difficult, and impeding easy visitation in whatever way they can. Such a parent might carry on a vicious custody battle, only to leave the children to the care of a nanny, in the event they win. Or they might drop off the children for a weekend with the non-custodial parent with the wrong clothes or too few clothes, to ensure that the non-custodial parent has to spend more money and time during the short hours they have with the child/ren. There are as many modalities of this kind of behavior as there are imaginative minds. The bottom line however is this: the kids never win. Even the ego-based behavior person doesn't win, because in some fashion, at some time they will pay a price.

But I find that we are perhaps a bit more blind in recognizing ego-based behavior when it comes in connection to concepts such as pride and honor, and even more nebulous concepts that somehow involve self-righteousness, such as you are wrong and I am right. You have insulted me, and you think perhaps I have been lacking in respect, and now both of us get up on our high horse regarding the matter, and completely lose sight of the fact that beyond all of this we actually love each other. This often happens in families. I've had clients come to see me that may have been estranged from their parent/s or children for years, even decades. And when you unravel it, and come right down to what happened - it is very often a case of the individual ego being stronger than the love. Or it can happen that the person with this ego simply doesn't know how to let go of the ego in order to let love rule. Not knowing how is often a huge factor. Even if one of the two parties is operating from the heart, if the other continues in his/her ego, the heart-based person may not be able to crack the shell. And of course it's also possible that both are coming from the ego, and neither is letting love be the decisive factor.

How this comes about is actually relatively easy to understand: we lose sight of what is important and remain in a place where higher importance - more value - is given to something that has to do with pride and honor, or being right, as opposed to love. The former is ego-based; the latter is heart-based.

In smaller ways it often happens with parents and adolescents as well, especially when the teens are in that time of their lives that psychoanalysts used to call Sturm und Drang, which I actually prefer to call: 'the time when they shape-shift into aliens from outer space'. So of course, when parents come to see me at that time of a teen's life and request that I 'fix' their teen, I tend to urge better - and much more heart-based than ego-based - communication. And I encourage the parents to exercise their role as parents (which is, in fact, a valid concept even when the parents are in middle or old age and the teens are no longer teens but well into their 30's and 40's), by showing that they are the mature ones (for this to work, they - the parents - actually must be the mature ones, and that unfortunately is often not the case). This involves speaking to their offspring in ways that remind them (or perhaps clearly point out for the first time) that what they (the parents) really care about is the love that exists between them and the teen, as opposed to the issue - whatever the issue might be. And that by all keeping their eye on the love, the issue can more readily be resolved. That is heart-based behavior.

In order to allow heart-based behavior to be prevalent in your life, being aware and conscious of yourself is paramount. Add to that the full acceptance of total responsibility for yourself. All of this is strongly related to emotional maturity. And once that is in place, you will catch yourself quickly when you revert back to ego-based behavior, and you will then just as quickly move forward again to heart-based behavior. How can we ever expect there to be peace anywhere at all in the world, if we cannot even do this in the relationships we have with those who are closest and nearest to us: with those we love?

One final point: not forgiving is ego-based. Forgiving is heart-based.

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Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books (also in Spanish & German). My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is available globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.


Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English). Available globally in paperback or Kindle e-book versions


Bücher von Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (Deutsch) ... JETZT bei Amazon (Taschenbuch oder E-Book) erhältlich 
DEINE SEELE UND DU
  

Angefangen mit Rewiring the Soul - auf Deutsch: Deine Seele und Du, jetzt weltweit erhältlich als Taschenbuch oder Kindle E-Book (Blog hier), werden auch meine anderen Bücher in Zukunft auf Deutsch bei Amazon erhältlich sein.

Libros por Gabriella Kortsch (español) ... ahora en todo el mundo en Amazon en versión bolsillo y Kindle



Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is The Tao of Spiritual Partnership, so named for another one of my books. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed. 

My blog posts are also featured on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, Pinterest & you can find me on Instagram 

Thursday, August 18, 2016

Being Transparent in Love


Who hasn’t lied in a relationship? Maybe not about something as shattering as having an affair on the side, but perhaps something more light-weight such as pretending to like football or opera at the beginning so you can be with the football or opera lover, when it actually bores you. And who hasn’t been lied to in a relationship – and felt the results: lack of trust and a general sense of malaise that permeates everything from that point forward, because you just don’t know anymore whether the person that lied once can be trusted to not lie in future.

Transparency and the lack of it in relationships, is a condition with consequences whose insidious tentacles extend much further than pure and simple lying. Transparency means saying what is really inside of you. Transparency means not equivocating about what is important to you. It is not pushing your opinions or likes and dislikes on others, but it is being honest about them when they become part of what is happening in the relationship.

And of course, this applies not only to our love relationships, but to all the important relationships in our lived.

Being transparent implies being vulnerable, because the transparency…the visibility of your inner self ... is now out in the open, for your partner (or simply the person with whom you have a relationship, a friend, a family member, etc.), to see, to palpate, to react to, to comment about, and possibly, to reject. Clearly, this latter reason, coupled with the fear most people have of being vulnerable (see also “Leaving Your Comfort Zone: Fear of Emotional Expression”), causes many to avoid the issue of transparency. If I allow him or her to see the real me, or so one reasons, he/she will not want to be with me, or will think I am too this or too that. And yet, if you do not allow the other to see the real you, how will they ever really get to know you? And therefore, if they fall in love with you, what or who are they falling in love with??? A chimera, evanescent by nature, since it is not real. Is it not better to risk possible rejection by being transparent, and thus eventually be loved for one’s real self by someone who appreciates it, than to be loved for what one is not?

***************

Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books (also in Spanish & German). My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is available globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.


Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English). Available globally in paperback or Kindle e-book versions


Bücher von Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (Deutsch) ... JETZT bei Amazon (Taschenbuch oder E-Book) erhältlich 
DEINE SEELE UND DU
  

Angefangen mit Rewiring the Soul - auf Deutsch: Deine Seele und Du, jetzt weltweit erhältlich als Taschenbuch oder Kindle E-Book (Blog hier), werden auch meine anderen Bücher in Zukunft auf Deutsch bei Amazon erhältlich sein.

Libros por Gabriella Kortsch (español) ... ahora en todo el mundo en Amazon en versión bolsillo y Kindle



Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is The Tao of Spiritual Partnership, so named for another one of my books. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed. 

My blog posts are also featured on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, Pinterest & you can find me on Instagram 

Friday, August 12, 2016

Physical Illnesses that Masquerade as Psychological Disorders


With this article my intention is to offer you some insights into your own psychological and physical health. Don’t simply accept what a professional (like myself and countless others across the globe) tells you. Become aware that misdiagnosis is a common issue, particularly in the field of the psyche. You may be labeled as having B – a psychological disorder – while in fact, you have C – a physical problem. As you can imagine the treatment for B is very different from the treatment for C.
  • Michael and Melanie make separate appointments to see a psychologist, psychotherapist, or psychiatrist for depression. At the end of that first session, and after due probing into his/her state of mind, probably the first two recommend a series of 5 - 20 sessions, and the third recommends an anti-depressant. However, instead of complying, they decide to have their hormone levels tested, and discover several are low. After beginning a course of bio-identical hormone replacement therapy, the depression lifts as early morning mist can dissipate with the heat of the sun. It’s possible that either of these two individuals was going through andropause or menopause, or it’s equally possible, that they are at an earlier stage of their life, but nevertheless suffering from hormonal imbalance due to prolonged chronic stress characteristic of our modern life style. Either way, assuming the situation is as described, hormones are the answer – not therapy. [i]
  • Stephen’s teacher tells his mother he probably has ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder). After a brief evaluation, the pediatrician concurs, and Ritalin (an amphetamine-like drug) is prescribed. For two years it makes Michael agitated, causes him to lose weight, and keeps him awake all night. However, with a subsequent evaluation by another physician, it was discovered that Stephen has iron-deficiency anemia and elevated lead levels. Both of these caused his irritability for which he had been prescribed the drug Ritalin, and this drug had, in fact, exacerbated his condition. Clearly, assuming the situation is as described, treating the iron deficiency and the elevated lead levels is the answer – not drugs or therapy.[ii]
  • Jonathan makes an appointment for an evaluation due to repeated memory issues - at 57 - an age that might be a little young to consider early-onset Alzheimer’s and is told that it has to be dealt with; it’s part of life, and while there are some brain-training exercises he can do, there are few solutions. Doing some research on the topic, he decides to have his Vitamin B12 levels tested and finds his are not only low, but extremely low, and this may sometimes occasion memory loss (and a host of other issues). After a course of B12 injections and/or sublingual supplementation (as he may no longer assimilate B12 well via his digestive system), his memory improves drastically. Assuming the situation is as described, a vitamin is the answer – not therapy. [iii]
  • Suzanne sought therapy for anxiety and panic attacks, coupled with insomnia, and was counseled to schedule a series of psychological sessions. Again, doing some research on the topic, she decided to increase her magnesium intake, and finds a lessening of all symptoms after a period of time. Assuming the situation is as described, a mineral is the answer – not therapy. [iv]
An internationally accepted “bible” of symptoms, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM)[v], came into being in 1952 (with numerous revisions since), and is used by a large part of the community of those professionals who deal with the human mind. In the above examples, certain symptoms were labeled a specific way, and then judged to be dealt with as described, without taking into consideration that there could be other reasons for these symptoms. Dr. Sydney Walker, a psychiatrist and author of A Dose of Sanity, writes:  “… a label is not a diagnosis. Saying someone is “depressed” or “anxious” is a far cry from finding out what causes the depression or anxiety; it’s comparable to a pediatrician saying a child has “spots”, without bothering to find out whether the spots are caused by measles, poison ivy, or staphylococcus. Patients who have been “diagnosed” as having manic depression, anxiety disorder, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, and so on, haven’t been diagnosed; they’ve merely been described.” [vi]

Ann Japenga writes: "I use the DSM-III-R probably every day," says Marc Graff, assistant chief of psychiatry for Kaiser Permanente in the east San Fernando Valley. "I keep a copy at work, one at home and I carry one on call. It helps me conceptualize what's going on with a patient." But others, both inside and outside the profession, consider the system of categorizing disorders arbitrary at best and dangerous at worse. "It's not really an objective document at all," argues University of Montreal sociology professor David Cohen, who specializes in mental-health trends. "There's really nothing scientific about it. It's really just a list of our sins and deviations; it's a repository of our fears and our dislikes and hatreds." [vii]
  • Joan’s (76) sudden depression turns out to be a side effect of her high blood-pressure medication. Therapy would not have solved her problem. [viii]
  • A young mother’s exhaustion and disinterest in her baby seems like postpartum depression, but in fact indicates a postpartum thyroid imbalance that can be corrected with medication. Therapy would not have solved her problem. [ix]
  • Harry (47), manager, has angry outburst at work, frequently feeling “ready to explode”. A temporal brain scan reveals temporal-lobe seizures, a type of epilepsy that can be treated with surgery or medication. Therapy would not have solved his problem. [x]
Harvard psychiatrist Barbara Schildkrout, author of Unmasking Psychological Symptoms (a book aimed at helping therapists broaden their diagnostic skills), indicates that more than 100 medical disorders can masquerade as psychological conditions:

What appears to be        May actually be …

Depression                  underactive thyroid, low vitamin D or B12, diabetes, hormonal changes, Lyme disease, lupus, head trauma, sleep disorders, some cancers and cancer drugs

Anxiety                      overactive thyroid, respiratory problems, very low blood pressure, concussion, anaphylactic shock

Irritability             brain injury, temporal lobe epilepsy, Alzheimer’s disease, parasitic infection, hormonal changes

Hallucinations             epilepsy, brain tumor, fever, narcolepsy, substance abuse

Cognitive changes     brain injury or infections, Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, liver failure, mercury or lead poisoning

Psychosis                    venereal disease, brain tumors and cysts, epilepsy, steroids, substance abuse[xi]

Jerrold Pollak, a neuropsychologist, indicates that – at least while further tests are being carried out - some patients may benefit from both psychological counseling and medical help. [xii]

Depression is often the first thing people notice when something is going on in the body, or at least, it’s the one that causes people to get help. In one way this is positive as it might help a therapist diagnose a health problem that could have gone undetected without the advent of the depressive symptoms, but unfortunately, far too often it is treated without going deeper into the patient’s symptoms and history in order to determine what might underlie it.[xiii]

I wish I had the space in this short article to tell you about the appalling number of cases of misdiagnoses that the authors of the books and articles I cite have recorded. A psychiatric diagnosis made too quickly, and on the basis of labels based on a “bible” that by the admission of many within the APA who publish the DSM, may be the wrong one. And furthermore, by treating it with therapy or drugs, may cause even greater damage. I am a psychotherapist and very much believe in my work. However, I also very much believe that blithely diagnosing without taking into account the many physical factors that might come into play, could be lethal for patients. Please inform yourself.

Note: While my interest in this article has been to pinpoint examples of a series of disorders that appear to be psychological, but are indeed, physical, please understand, that in other cases, those same disorders are, in fact, psychological, and will require another kind of treatment.




[i] Google “symptoms of hormonal imbalance”. Also Google “bio-identical hormone replacement”.
[ii] Walker, Sydney, A Dose of Sanity. New York, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 1996, p. 60.
[iii] Google “symptoms of Vitamin B12 deficiency”. Also read Could It Be B12: An Epidemic of Misdiagnoses by S.M. Pacholok & J.J. Stuart.
[iv] Google “symptoms of magnesium deficiency”. Also read The Magnesium Miracle by Carolyn Dean, or The Magnesium Factor by M.S. Selig & Andrea Rosanoff.
[v] Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders V, American Psychiatric Association, 2013.
[vi] Walker, Sydney, A Dose of Sanity. New York, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 1996, p. 5.
[vii] Japenga, Ann, Rewriting the Dictionary of Madness: Is the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders a Work of Pure Science or Just a List of Dangerous Labels. LA Times, June 5, 1994.
[viii] Beck, Melinda, Confusing Medical Ailments with Mental Illness. WSJ, August 9, 2011.
[ix] idem
[x] idem
[xi] Schildkrout, Barbara, Unmasking Psychological Symptoms. John Wiley & Sons, Hoboken, 2011.
[xii] Beck, Melinda, idem.
[xiii] Wasmer Andrews, Linda, Could Your Illness Trigger Depressive Symptoms? Feeling Blue? The Cause Could Be Diabetes or Other Diseases. Lifescript, February 27, 2012.

***************

Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may book a Skype session, download excerpts, or read quotations from any of my books (also in Spanish & German). My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is available globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.


Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English). Available globally in paperback or Kindle e-book versions


Bücher von Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (Deutsch) ... JETZT bei Amazon (Taschenbuch oder E-Book) erhältlich 
DEINE SEELE UND DU
  

Angefangen mit Rewiring the Soul - auf Deutsch: Deine Seele und Du, jetzt weltweit erhältlich als Taschenbuch oder Kindle E-Book (Blog hier), werden auch meine anderen Bücher in Zukunft auf Deutsch bei Amazon erhältlich sein.

Libros por Gabriella Kortsch (español) ... ahora en todo el mundo en Amazon en versión bolsillo y Kindle



Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is The Tao of Spiritual Partnership, so named for another one of my books. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed. 

My blog posts are also featured on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, Pinterest & you can find me on Instagram 

Monday, August 1, 2016

A New Way to Wake Up


Is it / has it been one of those Mondays that leaves you gasping - figuratively speaking - when you wake up and realize another day, another week, of going to work doing something you don't love? Something that perhaps you even actively dislike?

And of course the gasping comes from the fact that as you wake, and you remember that this is what you do - what you have to do - that you feel helpless about it. You want out. But don't know how to do it.

It's not that you're dealing drugs or sex-trafficking. It's not even that you're colluding to cheat innocent people of their money with high-flung schemes emerging from Wall Street. Your job may, in fact, be quite good. Others may even say how lucky you are to have it. It's simply that it means nothing to you. You do it because your circumstances require that you pull in that money every month. But you don't like it.

Don't think I have a silver bullet. Or not even that I'll be able to give you an easy way out. But I do offer you this (assuming you're not already doing it):
  • have you actively given thought to what you really want to do?
  • if not, read A Recipe For Life, or The Pull of What You Really Love, or The Price of Selling Your Soul, or Feel A River Move Within You, or Finding a Meaning For Your Life
  • once you have an idea about what you really want to do, give some thought to how you might get there. If you are 60 and want to be a prima donna ballerina, you may have to rethink. If you are short in height and want to play with the LA Lakers, you may have to rethink. But much of what we want to do, is achievable.
  • so make a plan. Does it require going back to university? Do you need to acquire some new skills? Can you do this at night, or on the weekends, while you continue with your current work? If the re-education or re-training costs money that youdon't have, can you get creative about how to get that money? Student loans? A personal loan? A second mortgage on the house? (Yes, I would most certainly consider that to be a good thing to do, if it gets you to this new place in your life.) 
  • be patient with yourself as you do this. Be loving with yourself. 
  • finally, and as you work on the above, remember to take pride - not only in how well you are able to do the job that you have (even while not liking it), but also in the fact that you have this current position precisely in order to be able to make this amount of money in order to be able to take care of your loved ones and yourself. That is something you are to be respected and admired for. Remind yourself of it.
And now get started on re-engineering yourself!

***************

Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books (also in Spanish & German). My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is available globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.


Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English). Available globally in paperback or Kindle e-book versions


Bücher von Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (Deutsch) ... JETZT bei Amazon (Taschenbuch oder E-Book) erhältlich 
DEINE SEELE UND DU
  

Angefangen mit Rewiring the Soul - auf Deutsch: Deine Seele und Du, jetzt weltweit erhältlich als Taschenbuch oder Kindle E-Book (Blog hier), werden auch meine anderen Bücher in Zukunft auf Deutsch bei Amazon erhältlich sein.

Libros por Gabriella Kortsch (español) ... ahora en todo el mundo en Amazon en versión bolsillo y Kindle



Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is The Tao of Spiritual Partnership, so named for another one of my books. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed. 

My blog posts are also featured on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, Pinterest & you can find me on Instagram 

Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Building Muscles For Future Use


Clients often come to see me in the midst of chaos. That's understandable - after all, people such as myself who work in the field of psychotherapy and healing - expect that.

Nevertheless, there is something wrong with that scenario. You've probably all heard of how historically Chinese doctors of medicine were paid a retainer to keep their patients healthy. If they did their job well, helping the clients stay healthy, surgery or other drastic measures would not be required.

So in the example I cited above, about clients making appointments when they are in the midst of chaos, lives falling apart, or dreadful moments of pain, worry, and stress, it's a bit of the same. If you eat poorly, don't exercise, sleep badly, and in general, live an unhealthy life, and then you go to the doctor when you feel sick, it will be much harder to turn your health around, than if you had gone to see that doctor long ago, in order to get good advice about how to live a healthy life in order to greatly increase your chances to not get sick.

In the case of psychotherapy we can use the same analogy. The way we live our lives in the minutes of our days - every day - has a far greater influence on how well we are able to weather great emotional, psychological, and spiritual storms than what we do when the storm hits, especially if we don't do whatever it is until we are already well into the eye of the storm. If you invested in hurricane shutters, and always keep an up-to-date supply of batteries, bottled water, and canned foods on hand, when that storm hits your city, you won't have to scramble madly, fighting the crowds, in order to get yourself stocked up. Or to find - perhaps - that supplies have run out and that you will be left to weather the storm with no protection whatsoever!

Therefore, the title of today's post: 'building muscles for future use' has much to do with what you do every single day when things are OK; when there is no particular stressor in your life, and when you believe yourself to be in control of matters. What you do on such days; what you think on such days; what you feel on such days is what builds the stuff of your inner fortitude that will work in your favour when difficulties come to visit. So if you don't really know what you could be doing, thinking, and feeling in order to build those muscles that will keep you going and that will come in handy for future use, you might want to decide now that it's a good time to attend some seminars, read some good books, or visit someone such as myself, instead of postponing much of this until the proverbial stuff hits the fan!

One final point: many people have told me during their first visit that they have, in fact, gone to many seminars, or read numerous books, but their life never changed. They recount how hyped they were, for example, after some of the seminars, or how much peace they had found after a retreat, or how much this or that book had resonated with them, but their life never changed. Therein lies the problem, and I've been guilty of this myself at earlier times in my life. You know what you're hearing or reading is precisely what you need. It furthermore gives you a sense of great inner energy. But you go home, or you close the book, or switch off your device after viewing an online program, and you simply don't apply what you learned on a daily basis. Building muscles that keep you going need attention every day. Not necessarily exclusive attention, in that you may not need to set aside time to practice, because much of it can be done simultaneously with your other activities, but without paying conscious attention every day on days when chaos in not part of your life, then, when you do actually need those muscles, they won't be there for you. As always, you choose.

***************

Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books (also in Spanish & German). My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is available globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.


Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English). Available globally in paperback or Kindle e-book versions


Bücher von Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (Deutsch) ... JETZT bei Amazon (Taschenbuch oder E-Book) erhältlich 
DEINE SEELE UND DU
  

Angefangen mit Rewiring the Soul - auf Deutsch: Deine Seele und Du, jetzt weltweit erhältlich als Taschenbuch oder Kindle E-Book (Blog hier), werden auch meine anderen Bücher in Zukunft auf Deutsch bei Amazon erhältlich sein.

Libros por Gabriella Kortsch (español) ... ahora en todo el mundo en Amazon en versión bolsillo y Kindle



Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is The Tao of Spiritual Partnership, so named for another one of my books. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed. 

My blog posts are also featured on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, Pinterest & you can find me on Instagram 

Monday, June 27, 2016

Choosing Love - Not Fear


What prevails in your life? Is it love? Or is it fear? If love is stronger you will know it immediately because in general, your life holds a measure of well-being and peace that - should your life be ruled by fear - you will not be tremendously well acquainted with.

Being ruled by fear necessitates a negative charge to daily life. It means - in simple terms - that you are not confident that you will be fine no matter what occurs. In other words, you are fearful of some things happening, essentially because you believe - you fear - that if they happen, you will suffer. Exactly what those events are that you fear may vary from person to person to such a degree that what John fears most is something that Simon does not fear at all, and yet what Simon fears, is something that John considers a simple challenge that can easily be surmounted. Living a life where at some point - most likely some subconscious point - you chose fear over love does not mean that you are a coward or a wimp. This is not about courage. It is about understanding some elementary aspects about the goodness of life and about believing in the self the way one does when one has established a relationship with the self. And you only ever do that if you have begun the process of loving the self.

The fact of the matter is that those things that we fear - as long as we continue to fear - can never be fully enumerated, because we have no way of knowing what we may have to face at the next turn of the road. Fear - in this sense - implies wishing to control that which we may encounter, and as said, it is never possible to control everything that we might encounter, because we simply don't know what we will encounter at any given time.

At this point the choice for love and trust in the self may - if we are conscious enough - enter the equation.

Love has to do with confidence, with caring for the self and with knowing that because you care for the self, you are able to handle things as they arise in your life - even when those things  are difficult or painful. More than anything, above all, and in the very first instance, choosing love has to do with loving the self and because of this love having the firm inner conviction that you can deal with any of the cards that life throws you. That does not mean, by the way, that you will always win or always be successful, or always get what you want. It simply means that no matter what happens, you will be able to deal with it in such a way that your inner well being remains on an even keel. Even if you are Nelson Mandela and spending 27 years locked up in Robben Island, and even if you are Victor Frankl imprisoned in Auschwitz, or even if you are Aimée Mullens and had both legs amputated when you were five.

This inner conviction does not come about just in an instance. Let's say you have lived your life driven by fear to this point. You've attempted - often unsuccessfully - to exert a measure of control over those outer circumstances that threaten to throw your well-being off center. You are ruled - to a degree - by the subliminal fear or knowledge that you are not able to control your life, and hence you don't know how you will be if something bad happens.

This inner conviction does not come about just in an instance. Let's say you have lived your life driven by fear to this point. You've attempted - often unsuccessfully - to exert a measure of control over those outer circumstances that threaten to throw your well-being off center. You are ruled - to a degree - by the subliminal fear or knowledge that you are not able to control your life, and hence you don't know how you will be if something bad happens. You don´t know if you will be able to deal with, or even bear the circumstances - whatever they may be. This creates – if not outright fear, since fear is such a strong emotion – at least a continual sensation of discomfort in your skin, so to speak. Something about you, concerning your life and the way you live does not feel at ease.

The process of moving from a fear-ruled life in the sense described above to a love-ruled life always begins with the recognition of the need to learn how to love the self. By loving the self, fear gradually begins to dissipate because the individual whose life is ruled by love and who has chosen love as the primary benchmark for how he lives his life, is an individual for whom fear – of dis-ease - no longer looms large as it does for the person who has not yet made such choices.

I imagine you are inundated with advice for this new year that began only a few hours ago and so I merely wish to leave you with several thoughts:
  • Choosing love over fear signifies that you view your life from the vantage point of goodness, love, strength and hope, as well as peace, love and harmony, as opposed to fear, competition, one-up-man-ship, and the need to prove that something about you, your life or what you do is more right than that of another individual.
  • Choosing love over fear means every situation always brings you to a win-win end result.
  • Choosing love over fear as a modus operandi for your life; a way to live your life will literally change everything for you.
  • Choosing love over fear will also change the effect you have on all those whose lives you touch and so YOU will actively - and most literally - contribute to change our world.
Choose love. Choose it for you, your loved ones, your neighbourhood, your community, your nation and your world. We are all in this together and we can all contribute to making this change. All it takes is all of us choosing love over fear. Remember that we are all one and that what affects one of us, affects us all.

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Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books (also in Spanish & German). My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is available globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.


Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English). Available globally in paperback or Kindle e-book versions


Bücher von Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (Deutsch) ... JETZT bei Amazon (Taschenbuch oder E-Book) erhältlich 
DEINE SEELE UND DU
  

Angefangen mit Rewiring the Soul - auf Deutsch: Deine Seele und Du, jetzt weltweit erhältlich als Taschenbuch oder Kindle E-Book (Blog hier), werden auch meine anderen Bücher in Zukunft auf Deutsch bei Amazon erhältlich sein.

Libros por Gabriella Kortsch (español) ... ahora en todo el mundo en Amazon en versión bolsillo y Kindle



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